Writing is my kink

Writing is my kink, or at least….one of them 🙂

I’ve been thinking about the “why” of things a lot lately.  In my last post, I attempted to articulate “why” I need discipline and accountability the way that I do.  Two of my readers (shout out to Storm and Franz!) helped me to clarify my thoughts which got me thinking about my relationship with blogging and writing about sex, and spanking, and other naughty things. 

I am a sex blogger.  I write about kink; it is what I do.  It is sexually and emotionally satisfying to me to share intimate, sexy details.  I’ll be honest… I get off on writing about this stuff.  When I write about my experiences… I am experiencing foreplay with myself.  The words roll around in my mind like two lovers beneath the sheets.  In a way, I think this makes me an exhibitionist of sorts.  While I may write fiction, I also share VERY intimate, true details about my sex life and about my journey with submission.  I feel no shame in sharing these details with you.  I don’t worry about what others might think of me, or if they think I am doing things the “right” way.  A big part of why I am able to do this is because my blog is anonymous.  While a few people in my “real” life are aware of my kinks, for the most part… I keep that part of my life private.  And in doing so… I can share what I do behind closed doors with the world (or at least, with all of you 😊).

But there is another reason why I write about all this kinky stuff.  There is another “why”.  In a way, I feel like I am helping people.  I hope to normalize kink to others, at least to some degree, because I have heard way too many people express degrading thoughts about themselves because of their kinks.  People who grew up believing that they were “weird” or “perverted” in some way.  I don’t believe that to be true.  I don’t think that I am “weird” for having lifelong fantasies about being spanked when I misbehave.  It is a part of me and a part of my make up… and I am a beautiful person, living my life, trying to find happiness where I can…just like everybody else.  And beyond trying to normalize kink, I hope that I have inspired some of you to try new things or to talk to your partner about what you really want in the bedroom. 

The greatest compliment I have ever been given was by a reader who became a close friend.  He and his lovely wife are no longer a part of my life. But before our split, the two of them used to openly credit me with reviving their sex life (which I think was far too much credit!).  He was a lifelong, mostly-in-the-closet Dom, with sadistic tendencies and he’d always craved a D/s dynamic.  For various reasons, he and his wife had never been able to connect in this way even though he had shared his desires.  But after they began reading my blog together, something changed for them. A door opened… and in their sixties, and according to them…they became closer than they’d ever been. While I have never accepted all of the credit for this (and repeatedly told them so!)…it makes me feel good that my blog opened a door for them.

In any case…this is “why” I write about kink.  For me, it’s a huge turn on and at the same time, I genuinely feel like I am doing something good in the world.  It may not be something I’ll ever put on my resume (though I am seriously considering taking a few more classes and becoming a sex therapist), but it is something that I feel good about.  And I want to thank all of you for stopping by like you do, and hearing what I have to say.  I am grateful to ALL of my readers ❤ 

Keep it kinky, my friends!

XOXO,

nora

34 thoughts on “Writing is my kink

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  1. Very enlightening and enlightened post! Thanks! I too feel like writing stories and other thoughts on my blog are part of my kink. I get off on it as you mentioned. I doubt mine will ever inspire people as yours does, but then my aims are perhaps somewhat different. I appreciate your perspective and what you do.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, you have written a lot and over a long time. I’m just a baby in comparison. I love the “foreplay with myself” comment. That is so true. I can do that for days on end! The whole thing about kink shaming is really powerful. Most of the shame too seems self-imposed. I agree with you, the more we discuss this stuff and put it out there, the more people will find aspects of themselves in it and no longer feel alone. That will ultimately lead to change.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes! I sure hope so. Of course, shame in itself is a kink for some. But…I do hope through discussion and transparency more people will feel empowered to enjoy what really turns them on. Life is too short for unfulfilling sex🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. “I hope to normalize kink to others, at least to some degree, because I have heard way too many people express degrading thoughts about themselves because of their kinks.”

    Yes, yes, yes. Most don’t have a good self-image of themselves and quake in their boots that they may be found out. It would be different if spanking were something that was illegal or was seen as something detestable. I have been working on a post about this. I mean some can not even say spank, but use TTWD.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really feel for people who feel that they have to hide their true desires. All I can do is hope that when they see others writing about and having fun with it, that they feel a little less like “I must be a freak for being the only one”. Thank you for your comment, OBB!

      Like

  4. You’ve definitely reignited my motivation to get back to writing my own little kink stories in my head. I’m so happy I came across your blog, you are open and honest and full of knowledge. You give a new perspective on the life of kink, and I hope more people find your blog and realize those of us who love it, live it and need it are not so different from them after all.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, Storm…thank you for this comment! You really made me tear up here. Thank you for your readership and the interactions that we have…it really means a lot to me. And I hope to get to read your stories one day, when you are ready to put them in writing. You are beautiful, my friend ❤

      Liked by 1 person

        1. That sounds great! You don’t have a blog right now, correct? When I click on your avatar, it says no blog. But just wanted to check…if you are putting stuff out there, I want to be first in line to read it 🙂

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  5. I don’t remember off-hand how many people have read my blog and have a better understanding of bisexuality. I don’t write to excite – I write to enlighten. I did spend some time making “pocket change” writing and selling erotica and, wow, I was pretty good at it, it seems. My writing is therapeutic in many ways, too; when I can’t talk to someone, I write a blog that’ll empty my head and that works.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can relate to that kdaddy! I have used my blog in that way too at times, as a form of self-therapy. Sometimes it just feels good to get it all out of my head and interact with my readers. And…don’t sell yourself short! I have learned so much about bisexuality from reading your blog. My sister-in-law is bisexual and she and I have never talked about it much. But reading your blog has made me more aware of certain things that I would never have thought of before. So…thank you! 🙂

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      1. You’re very welcome and I’m happy to be of service! In turn, I’ve learned a lot about D/s from you and DDJennifer and others with a similar kink and all because y’all write about it so, it’s my turn to thank you!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I also find writing to be an expression of my kink. Actually, it’s my only expression of it.

