Encouraging dominance

Hi all,

How to encourage dominance in one’s significant other is something that I have been researching for quite awhile.  Tonight, I opened WordPress to find the most articulate and well-written article that I have seen on the subject, written by one of my favorite bloggers, submissy.   This is an easy read, succinct, and intuitive.

Please visit her website to read 5 things that encourage Dominance

Happy reading, ya’all!

XOXO,

nora

Where pleasure meets pain #NSFW, 18+

Daddy and I had one of those rare, beautifully perfect days yesterday.  It began with our morning ritual of coffee and hot cocoa, which we lingered over till almost noon.  It was then that Daddy told me there would be no sexual escapades that afternoon…I would have be a good girl and earn this privilege.  This concept is fairly new to us (pleasure being withheld), but I did my best not to pout.  We enjoyed a lovely lunch at one of our favorite restaurants (the lobster artichoke dip is phenomenal!) and spent time at the craft store selecting a few new fall decorations.  At the end of the day, Daddy told me that I had been a very good girl and that I would get my reward in the morning.

And boy did I ever!

He ordered me to our bedroom, to strip off everything except the leather cuffs he put me to bed in, and to lay face up on our bed with my legs spread.  I obeyed, the fantasies building in my mind, until I finally heard his footsteps in the hall.

“Good girl,” he told me, running his finger from my ankle to my hip causing me to shiver from the thrill.  He spread my legs even wider and began inspecting my freshly shaved lady parts.  Recently, Daddy has re-instated the rule that I must shave myself bare twice per month, ensuring that I am well-groomed to his liking.

“Roll over unto your tummy,” he said, heading to our walk-in closet.

I complied immediately, ensuring my thighs were spread so that I was fully exposed to his advances.  He was gone for several minutes and the anticipation was stirring great desire in this little girl.

When he returned he began to immediately strike my bare behind with an implement that I couldn’t recognize.  In some ways it felt like the cane, as it was unyielding and felt rattan.  He spanked me with this implement several times eliciting my cries and lighting fire to my backside.  He set the implement in front of me and I was dismayed to see the rattan carpet beater.  This is a fierce implement if you have never had the pleasure (I say this facetiously) of suffering under its wrath…

Next, he began to lightly run the leather flogger up and down my legs, letting the leather tease out pleasure.  He paused for a moment and I feared he might return to the carpet beater, but instead, he placed a vibrator underneath me, gently pulsing against my most sensitive pleasure button.  He resumed lightly flogging my thighs and my buttocks.  Switching positions, he began to flog me in such a way that the leather strands wrapped around my bottom and down between my legs…which was quite delicious.  Though I was a bit fearful that he might start striking with more force to that sensitive area…

I began to lose myself in the pleasure when he set the flogger down and began spanking me with his bare hand again.  When he switched to the wooden paddle with holes in it, tears came to my eyes and the pain began to consume me.  Just as suddenly he was back to lightly flogging me, producing the loveliest sensations.

It was then that he picked up the strap.  He tanned my bottom a glorious shade of red before ordering me onto my back.  He moved the vibrator down towards my naughty hole as he began to expertly manipulate my clitoris with his fingers, while sucking on my nipple.  The arousal that had been escalating all morning exploded and I was launched into the abyss…where all that existed was an all-encompassing feeling of pleasure.

I must say, earning this reward was far more satisfying than simply receiving it.  Perhaps I am growing in my submission!

Happy writing, my friends!  Hope life treats you well today 😊

XOXO,

nora

Spectacular pain! #NSFW, 18+

Hello, all!  For my fellow Americans, I hope you celebrated a lovely Labor Day weekend 😊

Ours was spectacular, spectacular!

For those familiar, we spent two nights in beautiful Lake Tahoe and took a cruise on the lake around Emerald Bay.  We experienced a little bit of everything…sun & water, night life, and pure relaxation.  We left Sunday afternoon and were able to sleep in our own bed last night with a full day of relaxation ahead of us.

