Posted in TMI Tuesday

A little TMI fun on a Wednesday….

Hi all!  This is the writing prompt from TMI Tuesday….thank you for reading!

  1. Which animal listed below represents your true sexual self?
    a. Chipmunk – cute and cuddly
    b. Monkey – all about being mischievousness
    c. Tiger – I’ve earned my stripes

I would describe myself as deep, intense, reflective person…my playful side comes out in my writing much more often than it does in real life.  For these reasons, I see myself more as a tigeress.

  1. Your partner is in the mood for sexy fun and you are tired – what do you do?
    a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
    b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
    c. That would never happen!

I am pretty much always in the mood.  I may not have always been this way, but my 30’s have definitely brought me into my sexual peak (or maybe it will just keep getting better and better?).

  1. Which of these sexual descriptive labels closely matches you?
    a. Dominant
    b. Submissive
    c. Top
    d. Bottom
    e. Switch
    f. Kinkster

To be honest, I’m just not sure anymore.  I still desire to be my husband’s submissive, but only under certain conditions, and we just aren’t to that place yet.  At times, I think about what it might be like to dominate another person (not my husband), but I just don’t think we would ever open up our marriage like that.  So…right now, I am just me…self-identified spanko 😊

  1. Would you rather have your enemy eaten by a shark or die in an earthquake getting swallowed up by earth?

Neither!  I would never wish true harm upon another person.  I have regrets about people that I have hurt in the past, but I have apologized to most of those people now…something that I would recommend to everyone.  There comes great emotional freedom in making apologies to people who you have wronged. 

  1. For the next year, would you rather be dressed like a mime every day OR look normal but not be allowed to talk?

I am super confused by this question.  Mime’s don’t talk.  So…it’s asking if I want to be dressed like a mime (mime’s don’t’ talk), or dress normally and don’t talk? I think I’d save myself the trouble of putting on all that white make-up every day and just dress normally.  But…there is no way I could go through a year of not talking…I’m not even sure that I could make one day!  I am the kind of person who has to get their feelings, thoughts, fears, joys out.    

Bonus: What’s the most beautiful word in the world?

Mom.

 

Thank you for reading!

Love, nora

 

Posted in Uncategorized

What a girl wants

Well, not so much what a girl wants, but what THIS girl wants.  I want to find happiness again.  Daddy and I have been through some crappy times lately and I just want this to pass.  In a nutshell, I am angry, sad, feeling rejected, suspicious, defeated, lonely, and just plain depressed much of the time.  Daddy is stuck in this rut of feeling ashamed with himself, guilt at what his action’s have done to me, loneliness, and depression (and probably more, but this is what he has shared with me).  As any of my longtime readers know, we are dealing with the aftermath of infidelity.

The thing is, I know that our relationship can be strong again.  He is still the man that I love, my best friend, the one that I want to experience life with.  We’ve had a handful of really good days the past few months, a lot of just average/slightly disconnected from one each other days, and a few awful days where we fight and say hurtful things to one another.  I did about 5 weeks of therapy, and Daddy is still going once per week.  We talk about going to couples counseling but haven’t taken that leap yet.

We’ve started and stopped D/s several times in the past few months.  Living a 24/7 D/s dynamic with him is what I want with my whole heart.  Unfortunately, he is living with so much guilt over what he’s done to us that he struggles in the leadership role (understandable).  And yet, this very structure is what I believe will help me heal from all this faster.

So…back to the title of this post….what I want.  I want both of us to focus on our health- it is amazing the bad patterns you can get into while depressed- eating unhealthy foods, drinking too much, not making time for exercise.  I want to focus on my own mental health, while Daddy focuses on his.  I want to find our spark again…that feeling I used to get when I would look at him at my heart would swell with love, pride, and desire.  I want to submit to him.  I want to lose control, to him.  I want to experience kinky sessions with multiple vibrators, plugs, spanking instruments, and tie downs. Oh, how I miss the spankings…the cathartic release of the pain, the feeling of submission that comes from knowing that I am at his mercy. I want to be in public places and hear him whisper in my ear the naughty things he wants to do to me. I want new adventures together.

I am hoping that I am not coming off as too whiny.  There are a lot of things in my life that I have to be grateful for, and I do recognize that.  I have a career I love (teaching…I’m pretty burnt out on working in mental health), I have two adorable puppies that bring me joy every day, I have a beautiful home that sits on 5 beautiful acres in a lovely area, I have my health, I have a few very close connections with family members, and more…

But, I want that connection with my husband…that spark…those sexual feelings….

I love you, Daddy.  Still waiting out the storm.

Love, nora