Self-care means lots of sex, right?

Hello, my kinky friends!

For Christmas, I was gifted two self-guided journals which I have been keeping myself busy with in the mornings over coffee (A Year of Zen, and Soul Therapy).  The topic today was “self-care” and as this is such an important topic for ALL of us, I thought I would share my journal entry with you.




January 30, 2021

Guided Journal: Soul Therapy

Prompt: Self-care is the act of taking care of your needs, being emotional, physical, spiritual and psychological needs.  Taking care of yourself is a show of self-love.  The more you tend to your needs, the more you can take care of others.

What are your favorite self-care activities?

How can you incorporate them into your daily life?

I had never really heard of self-care until I started my PhD program in psychology.  Early on in our intro classes, self-care was discussed quite a bit, with regard to being a student and a future practitioner.  There were lots of suggestions that were helpful and a few things that I discovered on my own over time.  The following is a list of self-care activities that work best for me, which I incorporate as often as possible.  As I am working from home through this pandemic, self-care has been easier than ever to fit in to my schedule. 

Time in the sun– whenever the sky is clear and the sun is shining, I do my best to spend at least ten minutes outside (longer if I have the time), basking in the warmth of the sun.  There is research to support that spending 10-15 minutes in the sun each day boosts your Vitamin D levels which has a positive effect on your physical and mental well-being (assuming you don’t have skin sensitivities).  I find this a great time to read, listen to relaxing music, or just enjoy watching my dogs play in the yard.  Feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin has a very therapeutic effect on me and I feel my mind calm, and my other physiological processes slow.

Creative activity– I am a writer.  A painter. A gardener.  A creator.  This is as natural to me as is breathing.  When I am creating, I feel centered.  But there are times when I cannot slow my mind or focus on being creative.  One strategy for this, that I learned in Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, is to journal.  Julia’s suggestion is to just start writing…anything and everything that comes to mind.  Let it all come out onto the page, without censorship or worrying if your writing is any good.  Often, after I have done this, my mind is calmer and ready to engage in the creative process.  This is when I write my naughty spanking fiction or settle in to paint while listening to piano music (Pandora has a great piano music channel!).

Immersing myself in another world– While I am not a huge fan of TV, I have found great comfort in settling into my chair with a blanket and my two puppies and watching a humorous show.  Currently, I am slowly making my way through “A life in pieces” which is a good natured, clean, family comedy.  If I am exhausted from a scene, or just experiencing a stressful day, I have noticed that just 15-20 minutes of this can have a profound effect on my mental and physical well-being.  As I am not one to park myself in front of the television, I often don’t get through a whole episode…but I find my mind much more relaxed after engaging in this self-care activity. 

Sex– I am a sexual creature.  I have incredibly intense, primal needs.  Much like a fourteen-year-old boy experiencing a wild bout of hormones, I think of sex OFTEN and I can’t go without it for very long.  As my Daddy is at work all day, I often find it necessary for my emotional and physical wellness to engage in sexual play by myself.  This may involve reading stories (thank you to all of my favorite sex bloggers out there…you know who you are!), watching videos (yes, I will freely and openly admit to enjoying porn), or just letting my own imagination run wild, taking me over the edge.  I have found self-pleasure to be incredibly centering.  Unlike some (for example, my husband), I don’t fall asleep after sex.  In fact, I feel incredibly invigorated and it is then that I am likely to get up and do something very productive.  Of course, if Daddy is home…forget the self-pleasuring and please bring on the real-life fucking (pardon my French).


I would LOVE to hear what your self-care practices are, kinky or not! Please share below and have a wonderful day 🙂 With love, nora

26 thoughts on “Self-care means lots of sex, right?

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  1. One of my self-care practices is to have a nice lie in in the morning, and when I am in the mood, I play with a toy. Like you, I am a creative person, and creating something definitely is part of my self care, as is a nice shower, or just going to the beauty salon (can’t wait for that to be permitted again). I should go out and walk more, but I love being home far too much 😉
    ~ Marie

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Think on it, Prefectdt…. what are the things that help you relax and your mind to calm? Or, the activities that bring you immense joy? Typically, those are the types of things that fall into self-care…as well as things such as eating healthy, exercising, getting enough sleep, etc. I hope you will ponder on this… I would love to hear your answers 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve always lived by something I call Rule Number One: Look after your own ass first because if you can’t take care of yourself and in the way that’s needed, you’re not going to be able to take care of anything – or anyone – else. And having sex is self-care and even having it just because your body is telling you to. In this, however, people are funny about having sex and we have rules about when to have it and who to have it with as well as under what conditions are allowable which usually doesn’t work well toward self-care a whole lot and more so when some folks are of a mind that self-care means avoiding sex. Or getting “hassled” because your idea of sexual self-care means having a “whole lot of sex.”

    And self-care in this also includes having a healthy attitude about it and that can include not having much in the way of inhibitions that could be a detriment to this aspect of self-care. It includes not letting others impose their idea about this on you – and that happens a lot – and telling you shit that doesn’t conform or facilitate YOUR idea of self-care in this. If I want to spank my monkey, I’m gonna do it and anyone who thinks I shouldn’t be doing that, well, they’re just gonna be unhappy with me since I know this is part of my overall self-care agenda.

