Writing prompt- Ask your fellow sub!

Writing prompt- Ask your fellow sub!

Yesterday, I set out on a quest to find a new set of writing prompts that would focus my thoughts and writing on submission.  One of the sites I came across is hosted by lunaKM.  The author provides a set of journal prompts intended to “help mental blocks and tickle your submissive thoughts”.  A new aspect to this blog that I discovered today is that you can click a button that will generate random writing prompts.  I clicked the button several times until I found one that I thought might be intriguing for today.  But this writing prompt is really for you, not me…

The prompt is: “What would you like to ask fellow subs?”

The big reason that I have grown so fond of WordPress and the community of friends I have made here is because I learn so much from reading about the experiences and thoughts of others.  So…for you fellow subs or anyone else who might like to participate, here are some of the things I would love to hear about from you (along with anything else you might like to share):

  • How do you manage the constant state of sexual arousal? It is VERY distracting throughout the day!
  • What sorts of special acts do you perform to please your Dominant?
  • What is your favorite ritual that you and your Dominant have put in place?
  • How are you dealing with unwanted body hair?
  • What is something that you are working on changing to please your Dominant?
  • Is there anything about your D/s dynamic that you wish would change?
  • What is your least favorite punishment?

 

I am hoping that you will consider responding to any of these questions!

Thank you, as always, for reading!

Happy writing 🙂

~ nora

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41 thoughts on “Writing prompt- Ask your fellow sub!

  1. Hi Nora.

    How do you manage the constant state of sexual arousal?
    I tend to accept it as part of the lifestyle being amazing. It kind of makes you want to be good so that you will be allowed to O, doesn’t it? It can also deepen mental submissive space by making you feel a bit desperate or reinforce a status (e.g. if the dominant calls you a horny slut). In cases where there will be no relief, it is a reminder of the exquisite suffering. If there was no sexual arousal it would be pretty drab.

    What sorts of special acts do you perform to please your Dominant?
    Hrm, define special? Rituals, massages, sexual service are common. I also make sure to try to communicate the feelings overflowing from my heart so that they know how much I cherish them.

    What is your favorite ritual that you and your Dominant have put in place?
    I would have to go with presenting myself for inspection. It always feels a bit depersonalizing and also leads to anticipation as you use their reaction to determine their mood and the depth of my submissive mental space responds in kind. In some moods they will always find something that is unacceptable. Having them lock my collar on and kneeling and prostrating myself at her feet are also up there.

    How are you dealing with unwanted body hair?
    A razor. I’m rather lucky in that I have hardly any body hair aside from head/armpits/pubes.

    What is something that you are working on changing to please your Dominant?
    Well, ideally I would like to undo the PTSD response that my body goes through when performing cunnilingus. Another thing that comes to mind is trying to rid myself of selfish desires. If my sentence starts with “I want…”, is it something I should even say, let alone think?

    What is your least favorite punishment?
    Isolation. By far. This one hurts the worst.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for responding, furcissy! I loved reading your answers. At this point, Daddy hasn’t restricted my sexual pleasure much…it is so hard not to spend the day pleasuring myself when sex is all I can think about. I feel like a horny teenager all over again! I was wondering how others managed this, or if they just gave in and had at it 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Anytime, Nora.

        They do make female chastity belts. They prevent penetration but they don’t make anything that can prevent a clitoral erection or stimulation. Well, there is desensitizing lotion 🙂

        Even if he were to restrict things you know that when he gets home and you are kneeling naked and he asks if you touched yourself that you wouldn’t be able to lie. Although if you could, there aren’t certain tell-tale signs like testicular swelling that a male sub on the honor system cannot hide (that and the fact that post-O males lose sub mental space).

        I personally think it’s better to accept yourself as a sexual creature and at times it will control you like a puppet. That in itself is rather exquisite isn’t it?

        Take care.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Well, when you put it that way…yes! That does sound rather exquisite. And, Daddy almost always asks me when he gets home from work how many times I pleasured myself during the day. The one time that I failed to get my tasks done, he then put me on restriction the next day…it was dreadful! Thankfully he took care of me when he got home:-)

          Liked by 2 people

          1. A whole partial day? However did you manage?

            One of my ex’s used to say that the submissive male orgasm was like Santa Claus. He comes once a year for well-behaved boys. The alternative was that he doesn’t really exist 😛

            Liked by 2 people

              1. You are a hoot, Nora. I understand it can be confusing since the nature of arousal and post-orgasmic mood shifts differ so greatly between genders. Women tend to get “more into it” with an O, and that happens regardless of their role. Men… not so much.

                I will try to describe it in a way that you can relate to. So far, you frequently describe your submissive self as your corrected self and your vanilla self as the one with flaws/stubbornness and the like. Imagine that every time you have an orgasm that you are yanked out of your submissive mental space and into your vanilla self. Post-orgasm you would be “trapped” in your vanilla self for the next 12-24 hours with no desire to submit, and no easy way to bring you back. So, at 2pm you have your orgasm. He gets home at 6pm and you don’t really feel like cooking so you procrastinated it and end up just doing something that takes very little work to prepare. He wants you to rub his feet and you don’t really feel like it and while you still do it, your heart really isn’t in it. You find yourself feeling critical of him and do NOT want to be punished for it.

