Keeping it Real #18+, NSFW

Hello, my kinky friends,

Lately, I’ve found myself thinking a lot about my writing style and what I share here on this blog.  While I do write spanking fiction (and yes, the next segment of A Work in Progress is on the way 😊), I tend to mostly write about my experiences with DD, D/s, sex, spanking, spanking, spanking…ooops, sorry…one track mind.  But…do I always share the good and the bad?  I’d say that I tend to mostly share the good about my dynamic with my husband, which fits with my personality as I am a very optimistic gal.  Recently, however, after reading a post by Marie, over at Loving my Disciplined Life, I realized that it is very helpful when others share both the ups and downs of their dynamics.  After all, life isn’t always rosy (though a submissive’s bottom should be, just sayin’ 😉).

Before I share a tale about Daddy and I’s domestic discipline blunder, let me update you on how my tail fared after failing in my little edging experiment last week 😊. 

If you were following along, Daddy was out of town last week for work.  I was tasked with consistently edging myself throughout the week, with the idea that he would give me a mind-blowing orgasm on Friday night when he returned.  Mind you, this was my first adventure into the wild world of edging and orgasm control.  And…I failed miserably!!! Wednesday night, while wantonly edging myself on my favorite dildo, I quite lost control of it all and an orgasm washed right over me, nearly drowning me after two days of straight edging.  I was honest with Daddy and told him what happened the next time that I talked to him.  I promise you, I did not intend to fail in this endeavor!  Trying to redeem myself, I began to edge myself again the next day (with better luck this time), hoping that he wouldn’t punish me too severely on Friday night.

Thankfully, I have a very understanding Daddy.  He recognized that I did not deliberately fail my experiment with orgasm control (it is pretty dang hard to recognize the brink of an orgasm while in the moment, people!).  While I was awarded a painful spanking (with the riding crop!), Daddy was more than happy to give me a good rogering as well.  And, it was quite intense after two days of edging (Wednesday night thru Friday night)!!!  His fingers tips on my skin felt electrical and when I came…well, let’s just hope the neighbors didn’t hear!  So, generally…my findings in this little experiment are 1) Controlling one’s orgasms is hard (no pun intended), and 2) Edging yourself relentlessly does lead to a pretty intense orgasm 😊. 

On to other matters…our DD blunder.  Awhile back, I shared Daddy and I’s DD contract here on my blog.  In this contract, it explicitly states that any disrespect on my part toward Daddy will lead to an automatic mouth soaping, and, most likely a spanking on top of that.  Let’s be honest guys…no one enjoys a mouth soaping.  I have never once read, on any of your blogs, “I can’t wait until my Dom/Domme washes my mouth out with soap”.  To me, this is a pretty harsh punishment as it is downright awful, which is why Daddy and I set it as an automatic punishment for disrespect…because disrespect is what I most want to work on.  So, with that rule in place, I have been a very, very good girl lately!

Until last night. 

I’ll set the scene for you.  Daddy was in one room, watching his football game (quite loudly!).  I, was in another room, trying to do Yoga for the first time in forever.  His game was dreadfully disturbing to this girl, who was trying to find inner peace through body movement.  It was then that I realized that my new noise cancelling headphones could be wireless if set up properly.  As I absolutely love listening to the piano radio station on Pandora (perfect for yoga!), I quickly set about trying to pair my new headphones to my cell phone, to no avail.  I quickly took my setup to Daddy, as he is very good with technology, and he set about working on it for me. 

This is where I need to get real my friends… I can be a very bad girl sometimes.  While Daddy had his game on pause and was trying to help me, I began to criticize him and get frustrated that he wasn’t figuring it out more quickly.  I also started trying to tell him how to do it (obviously, I didn’t know what I was doing).  Finally, after three attempts, Daddy had my cell phone and my headphones properly paired…at this point, you’d think that I would show him a little gratitude.  But no…this girl stomped out of the room, frustrated by how long it took to figure it out.  As I started to get my yoga video set up, I realized that Daddy’s game had not been turned back on.  That’s about the same time that he took me firmly by the arm, told me that he’d had it with my disrespectful mouth, and led me to our bedroom.  I was fully expecting to get my first mouth soaping.  He put me in the corner, yanked down my pants and panties, and told me to think about what had happened. 

When he returned, he held the acrylic paddle.  He asked me to tell him why I deserved a spanking.  Ashamed of myself, I confessed quite honestly to my misbehavior.  What ensued after was a very effective spanking to my bare seat.  I am still a bit sore today as I write this to you. 

But, after he was done delivering my spanking, he returned me to my yoga and he went back to his game.  While the lesson was learned, I felt a bit let down that he hadn’t followed through on the mouth soaping.  After all, what is the point of a contract if we don’t both adhere to it?  Now, here is where I get a few bonus points, my friends (see… I really can learn a lesson from a spanking!).  The “old me” would have criticized Daddy directly after my spanking, putting him down by pointing out that he was failing to uphold our contract.  Instead, the “slightly improved, with more self-control me” held her tongue, knowing that we had our weekly maintenance session that evening, which would be the appropriate time to bring something like this up.

And that is exactly what I did. 

In a respectful tone and manner, during our weekly maintenance conversation, I shared with Daddy that I was disappointed that he forgot that he was to give me a mouth soaping when I disrespected him.  This act…me, going to him in a respectful, non-critical way led to a very honest conversation between the two of us.  Daddy told me that he had not forgotten about the mouth soaping…but that when it came right down to it, he felt too nervous to actually follow through with it.  He shared with me that it was just too difficult for him to wash my mouth out with soap as he considers this a very severe punishment.  He also shared that he was worried I might get angry at him or resent him for it later.

After working through his feelings, together, we adopted a non-verbal safe action (like a safe word) that I am to use if a mouth soaping is just too much for me to handle.  I also spent much time reassuring him that this is truly what I want and that I will never resent him for trying to help me be a better wife and person.  As we always conclude our maintenance session with some sort of discipline, to reinforce our dynamic, we both decided that I was still deserving of the mouth soaping and that it would be an appropriate way to conclude our weekly maintenance.

And so…it was back to our bedroom and into the master bath. Daddy made me take down my pants and panties again, which made me feel very vulnerable, standing there exposed in front of him.  As he began to lather up the bar of soap, I began to get very nervous.  When he turned to me and told me to open my mouth, I began to cry and begged him not to do it.  He told me that he loved me but that we were doing this.

 

This time, when he told me to open my mouth, I obeyed. 

The bar of soap went in and he told me to bite down on the soap.

He then left the room to retrieve his phone.  He felt that a good use of my time, while I was standing there, bare bottomed and with a bar of soap in my mouth, was to listen to him read our contract.  This WAS effective and I promise you, this girl listened quite intently. 

I’m guessing that my mouth soaping discipline lasted about five minutes.  Probably not too horribly intense by most standards, but I will tell you…it was a TERRIBLE experience and one that I would very much like to avoid in the future.  After, Daddy did let me spit and rinse, for which I was grateful.  I can promise you that I will be more cognizant of how I speak to my Daddy in the future.  Not only will I speak to him with more respect, but I will also be grateful when he is kind enough to lend me a hand (rather than allow myself to grow more frustrated in the moment). 

So…there you have it my friends.  A real look into Daddy and I’s dynamic….the good, the bad, the ugly 😊.  If you and your partner struggle in your dynamic at times too, please know that you are not alone.  Living out a DD or D/s dynamic is hard work, and it takes a lot of open and honest communication.

Love you, Daddy ❤

Keeping it real and keeping it kinky!

XOXO,

Nora