As my husband and I venture into the D/s lifestyle again, we are taking it slow. Slow can be frustrating at times, but I recognize that after all we have been through, “slow” enables us to navigate a new (and hopefully better!) D/s dynamic. After all, as people, we are ever-changing, and our marriage continues to grow and change as well. One of the things that is different this time around is that I am not experiencing “sub frenzy”, and I’m not constantly pushing my husband for new experiences and attention. I am able to be patient and see where he takes us and in that way, he is becoming more dominant and more confident as a leader. A lot of our earlier experiences always felt “manufactured”… that we had talked out different scenarios or punishments to such an extent that when they happened, it felt like he was just doing what I wanted and the element of surprise and the thrill that accompanies surprise wasn’t present.
My husband dominating me is just about the sexiest thing ever…even when it hurts, or is humiliating, etc. His way of dominating me feels more genuine now. For example, the other night, we were taking down our Christmas decorations and I was becoming a bit bossy and directive (very bad habit of mine). To my complete surprise, my husband stopped, took my hand, and led me into the bathroom in our bedroom. At this point, I was getting nervous as I knew this probably meant that I had discipline coming. Based on past experiences, I was assuming it would be an anal plug, as he had already had a few drinks that night and he never spanks me after he’s been drinking. However, I was shocked (and dismayed!) when he pulled out a fresh box of soap. On the box of soap was a post-it note that I had written about a year ago, which read “For when I disrespect you”.
Holding the box, he said, “read this note to me”.
I obeyed and read the note aloud. “For when I disrespect you”.
“Are you showing me respect tonight?” he asked.
I shook my head, my eyes now full of tears. “No, Sir”.
“No, you are not. I am going to let you off easy tonight and not lather this bar of soap, but you will sit and hold it in your mouth and think about how you promised to always show me respect”. That said, he led me over to the bench at the foot of our bed and told me to sit down. He then commanded me to open my mouth. I really didn’t want to and he had to repeat the request. Begging on my part did not change his mind. He inserted the soap into my mouth.
Needless to say, I was sorry. And, I was much more careful how I spoke to him that night. And, I was impressed…impressed by how he took me in hand, impressed by how confident he was, and impressed by how he didn’t back down. This was exactly what I was wanting from D/s…I just had to be patient enough to wait for it…to wait for him to be ready and to give him the space to grow into the Dominant we both want him to be.
It was worth the wait!
Thank you for sticking with me, readers! Hoping this blog gets sexier over time.