    You get the picture. I learned about this in college psychology classes, too – but I already knew it and had already learned that if you don’t take care of these things yourself, NO ONE ELSE IS GOING TO so, yeah – look after your own ass first and do what you gotta do to take the best care of yourself as possible.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for this incredibly thoughtful response, kdaddy! I completely agree with your point that we can’t take care of others well, unless we take care of ourselves. I recently finished a year long contract, providing mental health services at a county clinic and self-care was something that our supervisors consistently reminded us of. So, besides spanking your monkey (and trust me, that is a big one for me too!), what are other forms of self-care that work for you?

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Simply doing the thing I know I need to do. Avoiding stress is a big item on my list of things to do. Keeping a very close eye on my overall health and keeping an even closer eye on my mental health since, um, as you’ve probably heard, bisexuals all suffer from severe clinical depression (imagine me rolling my eyes on this one). I’ve always had a very healthy attitude about sex and I recognize its importance both physically and emotionally and I’m not of a mind to hear people telling me that when I want and need it, I should learn to be okay not getting it… and I call bullshit on that. A lot of my overall self-care is not allowing other people to dictate the things I know I need to do for myself, be it sex or anything else. At least for me, self-care is all about being… myself. Unedited. Unsuppressed. As for-real as I can possibly be. I’m 65 years old and I’m even more about self-care than in my younger days; outside of the sexual stuff, the most important aspect of this to me is keeping my mind sharp and if there’s something I need to do, it gets done because I know that, as I said to you, no one is going to do it for me. I mentor a guy who’s turned into one hell of a bi guy and he sometimes asks me if being as old as I am slows me down… and I laughed at him and said, “I’m old… not dead. Sex, it seems, is even more important to me now than it was when I was younger; I’m not sure why but I’m good with it since I’ve seen way too many people I know give this up because they think – or others think – that they’re too old and that they should just give up sex – I say fuck that!”

        If I don’t take care of myself – even in this – who’s gonna do it for me?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I am glad to hear that you are a mentor, kdaddy! I have no doubt that you are having a very positive impact on this person’s life. I am also guessing that mentoring makes you feel good about yourself, which it should, and therefore is also a part of your self-care. As always, you make an excellent point….we must take care of ourselves! 🙂


              1. I like to think so, Nora. It’s one of the reasons I write my blog – which is also a part of my self-care regime; I get to get these things out of my head and it’s good physical therapy for me because of the stroke I had a decade ago. Because of that fateful event, I could be sitting on my ass feeling sorry for myself and all that but it doesn’t lend itself to self-care, does it?

                Liked by 1 person

  3. Running for me. It makes my body fit and makes me feel sexy. It empties my head at the same time let me think about a lot of stuff including sex. Sounds strange to say exercise is self care. Lately i have added writing to this as well. It’s cathartic and therapeutic. I am dealing with my life in a very constructive way… mostly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I absolutely agree with you that exercise is great self-care! For me, I LOVE zumba dance and it makes me feel alive and sexy, and like you said, clears my mind. I am glad to hear that you feel like you are dealing with your (complicated) life in mostly constructive ways. Thank you for stopping by, my friend! XOXO, nora

      Liked by 2 people

    2. I wish I could run. I enjoy the time doing it, but it makes my knees swell and ache. Too much impact, I think. I walk instead.
      I do think everyone is self care, even when you have to make yourself do it.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Swimming!! I swam competitively from the ages of 4-18. So the pool is my comfort zone. Really intense non running exercise. I’ve always hated running but everything else just gives me a release like nothing else. (Helps that my husband is an exercise aholic and begs me at least weekly to go workout with him. I’m also a creative person so I like to write when I have time. I’m also a very very sexual being. I like to read your content. And masturbate. I really like working. I live my job. The grind is my high. I love my dog. She’s my baby. Hot baths and face masks are my not so guilty guilty pleasure.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for sharing, Grace!!! During the summer months, swimming is definitely a part of my self care routine….I swim laps every single day. Sounds like we are two naughty girls who enjoy self-pleasure😘


      1. I totally forgot about cooking and baking too. Cleaning is something I absolutely hate. And therefor as part of our agreement don’t do. (I cook. He cleans) and you’re right about the naughty part. This girl needs her pleasure. And sometimes her sawyer isn’t there to do it for her.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I actually find cleaning somewhat cathartic. I enjoy cooking, but wouldn’t say it is part of my self-care, and I don’t do much baking. I find it fascinating how people can be so different in these ways😊


  5. Drawing, especially figure drawing, is a huge self care thing for me.
    So is walking, just around the neighborhood or through parks. Looking casual walls.
    Also visiting the woods and waterfalls. I need them. I need the moon also.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for sharing, minnie! I would love to hear more about your experience with the moon. Do you sit outside with the moon, or view it from within your home? What sorts of feelings do you get when you do this?


      1. There’s so much I don’t think I could share it all here. It started years ago. I watch it frequently, in sheet out of the house. I lose some connection living in the PNW, because of the cloud cover. When I lived in Fairbanks it was dark 24/7, and I would watch it all day and all night. I’ve come to really know the cycles, and be in tune with the science and visual of it all.

        Liked by 1 person

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