Our mini-holiday was lovely, but that is not what has me grinning from ear to ear like the Cheshire cat this afternoon!  Let me set the scene…

I was relaxed this morning, enjoying my coffee, reading all of your lovely blogs and catching up on email correspondence from across the pond, when Daddy joined me.  He was wearing nothing but his boxers and a smile, and after a kiss to the forward, he ordered me up and into the kitchen to make his morning hot chocolate.  The tone of his voice gave me shivers and whispered of more to come.

Like the obedient little girl that I can be at times, I happily made his hot chocolate, and was sure to remove all of my clothing as I re-entered the room, setting his hot chocolate on the coaster by the chair.

“Good girl,” he said, giving me “the look”.  The look to which I am referring is the look that speaks of adventures to come…sexy, dark adventures.

I returned to my chair and attempted to focus on my laptop, but he just looked so damn sexy sitting there, puppies at his feet, his bare chest radiating all that is strong and male.

“Yes?” he asked, one eyebrow cocked.

“Are we going to…go to the bedroom this morning, Daddy?” I asked him, desperate for confirmation.

“You will be sucking my cock this morning, young lady, if that is what you are asking,” he said, quite sternly.

This little girl got very wet with this statement.

“Go and prepare yourself and wait for me in the corner,” he said.

I immediately obeyed and spent time cleaning and shaving myself.  If I am asked to “prepare” myself, this typically means that I can expect Daddy to make use of my most naughtiest of holes.  To prepare, I inserted a large jelly phallic shaped toy into my anus, to fully lube myself, and to ensure that I was clean.  Once prepared, I waited in the corner, fully nude, arms clasped behind my back.  I was vibrating with anticipation.  I had been needing this for so long.

When Daddy came in the room, he fisted his hand in my hair and guided me to the bed.

“Stay here,” he ordered.

My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest as I awaited his return.  When he re-entered the room, I saw he held my black leather cuffs and the double ended bolt snap that clipped them together.  It wasn’t long after that I was receiving a very sound hand spanking, standing there in front of the bed.  Daddy then bent me over the bed, holding onto my wrists, resuming the spanking.  I was soon in tears at the intensity of the spanking.  Pulling me back into a standing position, Daddy unclipped my cuffs and ordered me face down onto the bed.  My cuffs were then refastened together, as I rested on my elbows, my pinkened behind on display.  Daddy spread my thighs and returned with the riding crop.  The crop rained down on my bare bottom and thighs, bringing more cries and pleas for leniency.  I had no idea what was coming.

You see, recently I had brought up the cane to Daddy.  We have two of them.  One that is lighter and whippier, and another which is about the width of my Daddy’s thumb.  I fear this cane, but, I had asked Daddy if he might leave marks on me next time he applies it.  We have both noticed previously that I do not mark easily.  I rarely bruise even though Daddy feels that he is quite harsh with me at times. Apparently, he had decided that this was the day he would leave lasting marks of the cane on my backside.

The first stroke made me scream and brought instant tears.  I had no idea it could hurt so much!  The second was delivered a bit lower but was not delivered quite as hard.  A third stroke was placed right in between the first two.  Three sharp strokes of the cane and tears were streaming down my face.

Daddy brought his face down to mine and said, “I do this for us and because I love you” which is something he always reminds me of when he spanks me harshly.

He then set down the cane and resumed with the riding crop.  I was lost somewhere in subspace and didn’t realize he had actually stopped spanking me until I felt him spread my cheeks and insert the medium glass plug.  I tried to be a good girl and relax but ended up pleading for him to stop.  He didn’t, but he did place a vibrator against my clitoris which began a new set of sensations.

That is when my real caning began.  Daddy picked up the thinner cane and began giving me rapid strokes as I rocked back and forth on the vibrator.  I have never been so lost in subspace…the place where pleasure and pain are so intertwined it is impossible to tease them apart.  Well, it was impossible to tell them apart up until the moment Daddy resumed the spanking with the heavier cane.

I am not sure how many he gave me, but each stroke elicited screams and tears.  In between strokes, he reminded me that I was his and his alone.  He continued to draw tears as he drew sharp lines across my naked buttocks and spoke of respect and obedience.

