I’ve been thinking about my kink a lot these days (funny, I just looked up the word “kink” in the dictionary, and it states, “bizarre or unconventional sexual preferences or behavior”…which made me giggle 😊 ). I think interactions with various readers and fellow bloggers has prompted this pondering. Often, adult spanking is talked about in the context of mutual fun with a partner or as a sexy preclude to intercourse. There are many people out there who enjoy a good spanking just for the sake of having one. I know that some even go out of their way to be a bit sassy to “earn” a spanking, in a playful way (funishments, anyone?). And while I LOVE reading about these sexy adventures, I can say that I have come to realize this just doesn’t describe my kink.
I have shared with some of you in the past how I overheard a spanking when I was 7 or 8 years old. I was at a friend’s house, and we were misbehaving (jumping on the bed, playing loudly, etc.). His mother warned us to settle down several times (she was on a long-distance call, and we were being disruptive). The third time she came in, she took him out of the room. I knew he was in trouble, but I really didn’t know about spanking at that age, as my parents didn’t use it (while it was threatened on occasion, my siblings and I didn’t get actual spankings…maybe just a single swat). In any case, that day…my friend had his bottom paddled. I clearly heard his cries and the sound of the paddle landing, and thirty years later… I can still hear those sounds in my mind. While he and I didn’t discuss it that day, one of the next times that I was visiting, he showed me the family paddle. He was very embarrassed. We still didn’t discuss spanking, but I think it was his way of acknowledging that I heard his punishment.
From that moment on, I fantasized about discipline spankings. Over the course of the next thirty years, most dominant males in my life were subject to these sorts of fantasies in my mind…boyfriends, professors, bosses… By the age of ten, I was drawing spanking comics (and destroying them so no one would find them), and by the age of fifteen, I had written a little love story that included a spanking of a girl by her boyfriend’s father. LOL…I guess this explains the repetitive Daddy theme in my spanking fiction 😊
I always believed that my kink was spanking, and don’t get me wrong…spanking is definitely a part of it. But for me… the real kink or fetish is about being held accountable to a dominant man. Having that person decide what constitutes misbehavior and him taking it upon himself to discipline me (through spanking) when I act as anything less than my best self. I know, I know…the feminist in you is cringing and I get this makes me sound rather old-fashioned. But the truth is, I have very high expectations for myself…and sometimes I mess up. I forget to take my vitamins or fail to get in all five workouts during the week, or even miss a deadline at work. And having someone who is paying attention and who wants me to do my very best, and who is willing to discipline me when I fail to live up to these high standards…well hot damn, THAT is my kink.
To illustrate this point, I will share a little experience with Sir from this morning (we were on the phone). We were having our morning chat and I said something that I felt didn’t come out quite right. After I said it, I followed up with something like, “that was dumb of me to say”. Sir responded to this in the most beautiful, stern way. First, he asked if I had my paddle with me (I am required to bring the paddle to our morning discussions in case he needs to apply on-the-spot discipline). Thankfully, I remembered to bring it! He calmly told me to stand up and asked me what I was wearing. I told him, and he said that he wanted my pajama bottoms at my knees (I guess I should mention that I was not wearing panties). I obeyed him. He then gave me a long talking to about one of his earliest Rules for me… no negative self-talk. It is very important to Sir that I always speak about myself in a positive way. He told me how much he believes in me, complimented my intelligence and my ambition, AND said that he views negative self-talk as a misbehavior. He then Directed me through a Spanking to my bare bottom with the paddle. By the time I was allowed to sit back down again, my bottom was hot and sore, and I was left with a good reminder to always speak positively about myself…which is a GREAT thing for me to be learning.
When reflecting on my fantasies of my youth…they often included angry male figures. But Sir has rewritten that in me. He never gets angry with me (he was irritated with me once though and he did Spank me on a later occasion—I assure you, it was well-deserved), and he doesn’t tell me he’s disappointed in me. I now see how loving discipline can be, how it can be applied both firmly AND patiently, and how every time Sir finds a reason to Spank me…it is always done in a caring way. Don’t get me wrong…he is VERY strict with me. He doesn’t allow me to get away with anything. While he will often discuss my misbehavior with me first (he is VERY fair and won’t punish me if he feels I had a good reason as to why I did something) he holds me to very high standards…and I need this. I am so grateful for this.
So…there you have it. I could have just left it as… I am “into” discipline spanking, but I felt this warranted a bit more explanation. Having a strict man hold me accountable to high standards REALLY gets my motor going and having my panties taken down for a discipline spanking is my greatest fantasy (and now my reality 😊). With this in mind, I also work very hard to hear those three little magical words… “good girl, nora”. I don’t misbehave on purpose, and I am honest with Sir when I break one of my Rules.
I would love to hear more about your kinky interests in spanking, my naughty friends! Much love on this beautiful day.