Hello, my kinky friends,
Hold on to your hats, because I am about to get deeply serious with you. This is about as real as it gets.
I was brought up with the same fairy tale fed to most people of my generation… boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, boy and girl get married…The End. Tied up nicely with a big red bow. Only, as anyone who has actually been married knows…the wedding is not the end of the story, in fact, it is only the beginning of the craziest freakin’ ride of your life.
I love my husband and am grateful to be married to him. After nearly 20 years together, I still enjoy his company more than any other person’s. He is my best friend, my other half. He is like a limb…without him, I would feel incomplete. Daddy and I have managed to grow together over the last two decades, rather than grow apart as so many do and that is a beautiful thing. We’ve had some pretty dark times, but most of our years together have been good ones.
Daddy and I are comfortable together. We fit like an old glove and there is a lot of security in that. I know that he would never intentionally hurt me, and I know he would never leave me. If one day, we decide to end this marriage it would be because he and I made that choice together. Sexy, right? But this isn’t a fairy tale…this is real life. A real life that together we have built, brick by brick. We have a true commitment between us. Unconditional love and all that.
Daddy and I have had some pretty amazing times. We had a great run with D/s a few years back which made us both feel alive again. Unfortunately, it wasn’t something we could make work long term, just in short bursts…but damn, it sure was fun while we were trying. We had the BEST sex during that time.
Speaking of D/s, it turns out that is a need for me, not a want. Daddy understands this and he wants me to have everything that I need. He has been very generous in allowing me to have a D/s dynamic with Sir. And, if you are wondering, Daddy and I have had many conversations about Daddy’s unfulfilled needs/wants as well.
To paint a clearer picture of the two of us, I will share that Daddy and I are night and day in many ways. While I am a serious, quiet, intense person… Daddy is lighthearted, playful, and social. While I can often be found with my nose stuck in a book or writing in my journal, Daddy prefers watching movies or sports. While I need rules, structure, and organization… Daddy is more of a “fuck the rules” person. Give him a rule and he is bound to break it. He prefers spontaneity. While I am a deeply sexual person and need sex almost daily, Daddy is more of a once-a-week kinda guy. While we may be different in many ways, we also fit together well. Opposites attract, as they say.
But we have come to realize that we each have needs that the other is not filling…and, I think we are both okay with this. I am not sure it is realistic to believe that one person can meet all of my needs. Neither of us feel that the grass is greener elsewhere…it is just different grass, with different advantages and disadvantages. We are watering our own grass plenty with lots of open and honest communication. So…where am I going with this?
Daddy has a female friend. They have been communicating for several weeks and have seen each other in person on a handful of occasions. She is interested in getting to know me, and vice versa. But my friends…this feels so strange sometimes! I think I am handling it well, but every once in awhile it throws me for a loop. For example, the other day…they had a five-hour phone conversation. This reminded me of when I met Daddy and we couldn’t get enough of each other. God, those were good times. It reminds me of Sir and I now…how we often email and talk on the phone throughout the day because it is just that damn exciting talking to someone new with whom you share a connection. Beginnings are always the best. But seeing your partner having a beginning with someone else…man, this polyamory stuff ain’t for the faint of heart. You’ve got to be tough to handle this shit (pardon my French, but I was trying to make a point). And it makes me admire Daddy so much for how gracefully he has handled the last eleven months, as I grew closer to Sir.
Will I be capable of handling this with such grace?
In any case… I guess I just needed to open the door on this conversation here in this space. I am sure there will be times that I will need somewhere to vent frustrations and times I will want to celebrate all the love that is flowing. Daddy and I continue to travel this crazy road together, and we are both exploring other connections along the way. Maybe it will blow up in our faces, or maybe it will lead to an even deeper, more meaningful connection. I guess time will tell. What I do know is that it feels GOOD to be really living our lives, and not just existing. I don’t have to hide parts of myself anymore, and neither does Daddy.
Hope that was real enough…another glimpse into my heart 😊