I didn’t realize it was over, until I felt him lay down on the other side of me and unclasp my cuffs.  He pulled me into his arms and spoke the sweetest words to me, as he began to gently stroke my nipple.  The vibrator had fallen away, but the plug was still deep inside my naughty hole.  He advised me that it was to stay there until he was through with me.  What ensued next was a mind-blowing orgasm on my end, elicited by his mouth suckling my breast and his fingers manipulating my pleasure spot.  Not long after, his cock was deep in my throat and it was his turn to experience sheer bliss from his submissive.

The rest of the day was spent lounging by the pool.  I wore a skimpy black tank top and thong panties, to please Daddy with my visible marks.  All in all, this was a fantastic weekend.

I just want to take a moment to thank you for your readership!  And to my friends on the East Coast, please stay safe.  From what I read, this hurricane is no joke.

Love always,

nora

I am his #NSFW, 18+

Yesterday, I received a text from Daddy while I was at work.  This wasn’t the mundane “what should we do for dinner?”, or “don’t forget to pick up such-and-such”…oh no, not a text of the vanilla variety.  This text read, “You’ve been needing a reminder of my dominance over you.  It will happen tonight.”

Needless to say, I immediately felt those special tingles, imagining what such a reminder might entail.

Fast forward through the rest of the day, and Daddy is ordering me to strip right there in the living room.  He then sent me to stand in the corner of our bedroom and wait for him.

He hadn’t given me any special instructions for what I was to think about while standing in said corner, so I allowed my mind to drift.  I’ve recently had cause to reflect on some of our earlier D/s experiences, and I found myself turning these memories over in my mind and drifting into a more submissive mindset.

When he entered the room, he took me by the hand and guided me to our bed.  He ordered me to lay down, face first.  He gave my bottom a small pat when I was in his desired position and left the room.  I lay there, face down, bottom bare and exposed, thighs slightly spread.

I could hear him in our walk-in closet.  That part of me that always needs to be in control, assumed that his show of dominance meant a spanking.  However, when he returned, he held my cuffs and a bottle of lube.  A bit in shock, I audibly whimpered.  Lube is not required for a spanking, and I had been ordered onto my tummy.  That could only mean one thing…

But first, he placed each of the leather cuffs on my wrists and locked them together.  Bending down, he whispered in my ear that he was doing this because he loved me.

He left the room again.

When he returned, I was almost quivering in anticipation (and a little bit of fear).  We have many toys for that particular part of my anatomy, but they have not been used in quite some time.  What did he choose?  Would it hurt?  Was he going to plug me, or fuck me with this toy?

I had my answer shortly.  Out of my peripheral, I saw Daddy pick up the bottle of lube off the dresser.  It felt like eternity that he stood over me.  When his hand began to spread my cheeks, I tried not to tense up…but it didn’t matter….in the stainless steel plug went.

“That’s my good little bunny,” he said.

Inwardly, I shuddered in humiliation…as much as they fascinate me, there is nothing like an animal tail plug to knock someone down a peg or two.

Daddy then began to tell me things.  Things like he loved me, that he would protect me, that I was safe with him.  Things like I am his, that he owns me, that I belong to him.  All of those perfect words that bring out the little girl in me.

And then he picked up the riding crop.

I hadn’t seen the crop yet and it was quite startling the first time he brought it down soundly on my upturned bottom.  There were a few strokes to my bare behind, but then he began to repeatedly strike me right on my sit spot.  He commanded me to repeat the line, “I am Daddy’s little girl” after each stroke.  I’m not sure how long this went on, but the transformation was complete.  I am HIS little girl and he will do with me as he pleases.

Later, he released my cuffs and held me as he stroked my sore backside.  I felt safe.  I felt loved.

Thank you, Daddy ❤

Love, nora

Submissive Positions

Last night was a big step forward in Daddy and I’s re-entry into our D/s dynamic…he decided to teach me a few submissive positions!  As someone fairly new to this concept, I had done minimal research prior to our adventures and discovered that learned positions for the submissive may have several benefits.  Some of these benefits include reminding the submissive of her place, enforcing dominance over the submissive, humiliating/punishing the submissive, helping the submissive learn patience, etc.

