Posted in domestic discipline

The Punishment Book

A few weeks ago, Daddy and I re-committed ourselves to our domestic discipline lifestyle.  We both felt that we had become very infatuated with D/s, sexual exploration, rituals, etc., and that the purpose of why we were changing our relationship climate was getting lost in the excitement.  Not saying the other stuff isn’t hugely exciting and satisfying, but….

We decided that it would be beneficial that I record my transgressions and my punishments throughout the week so that Daddy could review my behavior each week before my Sunday maintenance spanking.  I had recently seen a beautiful leather journal in a book shop and now having a valid reason to buy it, I brought it home.  Daddy and I both wrote out our commitments to one another on the first page.

Daddy’s commitment reads, “I promise to love, honor, cherish, to take care of, and to hold accountable my beautiful baby girl”.

My commitment reads, “I promise to love, honor, and obey my Husband.  He is my Husband and my Daddy and I will always show him respect”.

On the second page, we listed all of our agreed upon punishments, which include things like spanking, tawse to the hands, mouth soaping, punishment lines, grounding, etc.  This was done for Daddy’s benefit as he likes to switch things up a bit and not always rely on spanking.

This week was a rough week.  Daddy and I had many commitments and I was feeling a lot of pressure about traveling out of town for my niece’s birthday party.  It was also ridiculously hot where we live and that is getting to both of us.  When I review the punishment book for this week, I see that Daddy had to discipline me on three occasions.  My misbehavior this week included:

Transgression: Not handling stress well, disrespectful tone.  Punishment: Spanking and corner time.

Transgression: Failure to submit- trying to stop Daddy from touching me as I was afraid someone might see and I might feel embarrassed.  Punishment: 5 strokes of the tawse to each hand.

Transgression: Showing Daddy extreme disrespect by walking outside to grab something while he was talking to me.  Punishment: Hard, lengthy paddling and scolding.

When I review my punishment book for this week, I feel quite disappointed in myself.  While I have come a long way since the beginning of our journey, I continue to struggle in fully submitting to my husband’s will and authority.  My submission to him makes him hugely happy and I want more than anything to give him that gift.  This week, I pledge to continue to read my new book, “The Surrendered Wife” and I will search for a new daily writing prompt, similar to the 30 Days of D/s presented by Loving BDSM.  I found when I was writing about submission daily that I was more apt to stay in the right frame of mind.

Daddy and I are headed out for a swim but I know my weekly maintenance spanking will occur after that.  Feeling a bit nervous as it has been quite a while since I had to be disciplined three times in one week for misbehavior.  I have a feeling that I will be sleeping on my tummy tonight.

I hope you are all well and that you are in cooler parts of the world!

Happy writing 🙂

~ nora

Posted in Uncategorized

The Surrendered Wife

Recently, I began reading a book titled, “The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion, and Peace with a Man” written by Laura Doyle.  To preface my review of the topics found within this book, let me say that I was looking for material which would help me change how I think about my husband and our marriage in order to change my behavior toward my husband.

If you’ve been following my blog for any length of time, you know that I will freely admit that I had become the nagging, criticizing wife that every husband has nightmares about.  I was constantly trying to control my husband and influence every single part of his life.  If he didn’t do something as I wanted him to, he never heard the end of it.  As a result, we each grew unhappier and unhappier until 14 years into our marriage, we realized something had to change.

I began looking at different therapies, self-help books, etc., when one day I stumbled upon a domestic discipline website.  Finding myself very intrigued by the idea of a total power exchange within my marriage, I began to learn about head-of-household, submission, punishments suitable for disrespectful wives, and so on.  I presented this idea to my husband and within a few days, we were on a new path to a happier, healthier marriage.  That was six months ago.

Over the last six months, a lot has changed between my husband and I.  He is the head of our household and I submit (or try to submit) to his authority.  When I disrespect him or do something that goes against the rules we set together, he punishes me as he sees fit.  And this is working marvelously for us!!!  We are both more content with life, happier in many aspects, more productive, and our sex life is phenomenal.  However, I am on a quest to continue to deepen my submission toward my husband.  Specifically, I would like to change how I think about his authority, his decisions, his control over me, etc.