                From the position of a dominant, how many “days off” per week do you want to give your sub? If you orgasm every day you will hardly ever feel submissive (it may only be in fantasy even). Every other day? Once a week? Once a month? If he still wanted sexual gratification between your slated orgasms it would either have to be oral, hand jobs, or penetrative sex where you would be denied an orgasm.

                Over time you discover that you feel the most submissive when you are aroused and sexually frustrated and the longer you go between orgasms, the more desperate and submissive you feel. As a submissive you are a rational being and you have all of this knowledge at your fingertips. You also know that as a sub you feel good about yourself and you know your vanilla self leads to friction and bad feelings.

                While an orgasm feels good, is it worth it? Do you toss away this mountain of good feelings that have accumulated for a few minutes of personal pleasure? Or would you prefer to stay in your most pleasing form?

                If you prefer to stay submissive, over time you train yourself to feel guilty/bad about desiring an orgasm. While you want it, it feels selfish and icky. Feeling like you cannot trust your own judgment you willingly give the power to choose to the dominant.

                What would you choose if these were your options?

                Dominants that thrive on control and power dynamics are the types that would employ chastity. Even if you are trustworthy they would do it anyway just to symbolize that control in a physical form. How people choose release schedules is all over the board with many schools of thought. Some work on fixed increments. Some use a carrot, e.g. 1 week of perfect behavior and service = next release. Any infractions might add a day (or a week) to the next release or reset the counter back to 0. Others might simply say “you exist for my pleasure” and take them away completely. Others will dream up games of chance, some based purely on luck and others might be a mix of merit and luck.

                (I am going to tangent here a bit and go into detail on some of these as they might give you some perspective on how these would work in dynamics).

                52 envelopes. Seal 52 envelopes with a key inside of each of them. 2 of the keys will be to the chastity device. At the end of the week the dominant will decide if the sub’s behavior and performance was deserving of an envelope. If yes, the sub or dominant will draw an envelope and open it. If the key unlocks the chastity device, the sub is permitted one orgasm before it is replaced. If no, an envelope is drawn and discarded. The sub ends up with the chance of having 0-2 orgasms for the year and must be well-behaved to have any chance at all.

                Jar of marbles (or beads). Marbles have two colors: Red for infractions, Blue for rewards. For every infraction, 1 or more Red marbles are added to the jar (more marbles for more serious or repeat infractions). Every time the sub goes above and beyond what is expected of them, they earn a Blue marble for the jar. Once a week the sub will blindly draw a marble (they can be emptied into an opaque bag and mixed up). If they draw a Blue marble they are released and permitted one orgasm. If they draw a Red marble, they are punished.

                The reason for games like these is to prevent the sub from ever asking for premature release since release is determined by the game. They are also quite cruel as they require merit but it is not necessarily rewarded.

                Take care.

                Liked by 3 people

                1. Might I recommend a book I’m currently reading called The Multi Orgasmic Couple? It can be downloaded onto your device for $12. Theory’s chapter is dedicated to the multi orgasmic male and teaches men how to have mutliple non ejaculatory orgasms. Maybe this would be helpful for you?

                  Liked by 2 people

                  1. Thank you for the recommendation. Unfortunately it isn’t so much the obtaining of multiple orgasms that is the problem, moreso the types of brain chemicals that are released and how they throw off the equilibrium of submissive mental space in men.

                    There are some ways to use trauma to speed up the body’s generation of the submissive brain chemicals (I was able to get my cycle down to 4-6 hours). Unfortunately I have found that trauma severe enough to make submissive mental space return within minutes of a male orgasm requires trauma so severe that it makes the idea of an orgasm an unattractive prospect if knowing what will happen in its aftermath.

                    Take care

                    Liked by 1 person

                    1. The differences are quite interesting. This isn’t a problem for women subs and my best guess is that it has to due with the emotional/sexual response to environment and some instinctual programming as a species. What I have noticed is that whatever mental space women are in during an orgasm, it tends to get enhanced/strengthened. E.g. If feeling submissive they will feel more submissive (same goes for dominance).

                      The other oddity is that a much larger percentage of women dominants are drawn to this compared to male dominants in an M/f environment. Another oddity is that M/m situations tend to more closely resemble F/m in this regard and F/f tend to more closely resemble M/f.

                      I find it all fascinating.

                      Take care.

                      Liked by 3 people

                    2. It is fascinating! Thank you for sharing your wealth of knowledge, furcissy…I know I have expressed this a bunch of times, but you really have taught me so much about this lifestyle, the nuances of certain subjects, and of course…you are always full of WICKED ideas 🙂

                      Liked by 2 people

                    3. sayyidsgirl…. I have learned so much from furcissy about male and female submission and a million other things. He is a FANTASTIC resource and I must say, a bit of a mentor to me 🙂

                      Liked by 2 people

                    4. It can vary, Nora, but it generally must take the form of rather severe punishments or degradation.

                      The male sub mind can be trained to return faster between cycles but it is a long process that takes a lot of work and progress is slow. When I first entered the life it took me about 24-30 hours. Now I can do it in 4-6 hours.

