A sexy self-growth project- 30 days of D/s, part deux (Day 13) #NSFW, 18+

Hello, my friends!

Almost four years ago, I participated in the Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s writing prompts and from this experience, I learned a lot about myself and about D/s.  Recently, I embarked on re-reading my former posts and realized that so much of what I have written in the past was either no longer relevant, or, my views on the topics had evolved into something else entirely.  I thought it might be fun to share my before and now posts, side by side.

Also, please note that while I refer to a Dominant as “He” and a submissive as “she” in my writing, this is only done to reflect my own experiences. I do not believe that either role is more inherent to a particular gender.

Keeping it kinky!

XOXO,

nora

Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s – Day 13

Prompt: Let us be clear, in D/s, pain isn’t a requirement. You don’t have to be a masochist or a sadist to be D/s. But it’s always good to have an idea of where you stand on the subject. As a submissive, would you consent to a painful spanking as punishment? As a Dominant, do you want to inflict pain on your submissive? Does the idea of it turn you on or off? There are no right answers with this one, but because it’s so common, it’s worth thinking about.

MARCH 4, 2021

As a submissive, yes… I consent to painful spankings in a discipline context.  As you all know, I am a self-proclaimed “Spanko” and this might be confusing to some.  Some might wonder, “Well, if she likes it…is it really discipline?”  The thing is, it is a bit more complicated than that.  Yes, I fantasize about spanking… A LOT.  I write spanking fiction, I look at spanking pictures, I read all of your spanking blogs and experiences, I am pretty much obsessed with all that is spanking…. the being put across a strong man’s knee, having my panties lowered, feeling that burn across my bottom, experiencing that loss of control….

But the crazy thing is…once a spanking gets started… I cannot wait for it to be over! Spankings hurt!  And while this may sound silly…that surprises me EACH AND EVERY time that I am spanked.  There is this fantasy about spanking in my mind…and there is the reality of a sound spanking, and painful it really is.  So, while I am a “Spanko” at heart…spanking as discipline does actually work for me.  Knowing that a spanking is a consequence for my misbehavior does encourage me to toe the line and obey my rules. 

Most of the time *winks* 🙂     

JUNE 2017

While exploring this new (new to us) D/s lifestyle with my husband, I have come to realize that pain is a critical aspect of this journey for me.  If you look up the word pain in the dictionary, it is described as physical suffering or distress, or, a distressing sensation in a particular part of the body, or, mental and/or emotional suffering or torment.  I am learning that different types of pain help me to release different kinds of emotions associated with various stressors.  I’ve found that pain helps motivate me to change and reach my goals.  And, as both my husband and I have realized, pain is a bit of an aphrodisiac for me.

Yes, as a submissive, I have consented to painful spankings.  My Daddy has set clear guidelines for my behavior which include always being respectful, always being obedient, and always striving to please him.  If I demonstrate in any way that I am not adhering to these guidelines, then a discipline spanking will take place.  To answer the second part of the prompt, on behalf of my dominant, yet, Daddy does enjoy inflicting pain on his little girl (me).  He enjoys how powerful it makes him feel, the confidence it instills in him.  However; it has taken him time to become comfortable inflicting this pain.  In the beginning, he was afraid of hurting me and he would hold back.  He now has a much better understanding of what his discipline does for me, and what a wonderful gift it is to our marriage.  He has expressed that it is still sometimes difficult for him to give me the amount of discipline I need, especially when he sees fear in my eyes.  But, we both know that if I don’t fear his spankings and fear his discipline, I won’t work hard to avoid them.

I mentioned above that for me, different types of pain provide a release from different stressors.  I experience much emotional pain right now stemming from the unexpected loss of both my mother and my younger brother.  My husband and I have found that a good hard spanking to release these painful emotions truly helps me to release and move forward with my day.  Another type of pain that I experience is more self-inflicted…the type of pain that comes from a lack of self-confidence in my own abilities or skills.  In these cases, often a challenging workout, which is somewhat painful for the body, helps me to release those feelings.  I also experience the pain of the dedicated submissive who sometimes fails her dominant, and a painful, stinging lecture from him can help me to release these feelings and move forward (as well as his stinging palm across my backside).