I will be honest, there are times when I really don’t want to obey my husband because I think he is wrong in some way, or, because I think that I know better.  Heck, maybe sometimes I do know better…but there are plenty of times that I absolutely do not.  My husband is hard working, intelligent, great at problem-solving, great at fixing just about anything, and he is dedicated to us and our marriage.  He does not need to be micromanaged.  He does not need to be controlled.  What he does need is my trust, my respect, my undying loyalty and faith in him.

This brings me to the book, “The Surrendered Wife”.  This book is greatly aiding me on my quest toward changing my thinking about my submission.  While I am only to Chapter 4 at this point, I have had more self-revelations than I can count!  To be clear, this book is unrelated to D/s, domestic discipline, BDSM, etc.  However, for the individual longing to learn deeper submission toward his/her partner, this book is helpful is changing how you conceptualize your role within your marriage.  And, as we know, changing how we think is the path to truly changing ourselves and our behaviors.

To give you an idea of the content of this book, let me provide you with a quick peek at the back cover.  It reads, “Like millions of women, Laura Doyle wanted her marriage to be better.  But when she tried to get her husband to be more romantic, helpful, and ambitious, he withdrew- and she was lonely and exhausted from controlling everything.  Desperate to be in love with her man again, she decided to stop telling him what to do and how to do it.  When Doyle surrendered control, something magical happened.  The union she had always dreamed of appeared.  The man who had wooed her was back.”

The book also suggests that the reader complete various exercises.  The first suggestion reads “Write down five situations where you have been controlling with your husband recently.  For each situation, ask yourself what it was you were afraid would happen?  Was your fear realistic? What was the worst-case scenario? Did needing to control the situation justify losing intimacy with your husband?  I will share some of what I have journaled on this topic.

Example of my control #1freaking out while my husband was driving in heavy traffic, to the point of almost being in tears when he wouldn’t slow down when I wanted him to, or leave as much space between vehicles as I wanted him to.  We both ended up frustrated and angry.

What was I afraid would happen? We would get into a car accident.

Was your fear realistic? No.  My husband is an excellent driver with an excellent driving record.  He has not been in a single accident, nor has he received any tickets, in the 14 years we have been together.  He drives frequently in heavy traffic for work and most likely has more experience with it than I do.

What was the worst-case scenario? In this case, as we were moving rather slowly, the worst-case scenario would have been actually getting into a fender bender.

Did needing to control the situation justify losing intimacy with your husband? No, it did not.  My husband was driving safely, I was just trying to exert un-needed control over the situation as traffic is a great stressor for me.  What I could have done is either focused on music, conversation, etc., rather than allowing myself to get really worked up.  I need to show my husband that I trust him to get us from point A to point B safely, because he is more than capable of doing so and my criticizing his driving hurts him and our relationship.

Example of my control #2- Speaking harshly to my husband after a miscommunication about a project we were working on together.

What was I afraid would happen?  That we wouldn’t finish the project in a timely manner and that it wouldn’t turn out how I wanted it to.

Was your fear realistic? No. Yes, the project took time to complete but not because my husband was doing anything wrong…it just took a long time to do the right way.  And, after my little freak out (which earned me a spanking), I was able to calmly explain to my husband my concerns and he ensured that the project turned out exactly how I wanted it to.  Note to self- bypass the freak-out and the spanking and just calmly explain what I would like in the first place.

What was the worst-case scenario?  I suppose it was that we wouldn’t finish the project that night and it would have to be put away until the next evening.

Did needing to control the situation justify losing intimacy with your husband? Absolutely not.  Even if we hadn’t finished the project that night, which we did, it wouldn’t have hurt anything (except my dumb need for control) if we had finished it the following night.  This was a self-imposed deadline which put stress on our marriage…not worth it!

Example of my control #3–  Not allowing my husband to cop a feel in the kitchen while we had guests over, all of whom were outside.

What was I afraid would happen?  I guess I was afraid that someone would discover us, but this was totally unfounded as we could clearly hear that there was no one near the kitchen.

Was your fear realistic?  No, it wasn’t.  There was absolutely nothing wrong with my husband slipping his hand into my pants to grope my bottom.  I wish I had just enjoyed it instead of trying to control the situation.

What was the worst-case scenario? I suppose worst-case was someone walking in and seeing a husband being intimate with his wife.  Is this really all that bad?

