30 Days of Submission- Day 12
Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself? If no, is there a particular reason why? Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission? Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?
When I first read this prompt, I almost immediately dismissed it as something not relevant to my life. However, upon further reflection, and a bit of research, I realized how “un-submissive” my initial thoughts were in this matter. Why did this prompt make me feel uncomfortable? To address this prompt, I need to first reflect on the way things were in my marriage prior to Daddy and I’s journey into the world of D/s.
When I met my husband, at the tender age of 23, I had a clear understanding of how money worked, how harmful credit cards could be, and my own financial goals for my future. I feel that I was fortunate to have two parents who taught me about these things and who openly discussed money and common mistakes that people sometimes make. When I wanted to open my own checking account while in high school, my mom sat down with me and taught me how to balance a check book (I still remember depositing my first pay check from Round Table pizza…I was giddy!). In my world, this was the normal way of things and I just assumed that most people knew to do this. However, when I met my husband it soon became clear that not everyone knew how to handle money. While he was certainly making more than he was spending, my future husband had no idea how to balance his accounts, how to make money-wise decisions, nor did he have clear cut goals with regard to his financial future. It took some time, but I helped him clean up his credit and taught him what I knew about money. When we married, we agreed that I would handle our finances…and, it has been that way ever since.
Fast forward to today, where I strive to give my submission to my husband. Early on in our dynamic, we visited the idea of him becoming more involved in our finances and he shied away from this idea. A few months in, while I was reading “The Surrendered Wife”, written by Laura Doyle, the topic of financial submission emerged again as the author talks about how entrusting your spouse with your finances is one of the ultimate ways to demonstrate your trust and respect of their abilities. Again, my husband and I discussed the matter, and he let me know that he has plenty of responsibilities in our marriage and that he was delegating to me the task of managing our finances.
I respect my husband’s decision in this matter. As you all know, paying bills, balancing accounts, making decisions about money…it is time consuming! It can also be incredibly stressful. I guess the importance of this post for me is not so much about the fact that I manage our finances and that my husband would like me to continue to do so…but would I be able to handle giving up that responsibility?
This question brings about great uncertainty for me. Much of the time, our D/s is centered on kinky sex play, kneeling, spankings, mantras, etc., and I am not knocking that…those things have helped me to change how I speak to my husband and how I see him. Our D/s has also helped him grow in his confidence, as a man and as a sexual being. Our D/s has taught me about the beauty of not always being in control. But I come back to… could I handle giving up the responsibility of managing our finances?
In all honesty, I am not sure, and I don’t think that I will ever find out as my husband does not have an interest in taking on this responsibility. He trusts my judgment and my abilities in this area. He has made it clear that he is delegating this responsibility to me, and in this, he demonstrates his Dominance over me by assigning me the task.
I am curious to hear your thoughts on this matter…how do you feel about financial submission in your current dynamic or the dynamic you would like to have?
Thank you for stopping by…and happy writing 🙂