Keeping it Real #18+, NSFW

Hello, my kinky friends,

Lately, I’ve found myself thinking a lot about my writing style and what I share here on this blog.  While I do write spanking fiction (and yes, the next segment of A Work in Progress is on the way 😊), I tend to mostly write about my experiences with DD, D/s, sex, spanking, spanking, spanking…ooops, sorry…one track mind.  But…do I always share the good and the bad?  I’d say that I tend to mostly share the good about my dynamic with my husband, which fits with my personality as I am a very optimistic gal.  Recently, however, after reading a post by Marie, over at Loving my Disciplined Life, I realized that it is very helpful when others share both the ups and downs of their dynamics.  After all, life isn’t always rosy (though a submissive’s bottom should be, just sayin’ 😉).

Before I share a tale about Daddy and I’s domestic discipline blunder, let me update you on how my tail fared after failing in my little edging experiment last week 😊. 

If you were following along, Daddy was out of town last week for work.  I was tasked with consistently edging myself throughout the week, with the idea that he would give me a mind-blowing orgasm on Friday night when he returned.  Mind you, this was my first adventure into the wild world of edging and orgasm control.  And…I failed miserably!!! Wednesday night, while wantonly edging myself on my favorite dildo, I quite lost control of it all and an orgasm washed right over me, nearly drowning me after two days of straight edging.  I was honest with Daddy and told him what happened the next time that I talked to him.  I promise you, I did not intend to fail in this endeavor!  Trying to redeem myself, I began to edge myself again the next day (with better luck this time), hoping that he wouldn’t punish me too severely on Friday night.

Thankfully, I have a very understanding Daddy.  He recognized that I did not deliberately fail my experiment with orgasm control (it is pretty dang hard to recognize the brink of an orgasm while in the moment, people!).  While I was awarded a painful spanking (with the riding crop!), Daddy was more than happy to give me a good rogering as well.  And, it was quite intense after two days of edging (Wednesday night thru Friday night)!!!  His fingers tips on my skin felt electrical and when I came…well, let’s just hope the neighbors didn’t hear!  So, generally…my findings in this little experiment are 1) Controlling one’s orgasms is hard (no pun intended), and 2) Edging yourself relentlessly does lead to a pretty intense orgasm 😊. 

On to other matters…our DD blunder.  Awhile back, I shared Daddy and I’s DD contract here on my blog.  In this contract, it explicitly states that any disrespect on my part toward Daddy will lead to an automatic mouth soaping, and, most likely a spanking on top of that.  Let’s be honest guys…no one enjoys a mouth soaping.  I have never once read, on any of your blogs, “I can’t wait until my Dom/Domme washes my mouth out with soap”.  To me, this is a pretty harsh punishment as it is downright awful, which is why Daddy and I set it as an automatic punishment for disrespect…because disrespect is what I most want to work on.  So, with that rule in place, I have been a very, very good girl lately!

Until last night. 

I’ll set the scene for you.  Daddy was in one room, watching his football game (quite loudly!).  I, was in another room, trying to do Yoga for the first time in forever.  His game was dreadfully disturbing to this girl, who was trying to find inner peace through body movement.  It was then that I realized that my new noise cancelling headphones could be wireless if set up properly.  As I absolutely love listening to the piano radio station on Pandora (perfect for yoga!), I quickly set about trying to pair my new headphones to my cell phone, to no avail.  I quickly took my setup to Daddy, as he is very good with technology, and he set about working on it for me. 

This is where I need to get real my friends… I can be a very bad girl sometimes.  While Daddy had his game on pause and was trying to help me, I began to criticize him and get frustrated that he wasn’t figuring it out more quickly.  I also started trying to tell him how to do it (obviously, I didn’t know what I was doing).  Finally, after three attempts, Daddy had my cell phone and my headphones properly paired…at this point, you’d think that I would show him a little gratitude.  But no…this girl stomped out of the room, frustrated by how long it took to figure it out.  As I started to get my yoga video set up, I realized that Daddy’s game had not been turned back on.  That’s about the same time that he took me firmly by the arm, told me that he’d had it with my disrespectful mouth, and led me to our bedroom.  I was fully expecting to get my first mouth soaping.  He put me in the corner, yanked down my pants and panties, and told me to think about what had happened. 

When he returned, he held the acrylic paddle.  He asked me to tell him why I deserved a spanking.  Ashamed of myself, I confessed quite honestly to my misbehavior.  What ensued after was a very effective spanking to my bare seat.  I am still a bit sore today as I write this to you. 

But, after he was done delivering my spanking, he returned me to my yoga and he went back to his game.  While the lesson was learned, I felt a bit let down that he hadn’t followed through on the mouth soaping.  After all, what is the point of a contract if we don’t both adhere to it?  Now, here is where I get a few bonus points, my friends (see… I really can learn a lesson from a spanking!).  The “old me” would have criticized Daddy directly after my spanking, putting him down by pointing out that he was failing to uphold our contract.  Instead, the “slightly improved, with more self-control me” held her tongue, knowing that we had our weekly maintenance session that evening, which would be the appropriate time to bring something like this up.