    In addition to being an exciting read, your blog is a wealth of information, especially for anyone new to this. I grew up thinking something was wrong with me and, until I met my future wife, I didn’t talk about spanking with anyone. I was amazed that she was not only interested but enthusiastic to explore it as sexual foreplay. I wonder how things might be different if your blog had been available when I was young. There was so little chance of finding the kind of connection we make today online and with the option of anonymity. However, I like the fact that my fetish is not mainstream. If everyone was comfortable with the kink, it wouldn’t be a kink, and the psychology would be different. I’m not even sure I would be a spanko if it was common and widely understood and accepted. However, I eventually accepted my desires as perfectly okay. I just prefer to keep it private with only selected individuals.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You make a very interesting point, Franz….would spanking be as exciting if it were mainstream. I will really have to think on that! And thank you for following my blog, my friend…your readership means a great deal to me ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  7. This is a wonderful post!

    I find myself going through cycles, sometimes I write about sexual dysfunctions, other times about FWB, then I get into kink and bdsm (as you know 🙃) and suddenly… Nothing. Dry spell.

    But during the dry spell I read. And you always have some interesting stories to absorb so I come here to read. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Yes to not feeling shame in sharing all details, yes to not caring what others think of you because you share so much and yes to helping others because you care to share… I am with you on all of these things, Nora!
    ~ Marie xox

    Liked by 1 person

    1. As I was writing this post, I thought of you Marie… I think you and I are cut from the same cloth! I learn so much from reading your blog and it is helpful to me to have friends living the lifestyle who also feel no shame about their kink. XOXO

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I stumbled across your blog several months ago and started at the very beginning and read each and every post until I was finally current and now I check every couple days for a new post.
    I have yet to comment – but today’s post made me want to speak up and let you know just how helpful you are and have been.
    This is all very new for me (6 months or so) but I am one of those who, like you, has always craved and fantasized about spanking. Discipline. Consequences.
    And as you described, I always felt “bad”, “wrong”, “weird”, “perverted” for feeling the way I do. And it has taken me the last several months of foray into this world to realize that for one thing I’m not alone. Not by a long shot.
    But also that it’s OK to feel the way I do and be who I am and I am not bad, weird, perverted etc….
    And your blog has been a huge part of that for me. Reading your stories has of course excited me – but reading your reflections and introspection has been tremendously helpful in understanding myself and what makes me tick and why.
    So thank you!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. WOW! This is such a generous comment, WishfulSub78! Thank you very much… you have really made my day here. Well first… welcome to the lifestyle! I would love to learn more about what the last six months has entailed for you. I am very glad that you have discovered the WordPress spanking community…there are quite a few of us here… you are definitely NOT alone. And…if you decide to start your own blog, I hope you will let me know so that I might follow you as well. I do hope you will continue to comment and interact…I LOVE discussion with my readers. So very nice to “meet” you!!! XOXO

      Like

      1. I have checked out several other DD and D/s blogs but yours is by far my favorite. I honestly don’t remember how I found it but I am thankful that I did stumble across it.
        Last November I found tumblr somehow and found this whole world of kink and D/s and BDSM and DD and the rest of it. I don’t know if I found your blog through tumblr or not but I know it was right around the same time that I found and started reading both. And then I started to learn – and I love to learn! So I researched and I talked to so very many people and the more I read and learned, the more I recognized in myself and frankly, the more I awakened in myself.
        I understand more and more why I crave the D/s and DD lifestyle. As a single mom of 2 (now adults) having left an extremely abusive marriage many years ago, I have been in control. Always. I am strong and successful (mostly! Ha) and I raised my kids alone. Never had any financial help. I worked 2-3 jobs always. And it’s exhausting. I long to give up that control. I have realized that I am a bratty sub 🙂 just because that’s my personality. I push and I tease and for some reason I do find I enjoy being a little pouty and naughty… Looking for a reaction I suppose.
        I’ve only just recently started to do anything in real life though and I haven’t tried a whole lot. But it will come… In time….
        And I appreciate your interaction with your readers btw.
        I have thought about a blog…. I don’t know how to go about it and I would need to be certain I could stay totally anonymous… So any help would be appreciated!!!!!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you for this incredibly thoughtful response, Wishfulsub78! It means a lot when my readers share their own stories and circumstances. You have already done SO much learning! Starting a blog on WordPress is fairly straightforward, but before you do so, you want to open an anonymous email account as you will have to enter one (GMail allows you to do this still, without linking your phone number or anything). It sounds like you are VERY much ready to lose control to the right person. You said you only recently started to do anything in real life…what has that looked like so far? XOXO

          Like

  10. Is there a way to chat privately without posting on the blog?
    I’m not familiar enough with WordPress to know if they have that capability or not?

    Liked by 1 person

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