Hello, my dear readers,
I know it has been quite some time since I have updated you on the inner workings of my kinky life (and I probably deserve a good spanking for that 😊). This entire year has been a bit of a blur. I feel like I blinked and—poof— it’s suddenly September. And while I haven’t been writing about my personal life as much, I promise you it is for a good reason… I’ve just been busy living a GREAT life.
Don’t get me wrong…there are still daily stressors, misunderstandings, etc., but overall, this has been a very good year for me. There were many times over the last few years (after dealing with infidelity, grief and loss, major life transitions, etc.) when I wondered if I would ever feel happy again. I suffered some serious depression, treated my body poorly and drank way too much, and lived in a constant state of teary-eyed existence. But I am so grateful to be able to tell you today that… I am happy.
There was a moment, during the pandemic (it was summer of 2020) where I realized that I had to make a change. I had let myself gain some weight, I wasn’t working out, and I was drinking like a fish. And I realized that if I kept going on like I was, that I was just slowly killing myself. At that time, I made a huge change to my diet, and I tried to get my drinking under control. I started working out regularly again and it felt great. It also boosted my mood. I started working through some very helpful self-help books (the best was The Warrior Heart Practice).
Some of the hurts began to heal between Daddy and me. Some of the healing happened because he started to work on himself and explore his own feelings around his infidelity, and part of the healing came from me making positive changes in my own life. But we did the hard work and we managed to stick it out. And I can honestly tell you… five years after his affair, our marriage is better than ever.
Daddy and I have more honest conversations now. We are able to say the hard things to each other and talk about what our actual wants/needs are without being afraid. After years of Daddy and I trying to incorporate D/s and DD into our lives, we were both able to see how Daddy is just not equipped to give that to me (at least, not at this point in our lives). As you all know, that led to Daddy and I opening up our marriage a bit, and I met my Sir in December of 2020.
A lot of positive things have happened since I met Sir. Most importantly, I am Sir’s submissive, and Sir is giving me an incredible D/s experience. Sir and I may be long-distance, but he works very hard to make this a real and vivid experience for both of us, and he succeeds. I submit to him in a variety of ways, and in turn, he exerts much control over my daily activities. Sir is consistent, he continuously gives me new and unexpected experiences, and he does not allow me to top from the bottom. He is also very strict with me and holds high expectations around what I do with myself. He, and this experience, have changed me in so many positive ways.
And those changes have bled over into my marriage. I am more relaxed, and I am softer toward Daddy. I am much more in control of my temper, and more aware of my critical nature. It has also helped me to forgive Daddy of the past and allow myself to heal from those hurts. My husband has been incredibly generous in allowing me to submit to Sir, and in allowing my dynamic with him to grow. While our D/s was pretty constricted at first, my husband has grown comfortable enough to allow me to explore the sexual side of submission with Sir (which I will write about in Part 2 of this update).
So…that’s it for now, but I promise to write the rest of this update tomorrow. I know, I know…just when I get to the kinky stuff….