Lastly, I have realized that pain and domination are aphrodisiacs for me, and this was hard to accept at first.  However, the dominance that my Daddy displays over me, the pain that comes from his discipline, creates sensations in my body like no other.  I apologize for my indelicacy, but when Daddy spanks me hard to tears, I become wetter than either of us have ever known me to be.  This was difficult for both of us to understand at first.  I think Daddy worried that I was enjoying the spankings he meant as discipline though that wasn’t and isn’t the case…a spanking hurts and during one, all I want is for it to stop.  However, on some level, my body responds to a spanking as some type of foreplay.  The combination of being dominated by Daddy and feeling physical pain applied by his hand is an experience that I don’t ever want to live without.

Thank you, Daddy…you fulfill me, and you rock my world.

Love, nora

28 thoughts on “A sexy self-growth project- 30 days of D/s, part deux (Day 13) #NSFW, 18+

Add yours

  1. Yes yes yes!! I fantasize about spankings all the time!! (I have for years and years and years) but when it actually gets to be time I’m praying that it will end soon. It works as discipline. It also works for fun to get me in the mood. But that day after burn when you sit in chairs ouch! Keeps this girl on her best behavior.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. And another from the male perspectivec, I fantasise about them to… it’s my go to. However when getting one also want it to end. But like you, I love walking round with a roasted sore bottom. Getting into a hot shower the next day is wonderful!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Well, hello, my friend! It is always nice to hear from a new reader….welcome to my blog 🙂
      Yes…walking around with a roasted, sore bottom is simply delicious….I LOVE having that secret when I am out in public!!!
      May I ask if you are currently in a spanking relationship? I sure hope you are able to get your needs met!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for your welcome nora! My wife recognises that I “need” to be spanked and does spank me. Unfortunately it’s not her thing so I’m doing well if spanked/paddled/caned once a month. I don’t think that she likes hurting me, but the spankings are getting incrementally harder :-). I am very grateful that she does this for me and try and make it work for her too. I don’t think that we will get to the point where she disciplines me without my request though…

        Liked by 2 people

        1. I would just say….go slow, my friend. Ease her into it. For those who don’t share the same desires we do, the idea of “hurting” someone can be hard to deal with at first. You also might try to “normalize” it for her a bit. Show her some of your favorite blogs. Let her know that other people ARE doing this and that it isn’t all that unusual of a desire. I am glad to hear you are getting your needs met once per month! For Spankos like us…that is something!

          Liked by 2 people

                  1. I have never been able to follow it… not sure why, but if you go to caged Lion’s actual site, at the bottom of every blog, he has the most recent blogs of people he follows. That’s how I access it—though it’s been awhile! So many blogs and so little time…

                    Liked by 1 person

  3. I too fantasize about all things spanking and like you I actively search out new stories or old favourite ones, where I differ is, about midway through the spanking I actually start to thrive on the pain, I get seriously turned on too, the after effects of the spanking are a strong aphrodisiac for me and so while the spanking itself doesn’t really make me want to conform for fear of being disciplined, (I’m more likely to run towards a spanking than away from one) the humiliation and loss of control factors do make me want to at least try and mend my errant ways. (for a short while at least). I dislike those two aspects of a sound spanking, I hate to have the control taken away from me, it’s my warrior shield, and being made to submit for a spanking is the epitome of submission for me, which I struggle hugely with.
    I worked out a good few years ago that I need the pain to help me release my pent up or stuck emotions, my head would get completely clogged up with past traumas and I would go numb, reverting to my previous emotionless, unfeeling state for safety. It’s not a good place to be and the spankings have helped massively in releasing that no mans land feeling until I can feel normal again.
    Love these posts, such an insight into your D/s / DD journey!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for your incredibly thoughtful response, Gemma! I too have realized that I do need the pain…it is INCREDIBLY cathartic. But damn… a sound spanking is one helluva a way to get that release! I can get a similar release from an intense workout…but is it sooooo not the same. The humiliation factor of a spanking is a big part of the process for me too…and a big part of what helps to teach me a lesson. Having my panties taken down… *shivers*…. there is nothing like a man separating you from your panties for discipline to let you know that you are NOT in control. Thank you for continuing to follow me on this journey!!!

