Awhile back, Marie @ Loving My Disciplined Life mentioned a D/s book which intrigued me. The book is Real Service, by Master Raven Kaldera & Joshua Tenpenny. While I am only about 30 pages in (it is a relatively short book) I am learning much about service submissives. For me, serving is a very big part of my submission. When I am serving another I feel fulfilled (so actually, serving others is a bit self-serving for this girl 😊 ).
I believe that I serve in many ways. I serve Daddy by making his life easier and more pleasant (at least, I try 😊). I wash and fold his clothes, keep our home clean, manage our finances, do much of the yard work, care for our pets, feed him well, and contribute to our household earnings. I also enjoy serving his body through massage, foot rubs, and sexual pleasure. It makes me feel good about myself to do these things for him.
I also serve my Dominant. Sir has a great need for control, and I do my best to serve him in ways that help meet that need. I adhere to his schedule to the best of my ability (waking early, often organizing my daily duties around his availability, etc.). I do my best to obey his Rules and complete his assignments on-time. I am also learning and implementing his preferences regarding how I speak about myself and how I conduct myself in our daily chats.
While many may enjoy the idea of being served… I’ll be honest, my friends… there is no where I’d rather be than on my knees, my heart open and soft, my mind deep in subspace. Nothing gives me more satisfaction than serving to the best of my ability regardless of the act. It is deeply ingrained in who I am as a person and as a submissive.
Below, I will provide my chapter notes on Real Service. I have only completed notes on the first two sections, but there will be more to come 🙂
Keeping it kinky!
CHAPTER One- Service porn and the butler fetish
- People who fantasize about service roles (think French maid’s uniform vs. People who live to serve others).
- Generally, 24/7 dynamics include two people where one person has dedicated their time and energy to the service of another.
- Myth- service needs to be “high class” (think fancy tea service, how to set a formal dinner). Service can be from “regular” people, serving “regular” Doms in ways that please the Dom.
CHAPTER TWO- Rules of Service
Rule 1: If the Master doesn’t want it, it isn’t service.
Service isn’t service unless your Dom wants it (even if you are good at it, even if you think it will benefit him, even if your last Dom loved it…if your current Dom doesn’t want it, it isn’t service).
Note to Doms- many Doms admit to accepting service that they don’t really want so that they don’t hurt the feelings of their submissive. You are not doing them any favors in this way; you are actually harming them…as you are allowing their feelings to dictate your dominance. Having high and exacting standards will bring out the best in your submissive. While some submissives may need a Dom to be more emotionally supportive in the early stages of a dynamic, the idea is to help them grow into their best selves (and into what you are seeking).
Rule 2: Contempt has no place in service.
If either person feels contempt for the other, the dynamic isn’t working.
Rule 3: A bad attitude is corrosive to the servant and the relationship.
Submissives should try to foster a positive attitude during service, even if the task does not seem that important. You are doing something to please your Dom…that is what submission is all about.
Tackling a precision job with all your energy to get your Dom’s well-earned approval should be of the upmost importance to you.
Note to Doms: Do not accept a poor attitude from your submissive. You are not doing them any favors by allowing them to get away with this.
Rule 4: A good servant wants their master to be right.
Sometimes Doms make mistakes or are wrong about something. Make a decision…. you are obeying this person because you believe them to be competent (or exit the dynamic if you see them as incompetent). If you decide to serve them, you must let go of the need to be right. Let go of that responsibility (that is one of the perks of a D/s dynamic).
Note to Doms- It is okay if you make a mistake. Own it, take responsibility, and move on. If your submissive is being difficult, try saying something like, “I don’t understand how you are thinking about this, but I could be missing something. Please help me understand where you are coming from.”