Did needing to control the situation justify losing intimacy with your husband?  Definitely not.  I wish I had just relaxed and enjoyed the squeeze.  I tend to get a little worked up when we are entertaining and this is something that I would like to work on.    

 

That’s all for now.  I would absolutely recommend this book to anyone who is wanting to enhance his/her marriage by surrendering control to his/her partner.  This book uses terminology geared toward women surrendering to their husbands, but honestly, gender is not the important focus…respect and trust toward your partner is.  I will continue to share as I work through some of the activities.

Happy writing and thanks for stopping by 🙂

~ nora

Posted in Uncategorized

The Wait- A Poem for Daddy #NSFW

As I wait in nervous anticipation,

Awed at the emotions he continues to inspire.

What seems like a lifetime together,

Yet each day he manages to stoke the fire.

 

Fire and racing passion in my blood,

Images of Daddy and what will surely transpire.

His hands warm upon my naked flesh,

pain and pleasure delivered by my supplier.

 

A ball of putty in those masterful hands,

A mare in heat in the presence of her Sire.

Hearing him softly say my name in ecstasy,

Oh, of this I’ll never tire.

 

Hot kisses, hard touches,

Each punishing thrust taking us higher.

Bodies as one with sweet, deep release,

At last, sated of our desire.

 

Daddy… how I have missed you so this week.  Please hurry home to your baby girl.

Love, nora

Poem 2 pic 2

 

 

 

 

 

Posted in Uncategorized

#NSFW, 18+ only: While Daddy is away…Nora gets to play!!!

Only one more night without Daddy!  I can’t wait to be in his arms again.  This morning, he took full advantage of the Wunderlist app that we both downloaded to our phones.  If you haven’t tried it yet, it is a fantastic D/s tool as your Dominant can load activities for you throughout the day and will be notified when you have completed your “tasks”.  While Daddy typically adds chores throughout the day, this morning was a little different…

This morning, the app notified me that Daddy added the following today to my to-do list:

  • Lube up new jelly toy
  • Insert it into your bottom
  • Watch spanking videos
  • Touch yourself while you think of me inside your bottom

 

This is shaping up to be a mighty fine Thursday morning!  See you all later… I have “chores” to do!

Happy writing 🙂

~ nora

Posted in Uncategorized

Missing Daddy

While I have been trying to make the best out of this week, it has been a bit tough with Daddy away for work.  He will be back on Friday evening and I am counting the minutes down!  Just because Daddy is out of town doesn’t mean his little girl gets a break though.  Daddy recently discovered the world of Wunderlist (an app for your phone all about task management) and my phone continuously pings throughout the day to let me know that Daddy has added another chore or errand to my daily to-do list.  I think his strategy may be to keep naughty nora so busy she won’t have time to sulk or pout because he is away.  Well…it is working!

I was dreading this week apart.  I worried that the loneliness would feel unbearable.  I worried that because our DD & D/s journey has brought us so much closer and more intimate, that him being away would be even worse than ever.  However; what I am finding is that while I miss him terribly, our DD & D/s rituals bring great comfort during this time of being apart.  Daddy continues to assign me tasks and yesterday he assigned me 150 lines to write, to remind me of my submission to him while he is away.  I was instructed to sit topless, with a plug inserted into my bottom, at our dining room table and write, “I will be submissive with or without Daddy’s presence”.

I feel that this is just another gift that our new lifestyle has afforded us.  Prior to this, when Daddy was away, I felt hurt, lonely, and resentful that I was responsible for not only my own job but also for taking care of everything while he was away.  Now, I am bursting with gratitude that I am married to a man who loves me so much he takes the time to not only help structure my time but send me messages throughout the day reminding me that I belong to him and that he misses what is his.

I love this path that we are on…and I love you Daddy!  I cannot wait to be in your arms again.

Love, nora

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Sex in the City! 18+, NSFW

This past weekend, Daddy surprised me with a 2-night trip into the city!  We had a fantastic time and stayed in a beautiful room with a view.  The trip was relaxing, rejuvenating, and EXCITING.  Once I knew of our travel plans, I decided that I wanted to do something that would be sexually exciting for Daddy.  I researched BDSM clubs and bars, but found nothing that looked appealing.  In my web search, a classy Gentleman’s club popped up and I decided that it would be very exciting to accompany Daddy to a strip club.  I had never been to one and I knew that Daddy had only been twice when he was in his early twenties.

