A sexy self-growth project- 30 days of D/s, part deux (Day 15) #NSFW, 18+

Hello, my friends!

Almost four years ago, I participated in the Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s writing prompts and from this experience, I learned a lot about myself and about D/s.  Recently, I embarked on re-reading my former posts and realized that so much of what I have written in the past was either no longer relevant, or, my views on the topics had evolved into something else entirely.  I thought it might be fun to share my before and now posts, side by side.

Also, please note that while I refer to a Dominant as “He” and a submissive as “she” in my writing, this is only done to reflect my own experiences. I do not believe that either role is more inherent to a particular gender.

Keeping it kinky!

XOXO,

nora

Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s – Day 15

Prompt: Long distance relationships, trips without your partner, simply not living together – it all adds up to one thing: being D/s even when you’re not together. The solution you find for your relationship will be specific to you and to your circumstances, but if you’re already living through a long-distance relationship or you think you might one day, it’s good to think about how to make it work when you’re apart.

April 5, 2021

This is an intriguing prompt for me…almost four years later.  Daddy and I are still together, living as Head-of-Household (HOH) and respectful wife (that’s me 😊) under the same roof.  He still travels for work a fair amount, in fact, he is traveling this week.  I am still expected to follow his rules when he is gone which include making the bed and cleaning the kitchen each day, and refraining from tantrums when I am lonely (I can be a real brat when I get lonely!).  I am incredibly grateful that we do not face a long-distance situation and that we never have.  Most nights, I enjoy the comfort of being tucked in by Daddy and sleeping beside him.

And, I am also in a D/s dynamic with my Sir.  Sir and I, and our dynamic, exist solely on-line…so I guess that would be considered long distance.  We live on opposite ends of the country and experience a three-hour time difference. Sir has reminded me on many occasions that my Rules are not only in place when I am at home, but when I am out in the world as well.  Often, if he knows that I will be out and about, he will give me special instructions or reminders.  For example, one day, he messaged me this:

“While you are out I want you to look at your reflection in a store front window.  Look at your beautiful face and remind yourself that you are a girl with Rules.  Rules that must be obeyed.”

Through use of email and instant messenger, we make the long-distance thing work for our dynamic.  I am hopeful that one day (with Daddy’s permission) we might be allowed phone calls or even Zoom calls…but for now, this is all incredibly exciting, even if it exists solely on-line 😊


June 3, 2017

I am grateful that Daddy and I live together and are together most of the time.  However, he does occasionally have to travel for work.  This has happened twice in the last five months and I felt that we handled it pretty well, though I noticed that I was much lonelier than I usually am.  I think this can be explained in part by the recent family losses I have suffered but also because of the closer, more intimate bond that Daddy and I have forged through our new D/s lifestyle.

While he was gone for work, Daddy still expected me to follow his rules.  He assigned me more written lines than usual and I think this was to help me stay in the submissive mindset even when he wasn’t present.  He also made me stand in the corner one evening with a ginger fig inserted in my bottom because, as he said, he could just feel a tantrum coming on.  Thankfully the corner time worked and a tantrum did not prevail, at least that time.  He also gave me a rather hard spanking with the wooden paddle before he left, just to make sure that I remembered to behave while he was away.  He frequently had me send pictures to him to ensure I was obeying…to see me in the corner, to see if I was nude, to see if I had a plug inserted, etc.

I am thankful that Daddy has not had to travel much lately as I miss him in a deeper way now when he is gone for work.  We are getting to know one another on completely new levels—as Dominant and submissive, as Daddy and baby girl—and that has been a very intimate journey.  While he can certainly assign me chores and other exercises to ensure obedience while he is away, I miss being in his arms each night when he is gone.  I miss his breath in my hair when he holds me.  I miss his strong hands…so capable of bringing me pleasure, but capable of bringing great pain as well when I have earned it.  I miss lying next to him in our bed at night and hearing him sleep.