                      Something like being caned well past your “red” zone… to where your brain goes blank and your body is reacting involuntarily attempting to escape the pain. This would be enough to bring a male sub back immediately but the process sucks.

                      Does that make sense?

                      Liked by 2 people

                    5. I should note that the trauma doesn’t need to be only physical types. But it needs to be strong enough to crush the psyche and bring out enough “sub” brain chemicals to overwrite the chemical change following an orgasm. Some methods will get more effective over time and some will get less effective.

                      I have read about lifestyles where following an orgasm the sub is forced to drink their cum, then are beaten and scolded and degraded for being disgusting, then put in isolation instead of aftercare, etc. and that process has trained them to return more quickly.

                      If I had to guess it probably also created an association and makes the idea of an orgasm bittersweet.

                      Take care.

                      Liked by 2 people

                    6. Yikes! Yep, that would do it. I am grateful that Daddy and I are on the same page about orgasms…he thinks mine are beautiful and encourages me to enjoy as many as possible (as long as I get my chores done) 🙂

                      Liked by 2 people

                2. I feel like my eyes have just been opened! I actually get it now, or at least, I think I do. What you wrote about not feeling submissive after an orgasm makes a lot of sense…and how when you are sexually frustrated and desiring your Dom, you do feel submissive. I also like the different aspects you presented…. orgasm permission by chance (keys in the envelope), or having to earn the privilege through good behavior. You’ve tried to explain the concept of male chastity to me before and I never really got it, but I feel like now perhaps I do…this response you created definitely deserves its own blog post 🙂

                  Liked by 2 people

                  1. Thank you, Nora.

                    I have actually blogged about this quite extensively in the past 🙂

                    I find topics like chastity are tough ones to grasp and they frequently require an extremely thorough explanation covering both dominant and submissive ideas or having it presented in an alluring “package.”

                    It took me 4+ years in the life before I encountered a portrayal of chastity that “did it” for me. In most cases it seemed too much like an infomercial.

                    It is funny because I know MANY people of both genders and roles that like the idea of being a key holder, there are just far fewer who actually prefer to keep their partner chaste.

                    Liked by 2 people

  2. Well being only a month in I don’t think I’ll be much help but I’m looking forward to reading all the responses!

    How do you manage the constant state of sexual arousal? It is VERY distracting throughout the day!
    Yes it’s very distracting! I’m not sure how to manage it. I don’t want it push it away but I need to concentrate at work. I was just attributing the constant of arousal to sub frenzy,,.. are you saying it NEVER GOES AWAY???

    • What sorts of special acts do you perform to please your Dominant?
    Full body massages, hand and foot rubs, what we call “lazy head” or what others refer to as “cock worship” where I just lay there and suck and lick him while he watches tv.

    • What is your favorite ritual that you and your Dominant have put in place?
    We don’t have many rituals at this point but I like it when he comes home I have to stop what I’m doing and greet him at the top of the stairs.

    • How are you dealing with unwanted body hair?
    I got my first Brazilian wax and it’s great! I’m going to keep going.

    • What is something that you are working on changing to please your Dominant?
    My patience!

    • Is there anything about your D/s dynamic that you wish would change?
    Just wanting it to improve and get better and better, with both of us becoming more comfortable and knowing about our roles.

    • What is your least favorite punishment?
    Still working on establishing punishments. Sayyid and I will be discussing this tonight.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for participating, sayyidsgirl! First…no…the constant sexual arousal does not go away…if anything, it has increased for me over the last 8 months. To be honest, I’m not complaining about it, but it does make it hard to concentrate and stay productive when all I want to do is crawl into bed with Daddy! Or, crawl into bed by myself and think about Daddy…
      Glad to hear you enjoyed your Brazilian! I played around with waxing, but have moved to a more permanent solution…a home laser hair removal system. I just started using it at the recommendation of another blogger here on WordPress, so I’ll keep you posted on the results.
      Good luck with the punishment conversation…discipline and punishment play a large role in our dynamic, and I am better for it…but a true punishment does hurt and cause shame…not fun 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Re That last part: yes, which is why I don’t think spankings as punishment is going to work for me. Maybe something else like writing lines or being made to sleep in big baggy pjs (I hate that! It’s nude or panties only!)

        Liked by 1 person

        1. There you go! It is important to come up with punishments that you truly want to avoid. Writing lines is a good one for me. At a minimum, Daddy assigns 150 as he knows that my hand starts to cramp up around 100. You two will figure out what works for you! Also, corner time with a ginger fig is a punishment to be avoided at all costs…if you haven’t looked up “figging” yet, I can promise you it is something that you don’t want to go through.

          Liked by 2 people

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