Putting the past in the past

Over the weekend, I wrote about some emotional events that Daddy and I experienced together, in our younger years.  I also shared that we had decided to use our D/s relationship in a way which would allow us to move forward and let go some of the pain associated with these events.  And, I am happy to say…that it truly has helped!

On Sunday evening, Daddy told me that “it was time” and that I was to go and wait for him in our bedroom, nose in the corner and pants and panties pulled down.  I’m not sure exactly how long I stood there, but it was for a fair amount of time.  I used that time to think about my actions and the lies that I had told Daddy.  When he finally came in, I was close to tears all on my own.

He took me by the hand and led me to our bed.  He placed me face down and raised my shirt high on my back and lowered my panties even farther.  He then headed to our closet to retrieve his implements of choice, which included the wooden paddle and the cane.  I was a bit terrified when I saw the cane as he recently decided that if it isn’t leaving red welts, that he isn’t applying the cane correctly.

Daddy began to lecture me, and I felt the tears well up in my eyes again.  I was projected back to the time period which this happened, and the guilt overwhelmed me.  He told me that he was “doing this for us, so we can heal” and he began to spank me with his hand.  Usually his hand doesn’t hurt that much, but this time, I was crying and squirming before he even picked up the paddle.

If I thought I was experiencing the pain of a spanking then, there is nothing that really compares to the first swat with a wooden paddle.  I cried out, but the swats continued to rain down upon my defenseless bare bottom and thighs.  I was trying to be a good girl and hold still, but I know that I was wiggling all over the place.  I did maintain my hands above my head on the bed and managed not to reach back during the paddling.  This went on for several minutes and lots of tears were cried.

When he finally laid down the paddle, he began to lecture me again.  He told me that we were letting this all go and that we were moving forward.  He told me that he always wanted me to be honest with him, no matter what it was.  And, he told me that he loved me, right before he picked up the cane.

“You are getting ten and you will count them,” he said.

“Yes, Sir,” I managed between my tears.

And, one by one, Daddy laid ten perfect stripes upon my bottom.  It hurt so badly and I did reach back once.  Daddy smacked my thigh and warned me against disobedience during a spanking.  He continued until he had delivered the ten promised, allowing me to cry it out into the pillow.  When finished, he began to rub my back and tell me that everything would be okay.  He left me there for a few minutes while he put the implements away.  When he returned, he asked me to stand up, and I saw that he was holding my leather cuffs in his hands.

“You will wear these the remainder of the evening, to remind you that I am in charge of this relationship and that you belong to me.  It is also a reminder of my love and that you have been forgiven,” he said as he affixed the cuffs to each wrist.

“And, to complete this discipline, you will write me an apology letter which his due by the time that I get home tomorrow.”

Finally, I was in his arms, and I sobbed there…telling him how sorry I was.  He stroked my hair and my bottom and held me.

My heart began to lighten.  We were finally on our way from moving past this.

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By now, I have written and submitted my apology letter to Daddy…but let’s save that for another post, shall we?

Happy reading and writing, my friends!  Thank you for sharing in my journey 🙂

Love, nora