In any case, Daddy was reviewing a website that discussed submissive/slave positions, and he found two that he decided to implement.  But first, he sent me to the bedroom to change.  He requested that I return in black lace panties with a matching bra.  I quickly attended to his request, my tummy full of butterflies.  After approving my attire, he then sent me back to the bedroom to fetch both the riding crop and the flogger.

The first position that Daddy taught me was referred to as “kneel and wait”.  This is a basic kneeling position with my arms folded behind my back.  Daddy’s preference is that I be sitting back on my heels, knees together, head down.  He instructed me that I am to always have my eyes open, but my gaze to the floor.  He also told me that when he orders me into this position, I am always to kneel facing him, unless he specifies otherwise. He used the riding crop quite liberally to my bottom to put me in the exact position he wanted, which I learned was pretty painful with my ass cheeks thrust out like this.

The second position that he required me to learn he referred to as “Ready”.  This position requires me to face the wall and bend at the waist with my feet shoulder width apart.  I am to brace myself against the wall with my hands crossed, head down, gaze to the floor.  Daddy said he was calling this position “Ready” as I would be ready to receive punishment or his cock.  He enjoyed using both the flogger and the riding crop while making me hold this position.

Lastly, Daddy ordered me to choose a position that I would like to learn for him.  I asked that he implement the position “inspection” which has me standing feet shoulder width apart, and hands crossed behind my back.  I am to arch my back so that my breasts stand up pretty for him and my ass is out.  Though my head is up, and shoulders are back, my gaze is to be to the floor.

Overall, this was incredibly stimulating for both of us.  Throughout the evening, Daddy would order me into position.  Just thinking about it has my head in that swimmy subspace place….

Thank you for reading!

Happy writing 😊

Love, nora

P.S. Dominance must be in the air as MissusMistress was just blogging about submissive/slave positions this morning!  If you haven’t already, you should go and check out her blog 😊

Further musings on my own submission…

Last week, I got very caught up in the idea of, “Is D/s my real life?”.  This week, after much reflection, I realize that the question in itself is problematic and that I was basically just getting caught up in terminology (the word “real”).  I’ve come to the conclusion that yes, D/s is very real to me, and that it is a part of my “private” life.  Just because most of my friends and family are unaware that my husband and I engage in D/s, does not make it any less real for us…just private.

That’s settled.

But, that got me thinking about a topic that came up while dialoging with Alpha and kat (if you aren’t following them…you should be!).  I realized that the word “submissive” doesn’t ring true for me.  I am not submissive…not naturally, anyway.  In my life outside of my home, I am very much an assertive, go-getter type.  I hold advanced degrees in two areas of study, and am often described by others as a leader.  My friends and family often look to me for advice and help.  I am solid, dependable, and good in almost any situation.

However,… I am submissive to my husband, or at least, I am trying to be.  I desire to submit to him.  I long to be the kneeling, obedient, pliant sub that we both envision me being.  I yearn to give him foot rubs in the evening and to hear him call me his “good girl”.

What is up with that?  Why would a beautiful, intelligent, articulate, worldly woman (yes, tooting my own horn a bit—it’s called self-love!)…want to kneel before her husband and rub his stinky feet? (Okay, they aren’t actually stinky, but I have a flair for the dramatic at times).

Why does a non-submissive woman want to be submissive?

Pondering on this…there are lots of reasons.  I think the biggest reason for me is that I get to give up control.  I don’t have to make decisions, I don’t have to think…I only have to obey.  This is attractive to me as it is much less stressful than being in control. The next biggest reason is what it does for my husband (see how selfish I am!  Shouldn’t my biggest reason to be submissive have to do with the needs of my husband?).  He has told me that it helps him to feel more confident, more in control, and that it charges his sex drive.  Another big reason (for me, again) is that it charges my sex drive!  The idea of being taken-in-hand and disciplined by a strong male figure is such a huge turn on for me!  I am a self-proclaimed spanko and have been for as long as I can remember.

There are some who might say, think back to your childhood…what happened there?  Are you longing for the strong male figure that you never had? Nope.  Sorry folks, I have an awesome father, and I had an awesome mother.  My childhood was incredibly happy.  It wasn’t until my late 20’s that things began to unravel between my parents, and even then, they still showed each other a lot of love and respect.

