Today I am feeling pretty down on myself. I made some bad decisions yesterday, and I’m still not quite sure why. Sub frenzy, maybe? I have been on this roller coaster of emotions the last two weeks…up, down, sideways…
In any case, my husband is coming home from a work trip tonight and we have some things to talk about. Well, more like I have a confession to make to him. He is not going to be pleased. This is a pretty big deal as it is about breaking trust. I did something that I am not proud of and am very disappointed in my actions.
Yesterday, when I was trying to figure out why I did what I did, I couldn’t find the answer as all I could see were my own needs. I acted very selfishly with little regard to how this might hurt my husband and others. In retrospect, I should have slowed down and thought things through, rather than allowing myself to act on emotion. This is very uncharacteristic of me. I suppose that is why I was floating the idea of sub frenzy out there. This may not have to do with my physical safety, but definitely me putting my emotional wellness and my integrity at risk.
In any case, I know this is all very cryptic. I’ll talk to Daddy tonight and hopefully we can straighten everything (including me) out. He is my rock and I know that no matter how badly I mess up, I can always find solace in his arms.
Much love,
nora
Finding Strength in my Submission 
I don’t know a whole lot about this but isn’t there some kind of… mechanism that kicks in when it becomes, I dunno, an imperative that you take care of a need you have that supports your emotional wellness? Not saying that whatever you did is going to go unpunished – that seems to be a part of this whole thing you and many others are into – but in these things, does a submissive ever “get a pass” in this situation… and no matter what you did that was wrong/selfish but it didn’t put you at risk?
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Hi kdaddy! There are definitely mechanisms in dealing with this sort of thing in D/s. And yes, there are definitely special circumstances in which a Dominant and submissive may chose not to utilize punishment. Unfortunately, what I was referring to above is something that goes much deeper than our D/s issue, and my husband is choosing to not use D/s as a solution in this matter. Just good old fashioned talking it out with one another.
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I’d hoped so! No matter what we’re into, we still have to take care of ourselves outside of whatever rules are in place. And I do hope that whatever it was gets resolved amiably.
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kdaddy,
I have faith that it will. My husband takes a bit longer than I do to process his emotions. I just need to be patient and give him time.
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Understood.
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