We were both very nervous Saturday night before we set out on our adventure.  We had a couple of drinks in our hotel room as I prettied myself up for Daddy…it had been a long time since I had reason to do the full smoky-eye look and add a ton of volumizer to my dark tresses.  As we headed out I was trembling in nervous anticipation and holding tightly to Daddy’s arm.

Arriving at our destination, we paid our entrance fee ($25 each) and were escorted inside.  I was struck by the sheer elegance of the space…it was dimly lit by beautiful lamps, dark mahogany wood everywhere, with booths and tables in secluded corners throughout.  In the center of the room was a lit stage and a very sexy, dark haired woman was dancing.  I was a bit entranced as Daddy led us to a small table.  We did not sit down by the stage, but up on a higher tier off on our own.  A very pretty waitress immediately came over and offered drinks which we gladly ordered. Not long after, one of the dancers asked if she could keep us company but we politely declined, telling her that she was very beautiful, but that we just weren’t quite ready for company.

While we watched the dancers and people move about the room, we both noticed a very attractive blond who was warming up on a pole that was near us.  I honestly think we both noticed her because of her behind…she had one of the most attractive bottoms I have ever seen (and I look at a lot of spanking images!).  She was very slender, small breasts, but a bottom that just begged for a spanking.  Also, her hair was nearly to her waist and absolutely gorgeous.  She was wearing a very tiny, black piece of lingerie that didn’t cover much, yet was still incredibly feminine and soft.  She smiled warmly at us when she noticed us watching her.  She came over and said hello and introduced herself as Natasha.  It was her turn to dance, but she told us she would return after.

Daddy and I greatly enjoyed watching Natasha dance.  While we weren’t sitting down by the stage, she still made eye contact with us almost the entire time, turning her body toward us often.  I was nervous but excited about what was to come…I really wanted to buy Daddy some time with Natasha and planned to ask her how it all worked when she returned.  Daddy had given me permission prior to arriving to buy him a lap dance if I felt comfortable.

After her dance, Natasha came and sat down with us.  Daddy offered her his chair, and he crouched down between the two of us, at eye level.  I wondered if she could smell his sexy cologne.  We were very forthright and asked her how it all worked.  She was glad to explain how the club operated, how the girls were paid and what private dances cost.  During this time, we tipped her a twenty and bought her a drink (well, tried to buy her a drink…anything she orders is on the house though the girls are not allowed to drink alcohol while working).  The conversation soon turned more personal and she shared with us that she was an intern at a clinic, working on her master’s degree.  While she looked to be about 21, she was actually 34…she obviously takes very good care of herself.

I felt nervous about taking up too much of her time, and thanked her very much for coming over.  She looked a little surprised so I told her that we were taking it slow and that we just wanted to watch for a while.  I asked her if she wouldn’t mind coming back and visiting with us again later in the evening and she said that she would.

Alone again, Daddy and I talked about what we wanted to do while we watched beautiful women dance and strip on the stage.  As this club served alcohol, the girls did not get fully nude, but most revealed their breasts.  The women were all gorgeous and most danced very well.  One dancer in particular was extremely agile and did some moves that would serve her well as a Circque du Soleil dancer.  There was another young woman that caught our eye named Sapphire, but she was busy entrancing two men in suits.

After more drinks and more watching, Natasha once again joined us.  I asked her if I could buy a dance for Daddy and not only did she said yes, but that I could watch and participate if I would like.  She led us to a secluded booth where she explained that there was no touching of her breasts or between her legs, but that everywhere else was okay.  I bought Daddy two dances which cost $60.  She asked us what we liked and feeling a bit brazen from the booze, I told her we were into spanking.  She sort of leaned over Daddy’s lap and looking over her shoulder at me, she said, “Well please feel free to spank me then”….oh my goodness….I will never forget that moment or what her silky bottom felt like in my hand.  I didn’t actually spank her but I did fondle her sexy little bottom for a bit while she danced for Daddy.  Watching her rub herself all over him, she almost completely nude and Daddy fully clothed, was very sexually exciting especially as he reached out for me and held my hand the entire time.