Others might ask…is it a low self-esteem thing?  Nope, not even close.  I’ve always had high self-esteem, even through those awkward teen years.  It has only been this year, for the first time in my life, I’ve felt a little insecure as I started to experience a skin condition called “rosacea”.  This is really the only thing in my 38 years of life that I have ever felt self-conscious about.

You might be wondering…was she ever abused?  Nope, not that either.

To sum it up…I don’t have Daddy-issues, I don’t have low-self esteem problems, I haven’t suffered abusive relationships…and yet, I long to submit to my husband.  I’ve come to the conclusion that my submission to my husband is an attractive option to me because it benefits both of us in several ways…1) I get to lose control, and he gets to have control, and 2) Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex

It’s all about sex, baby!

Thank you for reading this dribble!  Much appreciated 😊

Love, nora

P.S.  And please don’t think it has escaped my attention that my last post began by stating how I didn’t need to answer the “whys” to these questions…and here I am, pondering away 😊

Considering a D/s contract

I’ll be honest… Daddy and I’s D/s has gone by the wayside.  Don’t get me wrong…we still have kinky play, I still call him Daddy because I love doing so and it feels natural, and we still broach the subject of D/s frequently…but most of our rituals and daily scenes have all but evaporated.  We’ve been loosely practicing domestic discipline, but even that it barely occurring now.

The funny thing is, I haven’t been all that bothered by it.  He’s been super busy.  I’ve been super busy.  We had visitors in and out of the house during the duration of the holiday season.  We brought home two furry puppies who consume much of our time with their training.  We’ve taken several mini-vacations, with our dogs, which were super fun and yet, exhausting as well.  And, I just haven’t been feeling submissive at all.

So, there we were, sitting in front of the television last night, discussing the state of our relationship.  Both of us feeling as if something is missing.  He tells me he thinks we should re-instate our power exchange 24/7.  I was feeling a little resistant…imagining all of the work that goes into submitting to him properly, on top of resuming teaching at the University and starting a new therapy job this summer.  We agreed to both think about it and I believe we will converse about it later tonight.

I spent a good deal of the morning considering if I have the desire, the inclination, and the time to fully submit to my husband’s authority.  I remember how loved and cherished I felt when we were fully immersed in D/s.  I remember how none of the past hurts we have experienced hurt during that time, how all of the old resentments faded away.  I remember vividly the adrenaline rush of trying new things in the bedroom and the thrill of being fully at his mercy.  All of that sounds positively seductive, and yet, I find myself still feeling a bit resistant to the idea of becoming my husband’s submissive again, and I think I know why.

My husband put a lot of work into becoming my Dominant.  He not only showed me love and compassion as a leader, but he also was consistent in making sure that I followed the rules and showed him respect at all times.  He stepped way out of his own comfort zone to make my fantasies come true.  He learned to discipline me harshly enough for the spanking to be a true punishment and this is not an easy feat for someone who loves you and is not a sadist.  He does not enjoy inflicting pain upon me, and yet, he did so…for me.  And yet, somehow, for me…it still isn’t enough.

I think what I am looking for is for him to dominate me for him, not for me.  I want him to inflict his will upon me because he truly wants to do so…because it brings him satisfaction, makes him feel powerful, builds his confidence in his role in our marriage.  I want him to fuck me senseless, not because he enjoys bringing me pleasure…but because he is fulfilling his own fantasies and dark desires.

What I am longing for may not even be possible and I know that.  Only he can want those things for himself.  But, I plan on communicating these ideas to him tonight during our discussion.  If he truly desires my submission, I truly want to give it to him.  But I can’t give it to him because he is trying to make my desires and fantasies come true…that’s just not real enough for me.

So…wish me luck tonight!  No matter the outcome, Daddy and I will always have each other, and I feel incredibly blessed in that.  I am also planning on suggesting a D/s contract, which is something that we have not previously created.  I think that by asking Daddy to create a contract for us, with as much or as little of my help as he desires, it will give us both a better idea of his expectations and wants for our D/s.  If you have been through the process of creating a D/s contract and wish to share any pointers, I would be incredibly grateful.

Thank you for reading my friends and happy writing 🙂

Love, nora