A new set of D/s writing prompts! Prompt #1…My Temper

A new set of D/s writing prompts! Prompt #1…My Temper

It is hard to believe that Daddy and I began our journey with Domestic Discipline (DD) and Dominance and submission (D/s) almost eight months ago.  In those eight months, so much in our relationship has changed while many of the good parts have been enhanced.  For example, our friendship is stronger than ever.  There is no one that I would rather spend my time with than Daddy and we continue to enjoy working on our home together, camping, playing board games, watching comedies, swimming, shopping, traveling, etc. together.  Also, our sex life has been reborn!  While we enjoyed each other prior to D/s, the love we make is now off the charts and we are “together” 3-4 times per week if not more.  Things that have changed include my constant criticizing and questioning everything that my husband does, and in turn, he has really stepped up as a leader within our marriage.  We both feel much happier in our new roles….he feels more masculine, confident and in control, and I feel more feminine, more in control of my reactions, and cherished.

Part of this journey initially included me participating in the Loving BDSM’s 30 days of D/s writing prompts.  I faithfully completed the prompt that was emailed to me each day and I must admit, I miss that structure and focus!  In a quest to fill that void, I researched other D/s related writing prompts.  I have a found a few and welcome any suggestions that you may have.  But today, I am going to begin addressing Submissive Journal Prompts, hosted by lunaKM.  The author writes that these prompts, “are help for mental blocks and to tickle your submissive thoughts” and that they need not be completed in any order.

Therefore, I choose to address the following prompt today:

“How do you handle your temper around your Owner? Are you allowed to express it in some way?”

My temper has always been a source of contention between my husband and I.  I am one of those who angers quickly, lashes out, and promptly is over the whole matter a few minutes later.  This used to drive my husband CRAZY.  He is more the type who angers slowly, allows it to build up, and then blows up at the most inopportune time.  That was Daddy and nora prior to D/s.

Now, I am not allowed to demonstrate anger at Daddy when I am feeling it in the moment.  If I do, I am almost immediately disciplined.  I am allowed, however; to respectfully communicate my feelings to him and we have protocols in place to help us through this process.  Specifically, if I have a problem with something he has said, or is doing, or is planning to do and I feel that I must communicate this to him (rather than submitting to his authority), I am to kneel before him and say, “May I please, respectfully, say something Daddy?”

This may seem extreme, but the act of this ritual greatly improves my demeanor and reminds me of my submissive place within our marriage.  It is not uncommon that by the time I have kneeled and made my request, that I feel foolish for what I am about to say and disappointed in myself for not just trusting him.  But, there are also times where I do need to express my opinion because I may have knowledge about something that Daddy does not, or an alternative view point which may be valid or helpful in some way.

Learning this protocol was difficult for me.  In the beginning, it was not uncommon for me to start in on something and for Daddy to say calmly, “Shouldn’t you be kneeling?”.  I am proud to say that I am getting much better at this!  I still mess up occasionally, but I no longer lash out in anger every time that I feel defensive, criticized, etc.  In fact, the last time that I grew upset while we were working on a project together, instead of “going off” on Daddy like I used to, I started crying out of frustration!  In his wisdom, Daddy still gave me the spanking I had earned for expressing my anger/frustration inappropriately, but I was pleased with myself that I was able to control my tongue!  Not something I had had much luck with in the past.  Granted, my level of frustration still brought me to tears, but I still see this as a gain…I am learning to control what I say.

I also want to touch on how Daddy deals with his anger for he is growing too.  He is much better at staying calm and keeping himself under control when he is angry.  If he does grow angry in the moment, he has gotten very good at announcing my discipline for a later time (when he has cooled down).  In these rare occasions, he has sent me to our room or sent me to the corner while he thinks things through.  I am very proud of his progress, and mine as well.

Thank you for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day!