After the two songs had played, we sat and chatted for a little while with Natasha sitting on Daddy’s lap, and then Natasha led us back to our table.  I’m sure she was hoping that we would pay for some private back room time, but Daddy and I had gone about as far as we were ready to that evening.  I was actually ready to head back to our hotel and make love but we stayed and watched a few more dancers.  During this time, Daddy attached my leather cuffs to my wrists.  I knew he had brought them but it was the first time he ever made me wear them in public.  I felt deliciously naughty, sitting there in a dimly lit strip club with Daddy, wearing my leather cuffs, watching very beautiful women dance and strip for us.

We decided to walk back to our hotel and I was absolutely mortified when Daddy stopped at another bar for a drink…it was one thing to wear my cuffs in a strip club, but at a regular bar?  I was sure everyone was staring but was too embarrassed to make eye contact.  I was relieved when we arrived back in our hotel room.  Of course, I didn’t have much time to think about it as Daddy went into DaddyDom mode and we were soon wrapped up in a sweaty tangle….

Overall, it was a wonderfully sexy experience and probably as close to a threesome as we will ever get.

Thank you for reading 🙂

nora

Posted in Uncategorized

Refocusing on Domestic Discipline

Lately, Daddy and I have really gotten caught up in our D/s dynamic…rituals, sexual submission, trying new things at a rapid pace, etc.  While exploring ourselves sexually has been incredible (emphasize the incredible part), we have really gotten away from the original reason that Daddy and I embarked on this journey in the first place.  That reason was to change our marriage for the better…to encourage my submission to my husband and to encourage my husband to be a stronger leader in our marriage.  We decided to accomplish that goal through a strong commitment to both of our new roles.

As I mentioned, we have gotten really caught up in our sex life (not necessarily a bad thing).  However, outside of the bedroom, our roles began to slowly revert back to our old selves.  I could feel myself becoming overly critical again.  Daddy was beginning to feel defensive constantly and engage in avoidance behaviors.  We had two arguments last week over STUPID things.

Thankfully, we both recognized what was happening.  We agreed to discuss things when my husband returned from work tonight.  My assignment was to think about things, create a list of punishments we would review, and write down transgressions that I had yet to be punished for.  The list of punishments that I created (and Daddy approved this evening) are:

Physical

  • Spanking
  • Strap/ruler to palms
  • Mouth washing with soap
  • Figging
  • Large plug (at home or public)
  • Restraints/hog-tie

Time Outs

  • Corner Time
  • Nose pressed against wall
  • Punishment stool
  • Sent to bed early
  • Writing lines

Privilege Removal

  • Grounded to the house
  • Internet sites (WordPress, etc.)
  • Alcohol or Coffee
  • Speaking (use of bit)
  • Sitting on furniture
  • Orgasm/Sex

Daddy and I reviewed this list together and he thanked me for putting this down in writing.  We also decided that I would keep a list of transgressions daily and record my punishments, to bring more focus to behavior modification.  I also shared with Daddy three transgressions which I had yet to be punished for.  One of the transgressions included spending too much time on the internet and not enough time dedicated to my academic writing.  For this, Daddy has restricted me from WordPress tomorrow (I will miss reading all of your blogs with my morning coffee!).  I was surprised at how it felt when Daddy announced this as my punishment…I actually teared up and felt very, very sorry that I had not used my time more wisely.  I suppose that means it is an effective punishment.  Daddy wanted time to consider my other two transgressions and I do not know yet how I will be punished.

Overall, from our discussion, we both came away wanting a total re-commitment to our DD lifestyle.  Daddy has stated that he would like to be more consistent, apply more on-the-spot corrections, and be more proactive in helping me learn to be submissive.  I stated that I wanted to continue to work on not only behaving more submissively but also on thinking more submissively and that I would follow his lead and obey his decisions in these matters.

I have come to believe that life is mostly about hard work and fun.  Daddy and I really got caught up in the fun of D/s…now it is time to start putting the hard work in again, so that we can enjoy the benefits of a happier, less stressful marriage.  Don’t get me wrong, I hope the kinky sex stuff keeps up as well, but I have a feeling I may be sleeping on my tummy the next few night….

Happy writing, all!  See you Thursday 🙂

~ nora