TMI Tuesday- Self-reflection

Hello my friends!  While all is quiet on the D/s front in our household, I am enjoying participating in TMI Tuesday!  Thank you for reading…even when it’s not the sexy stuff 🙂

Love, nora

1. Do you think that fate or destiny play a role in love?
   a. Absolutely
   b. For the most part
   c. Somewhat
   d. Not really
   e. Not at all

I am a romantic at heart, and yes, “for the most part” I do believe that destiny has played a role in my love life.  Daddy and I both remember seeing each other one afternoon while it was snowing, though we didn’t meet again and start dating for a couple of years.  When we re-met, sparks flew, and we’ve been together ever since.

2. True or False – If my sexual likes and dislikes are not in line with my partners, I change them.

Ummm….true and false?  Part of being in a loving, long-term relationship is trying to meet your partner’s needs.  So…true, I do try to keep my sexual likes and dislikes in line with my Daddy’s (and vice versa), but…false also.  For example, if part of his sexual likes included things like cutting or pee play (which are both hard limits for me), I would not be able to meet these needs.  Thankfully, we’re almost always on the same page about what we’d like to experience and experiment with, sexually.

3. You and your partner are at a party. Both of you are equally acquainted with the hosts and the other people attending, although you aren’t the best of pals with any of the guests, you have conversed with them on a few occasions. During the socializing, what would you most likely do?
   a. I’d stay glued to my partner’s side, conversing with the same people he/she is.
   b. I’d be away from my partner, mingling with the other guests.
   c. I’d stay near my partner, but involved in different conversations.
   d. I spend some time by my partner’s side, and some time mingling.
   e. I let my partner drift or stick by me – as she/he wishes.

This is an incredibly boring question.  We drift or stick as we please.  This could be made more interesting in a D/s context.  Let’s say Daddy made it a rule that I am to be within arm’s length at all times and that I must request permission to do otherwise…now that would be fun!

4. Have you ever gone through your partner’s journal, diary or personal letters?
   a. Yes – I‘ve read it/them from A to Z.
   b. Yes – I’ve read some of it/them.
   c. I know where she/he keeps them but I haven’t read any.
   d. I know where she/he keeps them – I couldn’t help but look – but I haven’t read any.
   e. No – I don’t know where she/he keeps them, and I have no intention of looking.
   f. No – I don’t know she/he keeps them, even though I’ve looked.

My husband doesn’t keep a journal or a diary, but I’ll admit, if he did, I would certainly want to read it!  Though I wouldn’t, without permission.  My husband admitted that he did read my journal once and that he broke into my email once, prior to marriage.  At the time I was upset, but looking back I completely understand…at that time, I was giving him a lot to be jealous about. At this point in our lives, we have a completely open, no privacy practice in place.  If he wanted to read my journal, I would let him.  In fact, I think I would welcome it as it would allow him to see parts of me that are difficult to communicate.

5. Have you ever had a romantic partner go through your journal, diary, personal letters or text messages without your permission? How did you feel? What did you do?

Last week, I wrote a little about my college boyfriend.  We were desperately in love (I use “desperate” in a very negative context here…not a healthy relationship at all), but were just too different to make a go at things.  A couple of years after we had broken up, we saw one another and had an honest chat about our former relationship.  He admitted to me that he had read my diary one night after I had fallen asleep.  He said it had broken his heart as he read page after page about how different we were and how I believed we needed to break up, but that it was too hard.  He said that is when he knew our relationship would eventually end.  Knowing this later, that he had invaded my privacy, didn’t really bother me.  What he saw was a glimpse into my true feelings…feelings I was too afraid to communicate.  It did make me realize that I shouldn’t leave my journal at my bedside though…just too tempting for some.  While I don’t really mind my partner reading my journal, I wouldn’t want a houseguest or someone else to read it.

Bonus:  What makes you feel loved?

If you’ve never read, “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman, I suggest that you do so immediately.  My love language is described as “Acts of Service”.  I feel most loved when my partner is doing some sort of service for me…this might include fixing something, building something, helping me with a project, etc.  I view it as the gift of one’s own time and for me, nothing is more precious than that.  How I communicate love is a bit different though.  While I like to complete acts of service for others, I also show affection through gift giving.  I really enjoy picking something out for someone that will greatly surprise them, make them feel special, etc.