Back to the basics! #18+, NSFW

Hello, my friends!

It has been quite some time since I wrote an open and honest account of Daddy and I’s journey with our respective roles as Dominant and submissive in our dynamic.  I realize that I tend to mention the sexy, kinky stuff more…you know, the stuff that comes easy to us…public spankings, erotic blowjobs, and mind-blowing sex (which may or may not have been witnessed by a naughty maid 😊) rather than the nuts and bolts of how challenging it can be to actually make a D/s dynamic work.  Last week though, while driving through the Nevada desert on our vacation (not much to see out there, folks) we had a very insightful conversation as to how we would both like to see our dynamic evolve. 

The thing is…D/s hasn’t been working for us for some time now.  We have had many stops and starts, which has proven frustrating to us both.  Recently, we were provided with some very wise advice by our good friends, Implacable and his lovely wife, who have come to know us and our dynamic quite well.  Recognizing that while D/s may not necessarily suit us at this point in our lives, Implacable suggested that we might return to our roots…domestic discipline (DD).  For those of you who have been following me from the conception of this blog, you might remember that Daddy and I started this journey by incorporating domestic discipline into our marriage.  It was only later that we began to move away from DD and more into the D/s realm.  While there are many elements of D/s that I find quite attractive, it requires a great deal of thought, time, and consistency on behalf of the Dominant.  At this point in our lives, and where we are both at as people, we just kept hitting a wall with regard to D/s.  So, I am happy to report that we are both quite pleased to be resuming our DD journey!

Over the last few years, I think Daddy and I have both learned a lot about ourselves…our strengths, our weakness, and our true desires.  I have learned that I crave being held accountable and that I need to know that there are consequences for my actions should I choose to make poor decisions or engage in unacceptable behaviors.  Daddy has learned that he struggles to make on the spot decisions (with regard to discipline and consequences).  He also tends to be a bit of a softie and he will be the first to admit that his first inclination is almost always to give me a second chance, which isn’t helpful to either of us.  To address both our needs, we decided to lay everything out and we drew up an official contract to serve as our guide on this journey.  We took the process of creating this contract quite seriously and we are both very pleased with the outcome.  Having received permission from Daddy to share, here is our official DD contract.  You will note that it is good for one month and at that time, we will decide whether to nix it all together or if we are really on to something 😊

Domestic Discipline Contract:

Between Daddy & Nora

This contract is between Daddy (Head-of-Household) and Nora (his respectful wife) and will be observed for one month (expires 11/22/20).  This contract is intended to bring peace and harmony to their household, and to meet their individual needs.  Daddy is seeking validation as an equal partner, deserving of respect, and capable of making sound decisions.  Nora is seeking self-improvement (i.e. learning to be less critical, speaking with more respect, becoming more open to opposing ideas or ways of doing things, and displaying a softer demeanor) through accountability to the agreed upon rules.  Daddy and Nora agree to discuss her progress each week on Sunday.  At that time, this contract may be modified if both parties are in agreement.  This weekly discussion will be concluded with any of the agreed upon discipline listed below to reinforce Daddy’s position as Head-of-Household, and Nora’s position as his respectful wife.          

Rules

At all times, Nora will display a respectful attitude and speak respectfully to Daddy.

Nora will make the bed and clean the kitchen each day before 5pm.

Nora will complete her To-Do list each day or reach out to Daddy prior to him getting off work with a request for an extension due to unforeseen circumstances.

Nora will always check-in with Daddy when leaving the house. 

Nora will watch no more than 30 minutes of television during the workday, twice per week, on the downstairs TV.

Nora will seek permission from Daddy before engaging in any acts of sexual self-pleasure.

Nora will immediately self-report any infractions of the agreed upon rules.

Nora will not argue with Daddy regarding infractions or consequences but will submit to his authority immediately.     

Consequences for Breaking a Rule

A spanking

A lecture

Corner time

Grounding

Writing lines or a letter of apology.

Automatic mouth soaping for any disrespect.

For repeated offenses within the same week, Daddy may choose to deny self-pleasure for up to 48 hours.

Well, there you have it my friends…the nuts and bolts of our DD dynamic!  Wish me luck…I am really hoping to avoid the soap at all costs 😊

Keeping it kinky!

XOXO,

Nora

27 thoughts on “Back to the basics! #18+, NSFW

Add yours

  1. Umm Nora? does Asking Daddy before seeking sexual self pleasure include reading naughty/erotic stories written by your friends? Just askin’ for a friend…
    Seriously, I think this is a wonderful way to bring about clarity in your relationship, I’m just not mentioning it to Tom based on the fact my ass would be toast constantly ! 💖💖

    Liked by 3 people

    1. LOL… I knew you would pick up on that, my friend! I have always been very careful to not give up control of that part of my life (self-pleasure)…but he really wanted it in there, and…it will be a very motivating factor to behave myself. But, if ever I am grounded from self-pleasure, I may have to forgo visiting WordPress that day…that would just be pure torture for this girl! Especially with the way you write 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Wow, that’s enough incentive to make me behave like a Nun! In fairness, I think I would be a very naughty Nun but a Nun nonetheless! 😛 xx
        I hope the simplification of your relationship dynamic makes things easier for you both. Your Daddy sounds like a real nice gent so I’m sure he will only use that punishment if you’ve been particularly naughty.
        I can’t promise I will be any help though, I am writing up a storm at the moment… just sayin… Much love 💖😋

