A sexy self-growth project- 30 days of D/s, part deux (Day 3) 18+, NSFW

Hello, my friends!

Three years ago, I participated in the Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s writing prompts and from this experience, I learned a lot about myself and about D/s.  Recently, I embarked on re-reading my former posts and realized that so much of what I have written in the past was either no longer relevant, or, my views on the topics had evolved into something else entirely.  I thought it might be fun to share my before and now posts, side by side.

Also, please note that while I refer to a Dominant as “He” and a submissive as “she” in my writing, this is only done to reflect my own experiences. I do not believe that either role is more inherent to either gender.

Keeping it kinky!

XOXO,

Nora

Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s – Day 03

Beyond the basic title of Dominant or submissive, are there other titles you prefer or are interested in exploring? Are there any that turn you off or don’t seem like a good fit for you?

December 23, 2020

Recently, I realized that submissive is a title that I may not be able to live without.  That was a distressing realization, as one cannot simply produce a Dominant out of thin air.  Like yin and yang,  the titles Dominant and submissive, go hand in hand. 

As most of you know, my husband and I have a DD contract, but he does not serve as my Dominant.  He serves has my HOH, and I lovingly refer to him as my Daddy.  You might wonder why we have limited ourselves to DD when there is a great big world of D/s waiting.  Over the last several years, my husband has realized that he isn’t in the right head space (at least not yet) to provide me with the necessary mental elements of a D/s dynamic.  He is much more comfortable with creating a list of rules together, which he reinforces.  It is my responsibility to make him aware when I break one of these rules and at that time, he will decide how I am to be disciplined.  This is working much better for us than the many failed attempts at a D/s dynamic.

But, I am a submissive.  I long to please the right person with my submission.  I long to bend my mind to his will. 

The title Master has also long intrigued me, though the term slave holds no appeal.  It may be that I just like the term itself, as master by definition is “a person with the ability or power to use, control, or dispose of something”. 

      


May 22, 2017

When considering titles, I reflect on other titles that Daddy and I have had during our remarkable 14 years together.  When we first began, it was boyfriend/girlfriend which soon led to fiancé on our first-year anniversary, after my husband’s beautiful marriage proposal.  Two years after that we became husband and wife, we were best friends, and sometimes described ourselves as soul mates.  I reflect on the hard times, where we briefly described ourselves as “separated”.  I hated that particular label and am grateful that we found our way back to one another quickly, losing very little time together but being forced to see that we each had to change a bit to make our marriage work.

Today, living our new lifestyle which includes elements of D/s and DD, the way that I conceptualize him in my mind is either “Husband” or “Daddy”.  He typically refers to me as “My Wife”, his “Baby girl”, and his “Good Little Girl”.  It is very infrequent that we use “Dominant” or “Submissive” as titles, but more as descriptors.  For example, he might say that he would like me to work on being more “submissive” to him.  Or, I may ask him to “dominate” me on a particular evening, which usually includes discipline, humiliation, and anal play.

What I yearn for is to be Daddy’s little girl.  I realized recently that I may identify as a “little”.  I absolutely glow inside when he refers to me as “his good little girl” or his “little one” or “baby girl”.  In reflecting on this further, I have realized that I am not interested in age play and that I don’t identify as a specific age from childhood.  But, what I long for is to be taken care of, provided for, guided, disciplined when I misbehave, and to have that feeling of safety that comes from being under Daddy’s protection, of being Daddy’s little girl.

As I address this post, I realize that Daddy and I have not spent much time talking about labels and what they mean to us.  I know that he loves that I call him Daddy, but I have realized in writing this that I don’t know exactly why (and I want to find out!).  I send a big thank you out to John Brownstone and Kayla Lords for providing this prompt as I know that this will lead to a very insightful conversation between my Daddy and I, providing a deeper understanding of our dynamic.

12 thoughts on “A sexy self-growth project- 30 days of D/s, part deux (Day 3) 18+, NSFW

Add yours

  1. Nora, talk about hitting the nail on the head. I’m a total novice but I find it so refreshing to see you acknowledge titles that fit and titles that don’t. For me, slave is never a title I feel at ease with, submissive feels good but pet feels better. The way you describe the feeling of warmth and pride from being a good girl utterly resonates!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I identify as a little for the same reason. It has nothing to do with age play. And everything to do with a desire to be cared for. On another note. Do you ever find when you have guests over of when you’re a guest in another’s house. That you crave discipline. Or even that you test far far beyond the normal limit just to see what will happen. That was a bit of a messy rant but I hope you understand. Because we have people over and I find myself craving discipline. And also subconsciously testing far beyond the normal limit.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. In 2017, I was considering the label “little”, but not now. I do like being cared for though, and nurtured. And no…I’m not big in testing my Daddy, especially in front of company. That is my chance to impress him with good behavior😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh I do sometimes. But sometimes the brattiness washes over me. And I just have to act up and see how he’ll react. Especially in the beginning it was all testing. But now I just crave the discipline. But per my prior comment. I don’t really like labels. But I like the label little sometimes because it doesn’t have the sort of hot button reaction that submissive does. And because I like to feel taken care of and guided.

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Labels. In some ways they don’t matter and in other ways they are everything! And as your posts show, time can change our interpretations of them. Happy New Year Nora!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love the thought processes that go into defining who we are and what we love, like, want and need – or what doesn’t fit or work for us. They say the most powerful sexual organ is between the ears. Your thoughtful introspection makes for a great read.

    The “Daddy” title is powerful. It provides the connotation invoking all the right feelings of nurturing, protecting, and strong traditional authority.

    Like

    1. I couldn’t agree more, franzcoughka! I adore referring to my husband as Daddy. It has been so normalized for us, I accidentally do so in public sometimes, and then blush heavily when I realize I have done so.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. When it’s not just a game, but your life, it must be difficult to keep your Daddy relationship completely private. Any public exposure, even just a hint of it, makes you blush. As a precarious situation, I think it adds a bit of thrill to it all.

        Liked by 1 person

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