      Liked by 2 people

  4. From the other side of the fence. We don’t do discipline. Nothing wrong with it, it just would not work at all for us, We enjoy our spankings. We spank as fast and hard as the bottom desires. Which changes on factors unknown to us – moon phases? We certainly know that fast and furious can make one wish it was over. From time-to-time one of us will say the next x licks are going to be fast and I want you to just take them. Agony, but fun.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Great to hear from you two! While we don’t do sensual spankings very often, there has been a time or two when Daddy will use a riding crop on me…very slowly….teasing me between my legs, my nipples, and my bottom with the sting. I do enjoy that 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Spankings hurt a lot, that is so true. At the start of every spanking I receive the same thought goes through my head “(swear word censored) hell why do I do this”. Then the magic happens, and I start dancing with the fairies in my head 🙂

    Prefectdt

    Liked by 2 people

  6. People who don’t have the feelings, who ask that question, “If you like it, is it really discipline?” may never understand. My answer, “Why would I choose it if I didn’t like it on some level?” I don’t think it’s easy to explain even to ourselves but, bottom line, we know what we want, and we know what works. If there’s a real reason to be punished, then a spanking is punishment. The difference is between the ears. Personally, I don’t think it even has to be more physically painful than non-punishment, but more pain does help send and sell the message, and can also be more cathartic. Punishment to me is also the shame and embarrassment of having to face these consequences. It’s not like, “Oh, this is fun, when can I fail again?” I like the idea of all this physical and emotional pain, but that doesn’t make it any less effective from a disciplinary standpoint. Any consensual punishment I truly hated on all levels, I wouldn’t be involved with anyway.

    It may sound like my opinions come from experience, but I only know about this kind of discipline from my youth, which was unambiguously painful. Since those days, I’ve been thinking about spanking from several perspectives, and I think I understand completely what you are saying in your answer to this question about pain.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I really appreciate this thoughtful response, franzcoughka! I suppose you are right….those who ask that sort of question, don’t truly understand what the experience is like. I imagine there are submissives who identify as masochists and who actually enjoy the pain…but I am not one of them. A spanking freaking hurts! But man…it sure does wonders for my behavior!!! I wasn’t disciplined with spanking as a teen (only as a young child). As I don’t have children, I was never faced with the question…to spank or not to spank. If you are willing to share, I would love to hear about the discipline from your youth and how it affected you. Thank you again for participating on my blog!!!

      Liked by 2 people

    1. There are a lot of women out there who like/want/need a good spanking, my friend! One way to sort of root around, to see if this is the case, is to say something like, “Well, it sounds like you needed to be put over someone’s knee” in response to something she has said, and see how she responds to it….

      Liked by 1 person

  7. YES, that is exactly how it feels! I fantasize often about punishments and spankings (and sometimes the brat in me even breaks the rules on purpose to have them 😉 ) but when it actually starts it HURTS! I have never seen anyone express that tension so well!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I will say that the thought of a spanking often has Angus erect (or pushing on his cage), but once it starts, that rapidly disappears! lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL…I imagine it does! That is pretty much how it goes for me as well. The thought of a spanking is a big turn on, and likely to make me wet…but once it starts, all thoughts of horny things go out of my mind. Now after…once the pain has subsided a bit…the hornyness often comes back with a vengeance 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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