A sexy self-growth project- 30 days of D/s, part deux (Day 5) 18+, NSFW

Hello, my friends!

Three years ago, I participated in the Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s writing prompts and from this experience, I learned a lot about myself and about D/s.  Recently, I embarked on re-reading my former posts and realized that so much of what I have written in the past was either no longer relevant, or, my views on the topics had evolved into something else entirely.  I thought it might be fun to share my before and now posts, side by side.

Also, please note that while I refer to a Dominant as “He” and a submissive as “she” in my writing, this is only done to reflect my own experiences. I do not believe that either role is more inherent to either gender.

Keeping it kinky!

XOXO,

nora

Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s – Day 05

Prompt: As a submissive, are you willing to allow a Dominant to discipline or punish you in your relationship? As a Dominant, are you willing to require discipline or give out punishment? What kinds of punishments can you imagine for bad behavior?

January 2021 

Well, this is one answer that hasn’t changed too much!  Yes, I am absolutely willing to allow a Dominant to discipline me, and in fact, I have realized… I could never enter into a D/s dynamic without a discipline component.  I could forgo the sex stuff (I know what you are thinking…is she crazy?), but I could never forgo the discipline.

Don’t ask me the why of it… but I CRAVE discipline.  Currently, Daddy and I are in a DD dynamic, which includes discipline for breaking rules that we have agreed to.  When and if I break one of our rules, Daddy might discipline me by spanking me, giving me corner time, washing my mouth out with soap, grounding me, assigning me to write lines or letters of apology, or restricting my sexual pleasure.

The short and skinny of it is that I long for a strong, authoritative figure in my life.  Someone who will “take me in hand” when necessary.  Someone who will teach me and who wants to push me to be the best version of myself.  Becoming the best version of me will most likely take a lot of discipline.  Discipline is good for me.  It is a positive element in my life. 

As I have learned, discipline is how I learn best 😊 

  

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May 2017

My first reaction when I read this prompt was, “Discipline?  Punishment? Yes, please!”.  I have ALWAYS found the idea of being disciplined attractive and spent most of my adult life craving a good, hard spanking for misbehavior. In fact, I spent some of my childhood dreaming about it as well.  I remember being as young as eight and looking up the word “spanking” in the dictionary, reading those words again and again.  I also remember drawing cartoon pictures depicting little girls getting spankings from their daddies.  I always ripped these up, not wanting to be found out, but the images that I drew are still there in my mind.  As a teenager, I remember nervously sharing with a boyfriend my desire to be spanked.  He never really did spank me, but the few slaps to my jeans he did give me really got me going.  But, that was never enough…what I actually craved was real discipline.

To address the discussion prompt, yes, I am more than willing to allow my Dominant, my Daddy, to discipline and punish me when he sees fit.  In our marriage, he is our head of household.  He watches me like a hawk and any time I cross the line he has drawn, I can expect to be disciplined accordingly.  Most times, this means a spanking.  But, Daddy uses other forms of discipline as well.  He is fond of corner time and anal discipline and I spend many evenings by his side wearing a plug to please him and remind me of my place within our relationship.  He also will discipline me by ordering me to remove my clothing and perform chores wearing only an apron.  And of course, there is ginger figging, mouth soaping, wearing a mouth bit, wrist restraints, the spreader bar, and writing lines as well.  Though Daddy mostly uses writing lines as a preventative discipline, keeping me in the submissive mindset.  I am asked to write lines for him several times per week, typically sitting at our dining room table, nude, and sometimes sitting on a plug.  The lines he assigns vary, but may be something like, “When I obey Daddy we are both happier” or “Submission is our way of life”, to be written anywhere from 25 to 100 times.  If I am to be spanked that night for misbehavior, he may assign lines related to the misbehavior, such as “I will never lie to my Daddy”.

Referring to the discussion prompt from yesterday, Daddy and I spent a lot of time negotiating this lifestyle when we first got started.  With regard to discipline, we started out slowly.  Daddy was a little nervous at first about truly hurting me, but (well, my butt anyway) soon he realized that there wasn’t lasting damage from spankings, even severe ones.  Yes, I may get a bruise or two, but they would fade quickly.  We would talk about the spankings and he would ask me if the spanking had been hard and/or long enough.  In the beginning, typically they weren’t.  I would communicate this and he adjusted his style and the length of the spankings.  He eventually learned that he shouldn’t stop when I begin crying and that when I began sobbing was when my real spanking should actually begin.  I am actually quite proud to say that my Daddy can deliver a spanking to my bottom that truly hurts, makes me cry, and makes me feel incredibly loved and cared for at the same time.  He is still working on his lecturing skills as we both now understand that the lecture is a critical part to the discipline.  After a really good lecture, I may be crying before my spanking even begins.  And always, after my spanking, he holds me and tells me how much he loves me.

Daddy uses a variety of implements when spanking me for misbehavior.  I must say, we have acquired quite the collection!  We have several different wooden paddles, which is my most feared implement.  We also have a leather strap and a tawse.  Then there is the flogger, two different types of leather paddles, the cane, and I can be sent to pick a switch from our apple tree at any time.  Lastly, there is a wooden hairbrush that stays on my nightstand to remind me to behave…Daddy loves to use this on my sit spot as he says it has just the right curvature.

While I have a rather high level of self-discipline, I crave discipline from my husband.  I need his rules and his instructions…this satisfies something deep inside me.  I need to be taken in hand when I misbehave.  I wish I could articulate why I need this, but to be honest, I’m not sure I truly understand why just yet… I just need it.  And, for the first time in my life, I am getting it…and that is a beautiful thing in my world.  Thank you for loving me enough, and being strong enough, to discipline me Daddy.