Hello, my friends!
I cannot tell you how much it meant to me that so many of you read my Life Update- Part 1 post. There was so much traffic to my page yesterday that WordPress sent me a message to check things out. I immediately logged in to make sure I hadn’t uploaded a nude pic of myself or something…thankfully, I hadn’t 😊. So I want to start this post by just telling all of you how grateful I am for your readership. Blogging about my naughty adventures has been an incredibly rewarding experience for me. Not only do I have a space where it is totally okay to talk about over-the-knee spankings and early morning sex adventures with Daddy, but I have found a community of kink-friendly people who also love to read and write and keep life in the bedroom sizzlin’ hot.
So, where was I? Oh, that’s right… I promised to talk about my sexual submission to Sir. Patience, my kinky friends. Let me back up and just write a bit more about the positive changes in my life.
One of the most important things to mention is that I gave alcohol the boot. To be honest, I don’t miss it. It was really hard at first, but now…alcohol is not a part of my life anymore. This change has really helped me heal from my grief because I finally had to experience the pain in a sober state…and face it head on. Alcohol enabled me to numb my difficult feelings for many years…but it didn’t allow me to heal. Now, I have faced many of the anniversaries and birthdays that used to send me into an emotional tailspin…and my grief is softer. Don’t get me wrong. The losses I have suffered still hurt, but I have accepted them now. Giving up the booze was key to this process.
I am also learning to love myself again. That has been a difficult road for me and like many, I’ve struggled with insecurities and a bit of self-loathing. I have done lots of things in my life that I regret (including cheating on Daddy early in our marriage). But I’ve done a lot of work on myself this last year and I can tell you that I am calmer, more patient, and more in touch and in control of my own emotions. I am also learning to love my body again. This may sound strange…but the other evening, while Daddy was out of town, I took my lighted magnifier mirror and I studied myself…down there! I looked at my folds, the delicate skin around my clitoris, the rosebud of my anus…and while these thoughts that I am about to share were rather foreign to me… I came to the realization that my lady bits are beautiful and not something to be ashamed of. I mean, I’m not going to walk down the street flashing my vagina to just anyone… but I am proud of how I look. I am beautiful. I’m imperfect, but I am beautiful.
I cannot ignore the two biggest influences on my journey this year. I know you’ve heard a lot about Daddy and my unconditional love for that man. We have been through so much together and I know that he will always have my back, no matter what happens. He is my best friend, the person that I want to tell things first to, and my lover. Daddy and I have grown up together. I’ve spent about half of my life with him and most of those years have been GREAT years. We still laugh together, he is my home, and his presence is reassuring that no matter what happens…everything will be okay.
And there is another influence in my life. Over this last year, Sir has become a strong force in my daily life. He pushes me to be better and he’s introduced me to so many new things. Some might find this silly, but Sir is in control of my reading list (my reading for pleasure list). He assigns me all kinds of books that I would never have picked up on my own…and most of them I have loved! He is also teaching me a lot about different genres of music as he sends me a song to listen to each week. I listen to the song a bunch of times and research the artist/group and send him a quick write up. He also assigns me political articles to read, and I do subsequent research and write up reports on these topics. This is something we do about twice per month. Sir is also in charge of my daily To-Do list and is privy to exactly what I am doing with my time and what I am accomplishing. He makes time in his schedule for me each and every day and I can’t tell you how special that makes me feel.
As I mentioned in my last post… Daddy got to a place where he felt comfortable enough to allow me to offer my sexual submission to Sir. How did he get to that place? Well, he and I talked about things A LOT. We had the difficult conversations. And in addition to this, Sir has been amazing about adhering to every boundary that Daddy ever put in place. Not once did Sir ever push me to do something that might hurt my marriage or put me in a bad spot with Daddy. As you all know, Sir and I are long-distance… so I am not actually engaged in physical sex with him. But he has slowly incorporated sexual submission into our Dynamic (with Daddy’s permission). There are days where he denies me physical release…he forbids me to climax, though he may instruct me to edge myself multiple times. Now, for a girl who masturbates 1-2 times per day, this kind of self-control isn’t easy! But I know it brings Sir great pleasure to be able to exert this kind of control over me. It’s not just that though. Sir knows that most of the things he asks me to do bring me great joy (adhering to my To-Do list, reading his books, dressing in the clothes he selects, etc.). I can honestly say that I don’t like sexual denial… not one little bit. Sexual denial is not fun for me, and some days it is really really hard. But I obey him…and in that, I am truly submitting to him as it is not something I want to do.
On occasion, Sir will instruct me to play with certain toys (visit this post if you’d like to see my toy chest) and he is a big fan of anal plugs as he sees a noticeable difference in my level of submission when I am wearing one. But I think that Sir is most interested in my obedience to him, whether it be a sexual activity or not. I have often written about how discipline and accountability are my greatest kinks, and I feel that Sir would say the same. He and I are in complete agreement that regular spankings have a positive impact on my behavior, my attitude, and my mood.
So that’s about it for my life update, my kinky friends. Daddy and I are planning a fun vacation this winter (I am hoping to incorporate something kinky into this trip…a BDSM club or something similar) and I am happy about the changing seasons. Fall is my favorite time of year… the cooler weather, the beautiful colors, the holidays. I am looking forward to making new memories with the special men in my life, and I plan to spend a lot of time practicing gratitude (a good place for a girl to do this is on her knees, wouldn’t you agree? 😉).
Be well, be happy, and get your kink on!