Mantras & Self-growth

Hello, my kinky friends~

Some time ago, I had a very special mantra that was written for me by special friends.  When they went out of my life, I tossed the mantra out too (in this case, the baby did need to be thrown out with the bath water).  Eight months later, I find myself ready for a new mantra.  Only this time, I want to write it myself. 

So, what exactly is a mantra?  According to Mantras Made Easy (yes, I bought a book on Mantras… I am such a book nerd😊), mantras are “words, syllables, or phrases you repeat to help you connect and feel the energy within you and around you”.  Mantras are intended to provide you support, inspiration, and motivation.  A mantra may fill you with a peaceful feeling or provide you with a burst of energy. 

One thing I learned from this easy read was that what makes a mantra effective is not so much the words themselves (though words ARE very powerful) but the relationship one develops to the mantra.  To build a relationship with my mantra, I need to practice saying it every day.  I might consider the tone I use, my use of pauses, voice inflections, and my use of energy.  The mantra will only be effective IF I believe in what I am saying.

It is also recommended that mantras be written in present tense.  So…avoid “I will be…” and state, “I am” to indicate you are already in this state of being. Sherianna Boyle, author of Mantras Made Easy, also warns of being too “flowery” with use of language or being too concerned with rhyming.  She recommends focusing on communicating with one’s subconscious mind and the universe instead. The rest of this book is chalk full of mantras, organized into various categories.  These categories include mantras for: happiness, overcoming fear and anxiety, love, forgiveness and acceptance, healing, protection, wealth and prosperity, peace, and new beginnings.  There is also a chapter on sacred mantras. 

So…what I want to focus on is thinking before I speak.  Lately, I have realized that I can be an overly critical person (stop rolling your eyes, Daddy!).  I have never really thought of myself this way so I will be honest, when I realized it… it hurt me deeply.  The way I have always thought of it before was that I speak what I know to be true.  Well, I guess it is good that I don’t blurt out things that I am not feeling… but needing to always say what I am thinking, true or not, is NOT a good communication behavior. 

After doing a quick Google search on “thinking before you speak”, an image popped up.  There is a clever acronym for “Think”.

I’ve always thought…well, it if is true…I can go ahead and say it.  But some of these other ideas really gave me pause.  Is it helpful?  Is it inspiring?  Is it necessary?  Is it kind?  And to be honest…often, the answers to these questions are a big fat NO.  I genuinely want to correct this in myself.  I think it will be very helpful in my marriage, and I think it will be beneficial in my submission to Sir.  Also, in general… I think this is a good area of self-growth for me to focus on.   

The book offers a few different mantras that align with my goal.

1.  I am mindful of my tone, speech, and actions.

2. I have released all negative patterns, conditions, and restrictions on love.

3. I have the energy and strength to create new behaviors and patterns.

4. My heart is beating with peace and love.

5. My breath is deep, my eyes are soft, I am at peace.

None of these are exactly right, but numbers 1,4, 5 are my favorite.  Okay, here goes my attempt at writing my own mantras.

1. My breath is deep, my words are soft, my heart is full of submission.

2. I am mindful of my tone, my words, and my intent. 

What do you think?  I am totally open to suggestions…do you have any?  And…would you like me to list a mantra for you from the book (just choose from one of the categories listed above) and I will respond to you in the comments.

Thank you for reading my not-so-kinky post, my friends.  This is me…striving to do better.



47 thoughts on “Mantras & Self-growth

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  1. Nora.. I’m still filling u even though I have been silent.. 🙂 things having been going so great for me.. but my mantra for over a year has been two things .. everyone will find this comical but it’s true first I say everything is going to be ok. Next I sing or him the Dora the explorer .. u know do do do to do Dora .. Dora the explorer .. bc life is only an exploration of your inner self.. always learning.. growing.. I know sounds insane but it’s my mantra and thank u Nora even though ur not aware of it u are a big part in my life xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hello, my friend! I am so glad to hear from you…it has been a while and I wondered what you were up to. I am so glad to hear that life is going great, that is FABULOUS news. I LOVE your mantras. The book that I read absolutely recommended a mantra like “Everything is okay”. I love that you use Dora the Explorer…that really speaks to my inner child. Thank you for the kind comment, saraann…so glad to hear from you ❤

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Well, I hope you will share if you write one. I like the two that I proposed, but my Sir isn’t wild about them. He and I are differing in perspective; a broader intent versus a more specific one. So, I am still working on mine 🙂

          Liked by 2 people

  2. Nora, this is a very beautiful saying, very full of feeling, and right to the point. I think it’ll certainly help. There’s a very old saying, “Speak the sweet truth.” Meaning: be truthful, but only if that truth helps those who hear it (and the one who says it, too!)

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Interesting, nora. I don’t know much about mantras, but thinking before we speak (or write) seems especially topical these days, in personal or broader social terms.
    Is it True? Opinion is better than fact. I see many championing the idea that sharing one’s honest unfiltered opinion is a virtue in and of itself.
    Is it helpful? It may only help someone express their feelings, but what could be more important?
    Is it Inspiring? It can inspire hatred, division and mistrust, but that’s often not just a slip of the tongue.
    Is it Necessary? We need to speak to show that we are free.
    Is it Kind? Kindness is PC. It’s disingenuous. Brutal honesty is kindness.

