Writing is my kink, or at least….one of them 🙂
I’ve been thinking about the “why” of things a lot lately. In my last post, I attempted to articulate “why” I need discipline and accountability the way that I do. Two of my readers (shout out to Storm and Franz!) helped me to clarify my thoughts which got me thinking about my relationship with blogging and writing about sex, and spanking, and other naughty things.
I am a sex blogger. I write about kink; it is what I do. It is sexually and emotionally satisfying to me to share intimate, sexy details. I’ll be honest… I get off on writing about this stuff. When I write about my experiences… I am experiencing foreplay with myself. The words roll around in my mind like two lovers beneath the sheets. In a way, I think this makes me an exhibitionist of sorts. While I may write fiction, I also share VERY intimate, true details about my sex life and about my journey with submission. I feel no shame in sharing these details with you. I don’t worry about what others might think of me, or if they think I am doing things the “right” way. A big part of why I am able to do this is because my blog is anonymous. While a few people in my “real” life are aware of my kinks, for the most part… I keep that part of my life private. And in doing so… I can share what I do behind closed doors with the world (or at least, with all of you 😊).
But there is another reason why I write about all this kinky stuff. There is another “why”. In a way, I feel like I am helping people. I hope to normalize kink to others, at least to some degree, because I have heard way too many people express degrading thoughts about themselves because of their kinks. People who grew up believing that they were “weird” or “perverted” in some way. I don’t believe that to be true. I don’t think that I am “weird” for having lifelong fantasies about being spanked when I misbehave. It is a part of me and a part of my make up… and I am a beautiful person, living my life, trying to find happiness where I can…just like everybody else. And beyond trying to normalize kink, I hope that I have inspired some of you to try new things or to talk to your partner about what you really want in the bedroom.
The greatest compliment I have ever been given was by a reader who became a close friend. He and his lovely wife are no longer a part of my life. But before our split, the two of them used to openly credit me with reviving their sex life (which I think was far too much credit!). He was a lifelong, mostly-in-the-closet Dom, with sadistic tendencies and he’d always craved a D/s dynamic. For various reasons, he and his wife had never been able to connect in this way even though he had shared his desires. But after they began reading my blog together, something changed for them. A door opened… and in their sixties, and according to them…they became closer than they’d ever been. While I have never accepted all of the credit for this (and repeatedly told them so!)…it makes me feel good that my blog opened a door for them.
In any case…this is “why” I write about kink. For me, it’s a huge turn on and at the same time, I genuinely feel like I am doing something good in the world. It may not be something I’ll ever put on my resume (though I am seriously considering taking a few more classes and becoming a sex therapist), but it is something that I feel good about. And I want to thank all of you for stopping by like you do, and hearing what I have to say. I am grateful to ALL of my readers ❤
Keep it kinky, my friends!