One benefit that D/s has brought to our relationship when Daddy does have to travel is that Daddy no longer tolerates me complaining while he is away.  I am not to rant about how I hate his job (I don’t really hate his job, I just hate when he’s gone) and I am not allowed to throw emotional fits about being alone, having to do all the chores on my own, etc.  I’ll be honest… I had some very bad habits about this before D/s.  Almost every time that Daddy traveled we would get in a fight on the phone about something stupid, when what I was really upset about was being alone and unable to handle my emotions appropriately.  The first time Daddy had to travel after we started D/s, he told me that if I threw any sort of tantrum whatsoever while he was gone, that I would get a spanking when he got back.  I really did try to behave but my bad habits kicked in and I was up to my old tricks in no time.  Well, I threw not just one, but two tantrums the week he was away and guess what?  I got two separate spankings when he got home, and I swear I couldn’t sit comfortably for days.  I have not thrown a tantrum since…and I was good as gold the next time he traveled.

Happy writing

~ nora

11 thoughts on “A sexy self-growth project- 30 days of D/s, part deux (Day 15) #NSFW, 18+

Add yours

  1. So fun! Great post as always! My husband and I did sort of long distance with my quarantine. Which sucked. I hated it. The only reason I made it through was because I had my brother. Who is honestly stricter than my husband, having to become basically a full time parent at 14 would probably do that to you. Speaking of my brothers. Easter went okay. No huge blowups, but it was pretty tense. Matt and Sawyer conspired to make sure everyone was on their best behavior for me. Which I’m thankful for this baby does not need that kind of stress. And I got to see my favorite cousin Lindsey, her husband Corbitt, and their kid (a 10 week old miniature poodle). I also got to see my sister, who I love so much and don’t get to see very often. Since she and her wife work long doctor hours far away. All in all a pretty good day. I was freaking out before and out of habit my husband swatted my butt (he freaked out fussing and making sure I was okay after) and the look on my face you would have thought he had bought me a new BMW. Score! Much love as always!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Great to hear from you Grace Marie! I am glad to hear that your Easter celebrations went well. I imagine that receiving a swat to your bottom after so long was like being led to water after being lost in the desert! 🙂

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  2. I’ve never been involved in a long distance relationship, but being away from my wife for extended periods has been a feature of our life over the years. Luckily, it never really caused much resentment or us to grow apart. I can see, though, where tantrums, passive-aggressive treatment and other manipulation could make things far worse. Yours is an important example of how spanking and discipline can be the fix for this kind of issue. XO

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Domestic discipline has served us well, Franz! While I adore my husband, I can also have a very bad attitude when I am lonely…and he was growing tired of it! I do much better now 🙂

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  3. Nora! I am so glad to finally have time to catch up on your blog, I have been dying to hear all your news! I am so glad that things are going well with Daddy and now Sir (formerly known as Mr. Intriguing). I have also been going through a period of some pretty harsh self-reflection and it is definitely something to be proud of yourself for doing. I know I’m proud of myself for being brave enough to admit and address my mistakes and shortcomings. Sir’s homework assignments sound amazing! As another girl who lives to learn, I might just ask S if he would be interested in setting up some similar rules 😉 Especially since this semester is almost over and I don’t want to let my mind blunt over summer. Again, I am so glad that all is well with you and I hope things continue to get better and better!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Great to hear from you, Clairevoyant! I am so glad to see you here in this space. Things have been going VERY well for me lately. I am very happy with my current situation. I am really having fun with my assignments. I do hope you can convince S to give you some over summer! I am learning about all kinds of things which I would never have read on my own. Again, great to hear from you…and don’t be too hard on yourself with all that self-reflection…remember, you are one badass babe 🙂

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      1. Yay! S actually offered me a job in his company over the summer, but I declined. I want him to be the boss in our relationship, but not my actual BOSS haha. But I love the idea of assignments or even helping him out with his work sometimes, so thank you for the inspiration! As a music lover, the Thursday song assignments are the most intriguing to me, but I would love to learn about new things even more! Haha as always, I am my own harshest critic. Thank you and I’ll definitely remember it!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. LOL…yeah, I wouldn’t want to work with my Daddy…I only want to be under his (and Sir’s) control at home, not at work. Most of us are our harshest critic….be kind to yourself 🙂

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