Failure

Today, I failed to meet a goal I had set for myself.  Failure doesn’t feel very good, in fact… I feel awful right now.  I am in tears and feeling so much pressure.  In reflection, I know that I could have worked harder at this.  There has been quite a bit going on lately…scary things, hard things, challenging things… but that’s really no excuse.  I failed to prioritize this goal, this commitment, and now…instead of being done with it, it continues to loom over me. 

I need to do better and be more self-disciplined.  But right now… I feel like I am falling apart.  Everything just feels really hard.  Daddy has been gone so much lately and conditions in CA have been less than ideal for weeks (extreme temperatures, smokey).  But it’s more than that…this project is stretching me, pushing me in ways that I never thought possible.  I am so close and yet… it feels unattainable.  I feel like a fraud, like a wannabe. 

I don’t want to give up, I can’t give up… I have come way too far for that.  I know that I can do this. 

I’m guessing that many of you have felt this way at times.  Don’t give up my friends.  Moving forward is the only way. The sun WILL shine on your life again…the storm WILL pass. 

The song below is one that came to me randomly, many years ago (back in the MySpace days!).  It just feels fitting today. Many of our problems are illusions…and I know that in this case, my biggest obstacle is myself.

I also want to send out a big thank you to everyone who reads this post.  I appreciate you all so much.  In some of the darkest days of my life, people from this community have reached out and shown me compassion and empathy. I don’t take that for granted, my friends.  And on the better days, the happy days…you have reached out and left me naughty, delightful comments, which are also much appreciated by this kinky girl.    

Trying to see the light,

nora

45 thoughts on “Failure

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  1. My brother always says “Never think of it as failure. You did the best that you could at the time. And tomorrow you’ll wake up and do better.” Never think about things as failures. Think of them as steps on the journey to success. We all love you Nora!!!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Smiles. Thank you, Grace. The thing is… I’m not sure that I did do the best that I could do at the time. But, it’s already said and done. All I can do is move forward with determination. Thank you for the kind words…they are much appreciated. Sending love to you and your baby girl ❤

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Smiles at you. I will be honest, my friend… I don’t really understand what you mean…. but I do know that it is said with love and good intentions. I am going to do better ❤

      Like

      1. Hi nora. Indeed, yes. Submission takes extraordinary strength. Yes, we are are letting go, but to do so requires discipline, strength, self-awareness. All the things you lamented were lacking for you right now, frustrating you. What I was trying to say, perhaps too flippantly, was that you demonstrate all the positive traits of someone who is strong and will overcome. These are preconditions I believe for being able to be true to your submissive self, and I believe that you possess them in spades. It is normal to get frustrated with the self. It is normal to expect more of the self. That is the hallmark of a strong submissive. And submission from strength is what we all strive for, as to be strong is to have something to give…and it is that moment of giving, also surrender, that is the most precious of all. The traits that will get you to that point in your submission are the same ones that will deliver your work and your projects on time. A good submissive is therefore submissive to herself first and foremost, because only by being submissive to the self, can you grow and prosper inside, which gives you the energy and focus to achieve outside. I know I believe in you. The fun part is fun, and is so existentially fun, because it is fed by spirituality. Submission is deep, which is why it is so strong. You are going to have a great day, a great week, be strong, live, and have a great life…and that is because the submissive heart is a strong heart, and the strong heart belongs to the meek, and the meek are the ones who conquer all. “Conquer Me” is about finding the will inside to conquer yourself. We all have demons. It is the submissive who has the strength to face them and overcome them.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you for this beautiful, thoughtful message, my friend. You have brought me to tears with your words and sentiment. Thank you for believing me to be strong. I will pick myself up off the floor and try again. Much love to you XOXO

          Liked by 1 person

  2. We all doubt we have all had times when we thought the task too big, we all have at times pushed through and at times surprised even ourselves. Yes I’ve read of the forest fires in CA. We have them is Australia. The is little more unsettling. Take care

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you, nora. I hadn’t heard that song before. I wish I had something useful to say. We have so much to be thankful for in being alive, yet I feel I’m surrounded by and sinking into chaos, calamity and despair. I’ve always felt I’m an outsider, never like I fit in. I’ve wasted so much of life feeling defeated. The real failure I want to avoid is to give up, withdraw and no longer care. As always, I’m sending you my best wishes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, Franz ~ hugging you~ I am sorry to hear that you have felt like an outsider much of your life. That must be hard. I do have so much to be grateful for and I will focus on that today. Thank you for reading this post and for always leaving me a comment. You matter to me and I think you have a beautiful mind and heart. Sending much love your way. XOXO

      Liked by 1 person

        1. No, thank you, Franz… you have always been kind to me, and we’ve also shared some pretty kinky conversations that still remain in my mind. I think you are an amazing guy and I am really grateful that you read my blog and choose to correspond with me. Hope things are feeling a little better today ❤

          Liked by 1 person

  4. You have this, Nora, you can do it, complete your project. In my book, you’re definitely not a failure! I know, we all have our doubts from time to time, but we are our own worst critics. You can do this!
    Much love.
    ~ Marie xox

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your uplifting words, Marie! I am ready to get back in the saddle today and try again. I’ve been thinking of you and Master T quite a bit. I hope he is back home and that all is well. XOXO

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Espero que todos sus proyectos y todos su sueños se hagan realidad.

    ¡Encuentre su fuerza!

    I hope that all your projects and all your dreams come true.

    Find your strength!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. One of my all time favourite songs, and I think everyone has felt imposter syndrome at some point. Just remember that others believe in you, and you were chosen for the project because of your skills x

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It is entirely understandable to fail to achieve a goal, especially for one who sets high standards for herself. At the same time, mere self reflection is not a sufficient remedy by itself. She also needs to be held accountable. She must experience real consequences. In a case such as this, that means she needs to be required to submit to a hard spanking.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hope you’re feeling better by now. I didn’t have a chance to reply yesterday. You’re too hard on yourself! It sounds like you have a lot on your hands and many plates spinning at once. Sometimes it’s hard to focus the proper attention on everything amidst all that’s going on. Just try not to hold on to disappointment with yourself and simply focus on doing better in the future. Best of luck and keep your chin up! 😄

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, my dear friend! I am feeling much better today. I’m working hard to get this goal accomplished and that is helping me to feel good about myself. I really appreciate the words of support ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I know I am exceptionally later to the party here but I sincerely hope that whatever it was that prompted this post has now passed and you are back on course to achieving your goals again. Huge hugs to you darlin’, you know you can do it if you just put the undermining demons to one side and believe in your own abilities. You could not have gotten so far if you did not have them in the first place. Believe in yourself Nora, and when you can’t, know that I believe in you. Much love my dear friend 💖💖💖

    Liked by 1 person

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