A sexy self-growth project- 30 days of D/s, part deux (Day 9) #18+, NSFW

Hello, my friends!

Almost four years ago, I participated in the Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s writing prompts and from this experience, I learned a lot about myself and about D/s.  Recently, I embarked on re-reading my former posts and realized that so much of what I have written in the past was either no longer relevant, or, my views on the topics had evolved into something else entirely.  I thought it might be fun to share my before and now posts, side by side.

Also, please note that while I refer to a Dominant as “He” and a submissive as “she” in my writing, this is only done to reflect my own experiences. I do not believe that either role is more inherent to a particular gender.

Keeping it kinky!

XOXO,

nora

Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s – Day 09

Do you know what your hard limits are? Are there a few things you’d like to try but you’re a little nervous? They’re such a big part of D/s and kink, it’s never a bad idea to think about them no matter where you are in your relationship.

January 23, 2021

Wow!  So much growth from May of 2017.  I am happy to report that we have tried all of my soft limits from that time and enjoyed most of them (my soft limits included wearing a collar, face fucking, and use of an anal hook).  Having Daddy forcefully fuck my mouth while gripping my hair is almost an indescribable feeling…feeling helpless, controlled, dominated, forced….this is incredibly erotic for me (but nice girls aren’t supposed to like such things😊).  Face fucking isn’t something he does often, but often enough to remind me that he is very much my Head of Household (HOH), and that I will respect and worship his cock when it pleases him.  We haven’t used the anal hook in some time but I do remember on one particular occasion, after I had been disrespectful, that Daddy laid me out on the couch on my tummy, fully nude after a good spanking.  He then placed cuffs on my wrists, inserted the anal hook, and cuffed my hands behind my back to the anal hook…basically rendering me helpless and unable to move without pulling on the hook.  That was a memorable lesson!  As for the collar…we have tried a variety of collars and it just isn’t my thing.  I love the idea of the collar, what it symbolizes, but I do not enjoy the physical sensation of wearing one.  When we were in Ireland, Daddy bought me a necklace that I refer to as my “Daddy necklace” and wear to demonstrate my respect for him.    

So…what are my hard limits now?  My hard limits include: beastiality, urine/feces play, mutilation, asphyxiation, needles, fire play, blood play, punching, cattle prods/electric shock devices, full body suspension, and whipping with bull whip.  

Soft limits: face slapping, light whipping/spanking of genitals, branding, chemical play (ex. icy hot), nipple clamps, public humiliation (done while out of town), enforced chastity, enemas, visible marks (ex. red skin from spanking below hemline), speech restriction, and use of demeaning terms (such as whore, cum slut, bitch, etc.…though I do like softer terms such as naughty girl, or young lady).

Some of you may be surprised by my lists and what I am willing and not willing to try, but please know that I greatly respect your right to whatever kink you are engaging in…and I LOVE to read about your experiences.  We all have our special brand of kinks.  For example, spanking is ALL about discipline for me, though I know that some people use it in strictly an erotic way.  And, my use of the word “Daddy” as a term of endearment…I know some people find this abhorrent.  But, I don’t… I use it as a loving term, which illustrates my respect for his role in my life.       

As I have tried all of my soft limits from 2017, I will hope to continue exploring in these areas.  Most of my hard limits, are still my hard limits, though I have added to that list as I continue to learn more and more.  I am grateful that Daddy and I are on the same page about these types of things, though…perhaps him pushing me out of my comfort zone could be fun as well 😊.      

    


May 2017

This is an interesting topic to me and one that I will openly admit, Daddy and I have not discussed much (though I am anxious to now!).  When I consider why this is, I feel that Daddy and I know each other so well we didn’t feel the need to talk about hard and soft limits.  Over the years, we have explored many different facets of our sexuality and we both have a pretty good understanding of what the other enjoys.  However, when I read through the kink checklist provided by Loving BDSM I realized that there are quite a few activities listed that we have never tried, some that I might like to try, and many that I will need to research as I have no clue as to what the activity is (what the heck is a Wartenberg Wheel???…note to self, must Google this later).

After reading through the checklist though, I realized that I do have some hard limits and I’m sure Daddy does as well.  I have zero interest in any kind of bathroom play…no golden showers here.  I am not interested in diaper play.  There will never be any kind of cutting or mutilation occurring in my marriage.  I am not interested in what I perceive to be negative name calling (i.e. being called a whore or a slut).  I am not interested in using duct tape during bondage play as it scares me.  I’ve never heard of mummification, but no thank you.  However, please note as you read this, I do not judge others who do enjoy these activities.  I have strange kinky fantasies and I respect the fact that you do too.  It is that kink that brings us together on WordPress and that is something of great value to me.

With regard to soft limits, there are things that are a little scary to me but that I might like to try.  I recently read about being collared.  This is something that Daddy and I have never done and I think that I might like that physical reminder around my neck of who I belong to.  However, I am really not interested in being led around like a puppy.  Another thing that I might like to try is face fucking.  Obviously, I give Daddy blow jobs, but what we have never tried is me kneeling before him and him actually fucking my mouth while fisting my hair.  This scares me a little…but I think I would like to try it, especially if it would please Daddy.  Another thing I might like to try is an anal hook.  I saw one of these for the first time in a sex shop and I couldn’t help but ask the lady working what people used it for.  She explained to me that it was to be inserted into one’s bottom and then it could be hooked to something (she gave the example of hooking it to hand cuffs or being used during suspension play…oh, suspension play might be another hard limit for me).

Overall, I look forward to continuing to explore kinkiness with Daddy.  I cannot wait to have a conversation with him about hard and soft limits, and read him the kink checklist, as perhaps there are kinks he would like to try that we have never even discussed.  What a conversation that will be

16 thoughts on “A sexy self-growth project- 30 days of D/s, part deux (Day 9) #18+, NSFW

Add yours

  1. I feel the same. I have my hard limits: pet play, urine and feces, knives, and anything that could easily requires hospitalization, and or special training. Soft limits of face slapping, whipping, and any gag that makes me slobber a lot. And probably more that I can’t think of off the top of my head

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I agree on the limit list thing there’s SO MANY! I’ve never used one of that kind of gag. But I’ve seen them. And having spit running down my face. And potentially choking on it. Is a no for this girl.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. We’ve decided, for safety reasons, not to use a gag if my hands are restrained….just in case. I’m not a huge fan of gags, but my husband likes to use a particular one (it’s a penis gag) for disrespect. It’s a very effective, symbolic punishment😊

          Liked by 1 person

          1. I’m sure that keeps you on your best behavior. Gags of any kind are a trigger for me. (I’m a sexual assault survivor) and he gagged me. I totally see the appeal behind them for some people. But we tried once and sawyer almost had to take me to the hospital because my panic attack got so bad.

            Liked by 2 people

  2. I have the same hard limits, and add that I would be too uncomfortable to call her demeaning things. From the beginning, we didn’t research kink. Most everything is from established fantasies of our youth, derived from experience or something we read about or saw in a movie that struck an erotic chord. My wife turned out to be kinkier than me, but nothing outside my comfort zone. For the soft limit type things, it’s just a matter of taking it slow and being careful. Pushing the envelope is part of creating excitement.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. It is interesting to see how you’ve grown. In the next three years I wonder where you will be… but regardless, it’s all good if you grow together!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Too many couples grow apart. I think that is largely preventable too. People grow apart because they stop spending time and doing things together. They stop sharing their dreams and hopes. So the connection can become severed.

        Liked by 1 person

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