And that is exactly what I did. 

In a respectful tone and manner, during our weekly maintenance conversation, I shared with Daddy that I was disappointed that he forgot that he was to give me a mouth soaping when I disrespected him.  This act…me, going to him in a respectful, non-critical way led to a very honest conversation between the two of us.  Daddy told me that he had not forgotten about the mouth soaping…but that when it came right down to it, he felt too nervous to actually follow through with it.  He shared with me that it was just too difficult for him to wash my mouth out with soap as he considers this a very severe punishment.  He also shared that he was worried I might get angry at him or resent him for it later.

After working through his feelings, together, we adopted a non-verbal safe action (like a safe word) that I am to use if a mouth soaping is just too much for me to handle.  I also spent much time reassuring him that this is truly what I want and that I will never resent him for trying to help me be a better wife and person.  As we always conclude our maintenance session with some sort of discipline, to reinforce our dynamic, we both decided that I was still deserving of the mouth soaping and that it would be an appropriate way to conclude our weekly maintenance.

And so…it was back to our bedroom and into the master bath. Daddy made me take down my pants and panties again, which made me feel very vulnerable, standing there exposed in front of him.  As he began to lather up the bar of soap, I began to get very nervous.  When he turned to me and told me to open my mouth, I began to cry and begged him not to do it.  He told me that he loved me but that we were doing this.

 

This time, when he told me to open my mouth, I obeyed. 

The bar of soap went in and he told me to bite down on the soap.

He then left the room to retrieve his phone.  He felt that a good use of my time, while I was standing there, bare bottomed and with a bar of soap in my mouth, was to listen to him read our contract.  This WAS effective and I promise you, this girl listened quite intently. 

I’m guessing that my mouth soaping discipline lasted about five minutes.  Probably not too horribly intense by most standards, but I will tell you…it was a TERRIBLE experience and one that I would very much like to avoid in the future.  After, Daddy did let me spit and rinse, for which I was grateful.  I can promise you that I will be more cognizant of how I speak to my Daddy in the future.  Not only will I speak to him with more respect, but I will also be grateful when he is kind enough to lend me a hand (rather than allow myself to grow more frustrated in the moment). 

So…there you have it my friends.  A real look into Daddy and I’s dynamic….the good, the bad, the ugly 😊.  If you and your partner struggle in your dynamic at times too, please know that you are not alone.  Living out a DD or D/s dynamic is hard work, and it takes a lot of open and honest communication.

Love you, Daddy ❤

Keeping it real and keeping it kinky!

XOXO,

Nora    

      

32 thoughts on “Keeping it Real #18+, NSFW

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  1. I am so very proud of how you handled that! You showed patience in waiting your maintenance session amd then shared your feelings respectfully. Just the fact that you talked to him about it is amazing. And I love how you guys worked through his feelings and that in the end the punishment was carried out. What a great learning and growing opportunity for you both! Well done!

    I also can relate to the tendency to only share the good stuff while blogging. I want to get better at sharing the good, the bed, and the ugly as well. Let’s work on this together, shall we my friend? Xoxo

    Liked by 6 people

  2. I’ve been thinking about trying to get sawyer into maintenance sessions. He’s tentative, because after having been the submissive one in the relationship dominating his girl makes him nervous. (He thinks I’ll resent him) but after reading this post I think I might broach the subject when he’s home.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Another thing you might try, Grace, is finding posts (like this one) that talk about this. It might help normalize it for him and give him cause to feel less tentative. Wishing you the best of luck, my friend😘

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Thank you doll. His biggest fear is that he will hurt me. (And I love him for it) but sometimes I just want to be taken in hand and spanked. Anyone else understand that? Where like I’m craving it.

        Liked by 6 people

        1. I most certainly understand that, Grace Marie! There is a powerful release that comes with that kind of pain. While I honestly don’t like spankings once they have started (it freaking hurts!), I crave being soundly spanked all the time.

          Liked by 3 people

          1. Oh girl. I love all parts of it. I love the lead up. (When I’ve asked for one not when I’ve misbehaved. That sucks) when you’re in the corner and you can hear all the items going behind you. Then you go over the knee which is so connecting and freeing. And the aftercare is the best part. He knows that him leaving after makes me upset and nervous. So it’s straight to after care for this girl! And that post spanking feeling where all is forgiven. There’s nothing like it.

            Liked by 3 people

              1. The best is aftercare. Having him cuddle and rub your back until you stop crying, saying he loves you, and then sometimes rubbing some cream on your hot and beet read behind. There is nothing like it.

