More kinky reading notes- Real Service cont.

Hello, my kinky friends!

I haven’t written about Sir in some time, but I wanted to share that our D/s Dynamic is alive and well.  I am writing this post in service to him this evening.  You see, when Daddy is working out of town during the week (which is dreadfully hard for me… I miss you, Daddy ❤ ), Sir often exerts further control over my world.  While he typically only dominates me during the day, though my Rules are in place 24/7, he will often give additional directives if I am on my own for the evening.  Tonight, he gave me a bedtime, assigned me a documentary to watch, and requested that I do some reading and note taking.

I have to admit, I was embarrassed when Sir asked me today if I had finished reading Real Service.  I had forgotten all about the book (I had tucked it out of sight a few weeks ago when we had family stay over).  Sir wasn’t upset with me over this, but he did assign me some evening reading.  In obedience to him, I am sharing my notes with all of you.

I should note that this book is written toward the Master/slave dynamic.  On occasion the authors use the terms Dominant, submissive, and s-types.  You will note that I often write my notes as “Doms” and “submissives” as this is what is most relevant to my dynamic.  But should you happen to pick up this book, I wanted you all to be aware that is geared toward service slaves. 

I hope you enjoy these notes!  This has been a GREAT learning experience for me.

XOXO,

nora 

Chapter 12- Gender and Service

This chapter provides a thoughtful discussion of traditional gender roles, how these might be problematic depending on your dynamic, and how Masters might challenge their submissives to operate outside of their comfort zone. I love the idea of male submissives learning to give pedicures and foot massages!  And, no reason why a female submissive can’t wash and gas up your vehicle 😊

Chapter 13-Qualities of a Good Master

This chapter is written toward new Doms seeking to cultivate qualities of leadership AND toward submissives who wonder what they should look for in a Dominant.  I LOVED this chapter.  It made me happy to think of my Sir as I read this chapter and think check, check, check… as my Sir is an incredibly thoughtful and supportive leader in our Dynamic.  While this chapter discusses a lot of qualities of an effective Dominant or Master, I will just sum up the five qualities that I see as most important.

Impeccable honor– he lives by a high set of standards, he is truthful, he is someone that others look up to, and he recognizes his own flaws and seeks self-improvement.

Sound Judgement– his judgement is sound.  He makes better choices than most.  He is not paralyzed by unpleasant or difficult decisions.  He can articulate good reasons for the decisions he makes or imposes on others.   

Responsibility– he takes responsibility for his words and actions, thinking both short-term and long-term.

Steady– he lives his life in good order and avoids drama.  He does not invite turmoil into his life. He controls his temper and is aware of his emotions. 

Reliable– he is consistent.  If he says he will do something, you can trust that he will make every effort to do so.   

 

Chapter 14- Qualities of a Good Servant

There was a thoughtful discussion about submissives presented at the beginning of this chapter.  I like how the authors dispelled the myth that submissives aren’t or can’t become mature, self-disciplined adults capable of great achievements.  The following qualities are presented as ones helpful for those in service to a Dom or Master.  Like the previous chapter, I will just summarize the five that I see as most important.

Being helpful– she enjoys being helpful and useful to other people.  She desires to make their lives easier through her service.

Motivated to do well– she takes pride in her work and strives to do a good job, regardless of the task.

Balanced– while she does take time for self-care, she would rather be doing something (working) than sitting around doing nothing.  She is motivated to work and to please. 

Obedient– she has a sense of honor and will strive to do the right thing, even if it is unpleasant for her.  She obeys, not out of fear, but out of commitment. 

Open communication– she can clearly and respectfully communicate any difficulties and concerns regarding her Dom’s orders. 

PS…would love to hear your thoughts! XOXO

14 thoughts on “More kinky reading notes- Real Service cont.

Add yours

  1. I love that you said that you put the book down while family was there. There’s been no time for this girl to free read since my family has evacuated to my house. I also loved that you mention that submissive can be mature adults capable of success. (*gasp* the audacity) we just like a little guidance in our lives. I personally liked to be able to turn off the successful badass and become a sweet little girl who was loved and cared for.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel the same way, Grace! I am perfectly capable of running my life and am proud of my accomplishments. With that said…it is so nice to be able to relinquish that control, to stop making all the decisions, and to defer and obey a strong man😘
      How did the date go?

      Like

  2. Nora, it’s good to see that Sir is taking good care of you while Daddy is away.

    I don’t know much about the Master/slave dynamic, but it looks like some good thoughts there. We should all strive for honorable, judicious, responsible, poised, reliable, generous, conscientious, motivated, open and honest on either side of the slash. Within these power exchange roles we assume, though, Masters, Doms and Daddies do the teaching. And on foot care and massages, my wife loves it, but we don’t see it in terms of gender and service. Hey, come to think of it, she washes and gases cars, as well! She may be more butch than I thought. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It really is a combined effort, Franz! My husband shows me a lot of love and support, even from a distance. He really hates having to work away from home so much right now, but unfortunately, many people in his industry have quite during the pandemic and he is picking up the slack. Sir and I are always long-distance, and he has figured out lots of ways to provide me extra structure and guidance when I am on my own. I am so freakin’ blessed to have both of these amazing connections in my life. Your comment about your wife made me laugh… I guess I am a bit “butch” as well, as I can be found splitting firewood in the winter and assisting in construction projects around our property, LOL. As always, thank you for reading! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. While I have never lived in a strict D/s lifestyle relationship I do like and respond well to a lot of the qualities that you have listed here. I think the closest I have ever come to being in a D/s relationship was with Tom in our early years, that was when all the drama and tension disappeared from my life because he shouldered the responsibility for making sure our lives were kept on an even keel. He looked after my mental health so well in those early years I attribute my good mental health and strength now, to him and his dedication then. I can completely understand how you need this in your life in order to feel complete. Your Daddy is your love, whole and all encompassing and also your disciplined authority, but Sir is your discipline and answering to him has made you much more aware of your own self care and mental wellness. I am very interested in your journey with both Daddy and Sir, you are managing to strike just the right balance and I know Daddy’s approval of your situation is the reason everything is working so well. Long may it continue!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for this, Gemma! I am actually quite proud of the connection that I have built with Sir, with Daddy’s approval. My husband has really opened himself up and has shown me so much trust. We check in about my connection with Sir often and my husband no longer shies away from the difficult conversations. In many ways, it has made my husband and I closer. What you wrote about Tom in your early years together… I feel that way about Sir. He really looks after me, especially my mental and emotional state. While I know that he gets a lot of satisfaction from exerting control over my world, I can see the benefit to myself in every single thing that he does…he always has my best interests in mind. I really wish that I could write more about my journey with Sir, but he is a very private man. Even with this all being anonymous, he prefers me to share minimally about our dynamic. I, on the other hand, want to share everything as I think that long-distance dynamics like this could really benefit a lot of married people who are married to more vanilla partners (I hate to say that Daddy is vanilla because he has been so open to trying things with me, but he just doesn’t need the kink like I do). In any case, thank you for your continued support! I feel incredibly blessed. I hope all is well. I am so glad to see you back in this space ❤ XOXO

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your support, Miss D! He doesn’t wish me to write about our Dynamic often and I do my best to obey him in this, but we have a very special connection. I have been submitting to him for about nine months and he is very good at keeping things new and exciting. Thank you for reading 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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