Where in the world is naughtynora (with regard to her submission)?

Hello friends!  Life has been a crazy whirlwind of events, thankfully, most of them positive ones.  I haven’t been here on WordPress nearly enough.  With Daddy traveling for work this week, I find myself with a bit more time on my hands and I’d like to use some of that time this morning for self-reflection.  After reading ddjennifer’s latest post, I felt inspired to think about where I am at with regard to my submission in my marriage.

In February 2017, I approached my husband with the idea of incorporating domestic discipline (DD) into our marriage.  I was frustrated with myself, my inability to pull myself out of depression, and my lack of motivation in most areas of my life.  After stumbling upon a website that discussed the idea of DD, and considering my life-long fascination with spanking, I asked my husband if he would be willing to hold me accountable.  After many, many discussions on the topic, he agreed to give it a try.  That is a long story made short.

Over the course of the year (and many spankings), we researched, experimented, and learned a lot about ourselves and each other.  What I have learned about myself (which isn’t exactly news to me), is that I have the tendency to be very controlling.  I want to plan out every detail of every single thing and I assume, mistakenly, that because I think through everything so much, that my perspective must be automatically right.  This brings an incredible amount of stress on to myself, which I then take out on…you guessed it… my spouse.  We lived this cycle for 14 years together.  We survived Hurricane Nora (being controlling can be deadly to a marriage, hence the metaphor), but just barely.  There were years of resentments, on both sides.  Not a way to live if you ask me.

I feel that I have come a long way in the last year.  I am much more reflective on my automatic thoughts and behaviors.  I am more aware that what I think and feel are my perspectives, and not my husband’s.  I am learning to value his perspective, even when I disagree with him (a work in progress).

What would I like to see more of from myself this year?  I would like to continue to work on a more submissive mindset.  I still frequently fall into the trap of wanting to control my environment.  I would like to become better at stepping back and encouraging my husband to take the lead.  I would like to show more respect for his opinions and actions, period.  I would like to learn that my way is not always the “right” way…because truthfully, it’s not.  I know that this is true, but in the heat of the moment it is very difficult to remember at times…

How to get there?  When Daddy returns from his work trip, I think we should sit down and have a long conversation about what we are doing right and what we can do better.  I would like to have a better understanding of what he wants from me and my submission to him.  I would like to communicate to him how I want to work on showing him more respect and I need to communicate to him that I need more discipline.  I have many goals right now (personal, academic, professional) and I desperately need his support (holding me accountable) in achieving those goals.

So…there you have it.  Where in the world am I with regard to my submission?  Not nearly as far along as I would like to be.  But I am motivated to do better and spend more time on my knees for Daddy!  Yes, had to throw in a dirty pun for your enjoyment 🙂

Thank you for reading and happy writing 🙂

Love, nora

22 thoughts on “Where in the world is naughtynora (with regard to her submission)?

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  1. Nora, it took me awhile to change from a leader in a stressful career to a submissive. Now, I feel the change on about 85% complete. I doubt it will ever be 100%. I still have things I want to do my way, but yield on everything like I told her I would. I decide on very little now, not even if I am to wear underwear or not. I present my ass for regular maintenance spankings and the occasional discipline spanking. When I disagree and blow up or vent my opinions, I always make sure I am alone and she is unaware of my tantrums. The process you describe is a slow one and will take much more time than the 1 year you have been trying it. Best of luck to you and keep at it. A well run DD relationship is wonderful and I would never change things back to being in charge.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much for this insight, spankedcowboy! Sometimes I feel like I am failing, or flailing….and at other times I feel like I have come a long way. But, at least the journey has been one heck of a ride!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Don’t think of it as a destination, but a journey. It’s challenging for those used to functioning in control to have to give that up. When we aren’t in control, we feel anxious and out of our comfort zone. But if it’s truly something you desire, keep plugging away girl! Xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, sayyidsgirl! I really struggle with knowing if submission is something I truly want. I know I want my marriage to be stronger and that things work way better when Daddy is in charge…but I don’t seem to crave submission the way that other submissives who I follow here on WordPress do…I mostly just want to be held accountable.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I understand that very much.

        I know you have a fetish for spankings (us fetishists can recognize each other you know 😉

        It makes me wonder if you are confusing that with submission? Or perhaps trying to justify your need with submission? “I want to be spanked, therefore I must be want to be held accountable, therefore I must be a submissive”?

        Or I could be completely wrong. Lol Only you know how you feel

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Honestly, after all this time and reflection, I am still unsure! I know that I desire to be held accountable by my husband, which is what attracted me to domestic discipline. Not only do I crave spankings, but I crave a man who will make me behave myself and bend to his will (so freaking sexy!). As for submission and subspace…I do enjoy it, but it isn’t what “does it” for me 🙂

          Liked by 1 person

  3. I am in control in so many aspects of my life. And yet I have ceded all control at home to my Queen. We still have a long way to go. I used to have the final word on virtually all decisions. It’s a habit that is hard to break. Sometimes my Queen will catch me and call me on it. Punishment will then ensue. She still wants my input into many decisions but the difference is that she has the final say. As some bright people above me have stated it’s a journey or a process to work through! I know you told DDJennifer that you admired her (as do I), but you should know that I admire you too!!

    Now on a purely selfish note—I’ve been missing you big time!! So nice to see you back again! I think your Daddy should punish you for starving your WordPress friends of your attention!!😜

    Like

    1. LOL…thanks for giving him ideas! He’s bound to read your suggestion😊

      Thank you for the compliment, Michael. I admire you too. It sounds like our pre-D/s situations were pretty similar. Perhaps Ive been conceptualizing this all wrong…I have trouble thinking of myself as a submissive and as a successful professional woman. Perhaps I need to be thinking more along the lines of I am submissive to my Husband in our home because it makes our marriage stronger. Hmmm….something to think about😊

      Thank you for stopping by! I promise to try and write more this week❤

      Liked by 2 people

  4. I am only submissive to my wife!! Most of my friends would be soooo surprised at my submissiveness. I think being submissive to your husband in the home to make your marriage stronger is a great way to look at it. And if it is working for the two of you then it’s marvellous and perfect. It doesn’t matter what works for others as your personal relationship is the only important thing you need to worry about. As is often said, there is no right or wrong way to do this.
    And I will look forward to reading more from you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Michael! I really appreciate this comment. Sometimes, I feel like the odd duck out as I don’t really crave submissiveness or subspace, as I frequently read on the blogs of other submissives. I just want my husband to feel respected and loved, and our marriage to be as happy and sexy as it has been this last year. That is what works for us 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Happy New Year, Nora – nice to see you back at your blog. Looking forward to another year of musings and learnings. I love the way you are always reaching for the lesson in your adventures – I agree, submission should be a learning experience every day.

    All the best for 2018 – I look forward to reading about it.

    KP xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for stopping by, KP, and happy New Year to you and yours! I greatly enjoy blogging and hope that I can find more time to write. It’s been a bit since I have visited your blog, which I enjoy very much…headed that way now! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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