    I think your study of mantras will be valuable. I’m impressed that you are always reaching higher. I wish more people who really do need to think before they speak were as conscientious as you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for this thoughtful response, Franz! While I do much better using the THINK acronym out in the world and at work, with Daddy I tend to just say everything that I think…unfiltered. I don’t want to be the wife with the sharp tongue, the wife who is overly critical. My husband, and my Sir, deserve my best self. I am really hoping that the use of this mantra will start moving me in the right direction. As always…thank you for your support. Your words mean a lot to this girl ❤

      Liked by 2 people

      1. It’s different with a life long partner. Though I was never critical of my wife, I had to learn over the years not to be as contradictory. I often see the other side of an issue, and it could make her feel as if I was too argumentative and didn’t respect her opinion. It wasn’t disrespect, but taking her for granted. Maybe I would have changed faster if I’d had a mantra — like “I am mindful of my words and intent, now shut the #$%& up!” 🙂 I grew up in a family where argument flowed easily, but I don’t exhibit that tendency with other people, where I’m much more likely to keep my thoughts to myself, or at least I’m not quick to contradict. XO.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Hmmmm…. I am probably guilty of this too, Franz…being too contradictory. Daddy has pointed this out before, and he’s also pointed out that if he is too contradictory with me, that I get upset. Sighs. Marriage is a continuously evolving and learning experience. I love how much you’ve been sharing of yourself lately… I hope you will keep that up! I am really enjoying getting to know you, my friend 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Nora those seem to be a great distillation of your current path. I like the anagram Think.

    For me I need to remember this:
    Why did I/they do that?
    Will what I’m about to do build or tear down?
    What impact will this have?
    Who does this serve?
    Does that service reflect what and where I want to be.

    And that’s as a Dom, partner, and coworker.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi David! Thank you for sharing these thoughts and I really appreciate your words of support. I always love to hear the perspective of a Dom. I really like your question: who does this serve? I imagine as a Dom that it is sometimes hard to balance what you want for your submissive versus what you want in order to meet your own needs for power/control/etc. Great list of questions 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. It is not hard to balance what I want vs what I want for my sub. Since our partnership is of mutual respect and support. It is a fluid dynamic. What works well is that what I want is often what she needs. If I listen to the bond and my own desires they will resonate with hers.
        If the bond is broken or weak we both need to be talking to make it right.
        So if it’s been quiet on the drives to work or too much time on the electronics then it’s time for a date, a conversation about our past or our future. But we have to connect. It’s all a question of balance.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. These mantras are great. You’ve never met me obviously. But you’ve probably picked up that I love to talk. I used to never talk because I thought that no one cared about what I had to say. Then I started doing questionable things (substances, alcohol) which made me super social. And now In sobriety I talk a lot. I’ve embraced my need for verbal communication. Heck it’s how I landed my first date since I got married. I’m glad that these mantras bring you joy!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Grace Marie! As you are always communicative with me here, I would have imagined that you were always a social person (the impressions we get of people solely from on-line interactions can be misleading sometimes!). So…about that date…have you gone out with them yet? Naughty minds want to know!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Naughty minds will just have to wait. (Hehe that made me feel so dominating and powerful) We’re going to dinner on Saturday. And on Saturday naughty minds will get each and every salacious (or not salacious) detail. Also totally off topic but I just bought Julie Delmar from the strictjuliespanks blog’s female submission fiction book. So far it is delicious 10/10 a must read.

        Liked by 2 people

  6. Como mi inglés no es muy espero que el traductor de inglés haga una buena traducción.

    I have also used mantras for a long time. The one I use today is very simple “Calm my mind and breathe …” It is something like my defense for when I get neurotic. And it works for me. Thanks for sharing such a wonderful post.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I love that THINK acronym! Wonderful—now if only I could use it regularly. lol Good luck with with developing your new mantra. I’m with your daddy about your first tries though… lol

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Even though I don’t have a mantra, I do believe in reinforcing ourselves in a positive way. It’s so bad if we constantly bring ourselves down, and others with us. I love that you have a book on mantra’s!
    ~ Marie xox

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I like the THINK acronym. I have used the WAIT acronym – Why Am I Talking. And it has helped me either not say something I regret or say something more useful or be a better listener.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hi there nora, though I mainly come visiting for your exquisie naughty stories, I really liked this post. My newfound mantra is ‘I have eveything I could wish for’. Need to learn to appreciate what I have. Kind regards and good wishes

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello, Scandi! It is always great to hear from one of my readers, and I promise, more naughty stories are on the way. I LOVE your mantra. That is a very good reminder to be grateful for what we have. Much love to you! XOXO


  11. I will buy this book. My grandfather was wise. He told me often. Slow down, think than speak. I do meditate to find sleep. Hello dear Nora and thank you for sharing the book and your amazing thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

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