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Oooooh…. I can’t wait to ready the stories that come from that very naughty mind, my friend! You are so wicked. And yes…my Daddy is a very nice gent…too nice at times! This girl needs a strict, stern Daddy to keep her in line 🙂

          Liked by 2 people

    1. Time will tell! We are committing to this contract for one month. While we can make changes along the way if we both agree, neither of us will abandon the idea until we have given it a full month trial. I am excited 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I hope that this works out for you, presuming that it has a good chance as you have done it before. This definitely would not work for me as I would be happy to break the rules and take the consequences 🙂 If I ever find myself in a relationship I think that I might ask for some sort of disciplinary reward system. As in, I complete the task or reach the goal and am rewarded with fun CP interaction. Each has to find their own way me thinks.

    Prefectdt

    Liked by 2 people

    1. LOL…this comment gave me a giggle, Prefectdt! I know it might seem that my kink is spanking (in a way, it is)…but what really gets me going is being held accountable to a strong male or female authority figure. My biggest desire is to please this person and so I’m not one to break the rules on purpose. In any case… I think Daddy and I will find success on this journey and I know that if I stray too far from the path, his granite palm will get me right back in line 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I wonder if it would be helpful for others to show or list their rules?

    By the way, I love your words, You said, “it requires a great deal of thought, time, and consistency on behalf of the Dominant.” Your desire for consistency, reminds me of Dr Dorothy Spencer words.
    Dr Spencer said, On the other hand – after a definite list of CAUSES has been established – don’t be lax in administering the discipline,,,. When a cause has been violated – there is a NEEDS the discipline – see to it that they get it. Don’t be lenient or lax – for their sake! It is the only way you can truly help them.
    Dr Dorothy Spencer also suggest making a list of rules and making an agreement and signing it (she also suggested displaying the agreement for anyone coming into your home to see)

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Here is an example of my most common rules (rules are subject to review and change)

    1. Not to be late. not late for dates. not late to Work, not late to Church, not late to Dr appointments
    2. Don’t cause our checking account to be overdrawn (one spank per dollar charged to us)
    3. Spending limits (not more than 200.00 without discussing it with him. or 300 dollars in day (except at Christmas time))
    4. No cussing in front of children 
    5. No yelling at my husband. 
    6. No nagging, no bitching.
    7. keeping promises to him or other people.
    8. No lying.  Including lies of omission (example not telling him I got a speeding ticket, to avoid a spanking)
    9. If out with girl friends, be home by 10:00 or calling him.
    10. Don’t  break traffic  laws or any other law. (Including God’s laws (ten Commandments, plus))
    11. Accepting my punishment without a fuss, cooperating with my spanking.
    12. No spanking of the children without a warning or breaking a standing rule for them. (Don’t spank while mad)
    13. Never wear pantyhose or even bring pantyhose into our home. 
    14. Be respectful of all people,  most of all my husband.
    15. Go to Church every Sunday  (Church and Sunday School)

    Liked by 3 people

    1. That is a pretty thorough list, johnsonjelena!!! How do you do with these rules? Are you able to mostly abide by them? And I can’t help but ask…what is the pantyhose rule all about? Thank you for sharing your list with my readers…this definitely adds to the conversation 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Being late was always a problem for me, Spanking started because I was always late for our dates.
    Being over drawn may have got me the most spanking.
    Keep promises, I had to learn the hard way, not to over commit.
    Pantyhose- he was a stocking and garter belt man. He said he wanted fast access to my bottom for either spanking or sex (not another layer to deal with)
    Everything on that list I had a problem with at one time or another. Ask me more questions, if needed, I love questions?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for providing more information, my friend! I can certainly understand your husband not wanting to deal with an unnecessary layer of clothing between him and your bottom 🙂 So…since you began implementing spanking, have you gotten better at being on-time?

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I think DD is the way to go for someone who craves discipline. The contract itself is a demonstration of discipline that provides the unambiguous and consistent regime of order, authority and control under which all the expression of discipline can live effectively. If and when punishment is required, it will feel more legitimate and real as part of how things have been set up to work in your home. Without the contract, and the careful thought that went into it, punishment might seem more arbitrary. There is a higher chance that discipline might be neglected when the responsibilities of authority are not clearly articulated. To me, DD is a very special branch of BDSM that requires its own mindset and set of conditions and circumstances to fulfill a need that goes well beyond play. The emotions are a genuine product of real life.

    As one possible aspect of DD, I think the control of sexual self-pleasure can be a positive. Under that control, pleasure can be greater when it is allowed. It’s a matter of finding the right balance where you don’t become too frustrated with the restriction. Depending on how rigid you want the control to be, the punishment for breaking the rule must be measured so as to provide the most effective incentives. Knowing a spanking is the risk can also enhance self-pleasure.

    Liked by 1 person

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