                Liked by 3 people

                  1. Sexually sure. But disciplinary no. And yes we have gotten to beet red hot bottoms (on my part) he’s gentle but he knows how to make this little girl’s bottom burn.

                    Liked by 3 people

        2. Completely! It took me a long time to convince Tom I could take the pain of a caning from him. Even though he knows how much it helps me, he still hesitates to go for the cane. I actively crave the feeling it gives me and I’ve tried to explain it to him but it comes out as ‘I just want more pain!’ We talk about it a lot and explore the reasons behind my needs and while he’s getting better at accepting that, I still have to ask a few times before it happens. By then it’s all I can think about!

          Liked by 2 people

          1. I had a similar experience with my hubby. He would spank me, but not nearly to the degree that I needed to be spanked. On the other hand, it is also a “be careful what you wish for” situation…now he spanks me to tears regularly and each and every time I have to remind myself that I need this.

            Liked by 3 people

        3. I can relate a 100% I have alway’s been submissive by nature and everday I crave a spanking. I feel I need 1 and my husband is NOT ON BOARD with it, he says we are created equal and he will never dominate me in this way. I know I need a spanking, I would feel more secure knowing that he would deliver if I need him too. I will pray for you and you pray for me.

          Liked by 3 people

  3. Wow, I love your level of honesty, no way would I have mentioned soap to Tom. Not ever! I completely understand why you did though, if it’s there in your contract you have to know that the threat will be carried out or else it’s no longer a threat and behaviour begins to slide because of it. As you say, open and honest communication between you both is the key to making your DD dynamic work well.
    As an aside, I just ordered an acrylic paddle spanking from your Daddy for you for tattling to Tom on me! Great minds think alike!!!
    I responded to your other comment before I read your new post! So, we are both with hot tushes today although my mouth is still full of mucky words and staying that way! 😛
    Love this post Nora, and I’m so happy Daddy gave you your much needed super orgasm at the end of last week’s very frustrating edging experience! Will you edge again though? Was it worth the frustration? 💋💋💋

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Gemma! I’m sure my Daddy will see this comment and this girl will end up with a sore bottom for her tattling. And actually…we are right in the middle of another edging experiment!!! Daddy is home this week to supervise 🙂 While I don’t want to do this all the time, I did want to give edging another go….the orgasm is definitely worth the frustration!!!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Good good, we gotta keep this matching red bottom thing going 🍑🍑🍑 💋 I’m so glad you’re doing the edging again, it is truly worth the effort! I won’t promise to calm Karla down though, and you have to read her next instalment tomorrow. Everything crossed and think bunnies 🤣🤣🤣😂💋

        Liked by 2 people

          1. Next installment is up and posted Nora! Legs crossed, think bunnies, kittens, not spanking or red bottoms or hot steamy sex with Daddy, definitely don’t think about Tom spanking my bottom over and over again because I ordered your spanking with the acrylic paddle. Don’t think about that at all! 😛 😛 😛 😛 xxx

            Liked by 2 people

  4. Every relationship has its ups and downs.

    I think sometimes we choose to share the mostly the good about our relationship out of honour for our partner. But being open that there are challenges to work on together, times when we need to use honest communication with our partner to make sure problems don’t fester is important.

    Being in a relationship is so wonderful but it takes a lot of work. It’s not a fairytale.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. No, real life is definitely not a fairytale! Almost 20 years of marriage has shown my hubby and I how much work it takes to sustain a long-term connection like ours. There have been good years, and bad years…but mostly good ones. While trust and respect are definitely high on the list of things necessary for a long-term relationship, I think forgiveness is one of the biggies too… I don’t mean forgiveness for doing something wrong, but more forgiveness in your heart for all the times your partner doesn’t meet your expectations (I think women are especially guilty of having per-conceived expectations of their guys). In any case…it has been one wild journey! I can honestly say that there is no one else that I would rather share my life with ❤

      Liked by 4 people

      1. ❤ So beautiful ❤

        I am sure that in the case of Ben and me….it is he who has to be the bigger forgiver. He is so good to me. I remember always how much he has overlooked and try to use that gratitude to give more back to him.

        Liked by 4 people

  5. Yes and no. I’m a pretty good girl. (Most of the time) and so I don’t get disciplined much. But sometimes I get into crazy subspace where I just crave and crave and crave his discipline. Do You get what I’m saying?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Absolutely! In our arrangement, I am to ask for a spanking when I am feeling this way. So, it’s not for discipline (because I wasn’t naughty), but the spanking is just as hard to still provide the much needed release.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Again, I can tell you that the first time you get the soap in the mouth treatment, it’s usually the last time you get it because you learn not to do or say anything to cause a repeat of that. I barely remember the whole incident but I do remember my mother saying something to me that I didn’t like and I blurted out, “Shit!”

    Oops. You can bet I never cursed in her presence again.

    Liked by 2 people

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