Happy writing 🙂

~ nora

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17 thoughts on “A new set of D/s writing prompts! Prompt #1…My Temper

      1. It’s the fact you try.i genuinely couldn’t. I know you love you’re life and other half. But as an outsider with an attitude prob looking in I’m absolutely mesmerised with it. With you and other subs. I could quite easily be in a dom role. I guess what I’m saying is I have a lot of respect for subs

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  1. Nora….I so love how you present yourself. Post each reading I want to dive in more and dig into behaviorism. One day I hope we get to sit down. Maybe a joint thesis???? Keep it up my friend!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. LOL…thank you, Traveler! It’s funny…I actively try not to think about behaviorism, motivations, etc. while blogging…here on WordPress, I get to just be the submissive wife on her D/s journey 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Honestly progress is all we can hope for. Progress together is beautiful. A marriage coming together in an ever deepening way is also beautiful. So I am saying that you and your Daddy are beautiful!! But don’t tell him. lol

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This may sound odd, but there is a strong correlation between anger outbursts and being overwhelmed as an autistic. I personally have had my volunteer services leveraged to help with such programs that teach autistic children coping mechanisms (A passion given myself being on the autism spectrum). The most pronounced nuance of assisting in those studies was this: The studies intended on finding the breaking point of the children and then spent intense focus on working the children on how to think about their situation – and then give them appropriate coping tools labelled as “things to try”. There were two methods employed – and both were needed to measure progress and effectiveness. One just employed getting the child to the point of reaching their point of response, the other – actually informed the child before hand of what the days exercise was to be. “Okay Billy, today we are going to help you reach the point where you get and then we will stop and work on getting through that experience”. When the latter was employed – there was statistically significantly greater acceptance, acknowledgement, and recovery than over the former. Aside from recommending your own research in this particular area of study, my point is this. Much like your Sunday occurrence of maintenance spankings (Eidetic memory from one of your posts and a natural inclination to remember patterns – sorry), I feel there can be a both give and take in conditioned training. You can have something gnawing at you that you can turn to your Dom, your Love, and express that you know you will be punished for how you are about to express something – but then express it as wildly as you feel you need to – and then receive your deserved punishments. JUST AS, Your Dom can take an opportunity to tell you that he will specifically do something that he knows will push your ire – intentionally – again just to get you reaction (and push it wildly to do so) and yet again – deliver the punishment as was deserved by your eventual reaction. In this strange strange manner – you *may* just find a laughing point of pushing your boundaries outward and get a fuller grasp on triggers, outburst, , and then “Relief”. I adore your writing and exposure – thank you – and I hope my reply is only taken from this person’s singular perspective and desire to share than as anything else (or just chalk up to my occasional autistic need to sometime speak my perspective whether anyone ever wanted it or not).

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    1. Thank you for this thoughtful comment, Wicked Daddy! I apologize for the tardy response, I somehow missed the alert. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and experiences with the autism spectrum. I have worked with autistic children in various capacities since I was 19…the research and employed strategies has come a long way! Also, thank you for the compliment on my blog. I hope you know how much I enjoy reading your blogs as well!😊

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  4. Nora I love your honesty and I relate so much to what you said. I so often let my temper get the best of me especially towards my husband. D/s is helping me with this but I think introducing DD into our D/s will make a huge difference. Ive started planting the seeds for Sayyid so we will see how it goes.

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    1. Thank you, sayyidsgirl! I cringe when I think about how I have talked to my husband in the past! DD has been crucial for us in me breaking my bad habits toward him. It also helps him to feel better when I disrespect him… if I misbehave, he steps in and corrects me and then it is over. No more days of hurt feelings. No more resentment toward one another. Do know that it took us a few months to get to a place where he could discipline me enough to push me past my pain threshold. He worried about truly hurting me. Now, he’s seen what he can do to my bottom with a paddle, he knows that I will be a crying mess after, but that in 10 minutes or so, I will be okay again. Don’t get me wrong, the pain lasts longer than that, but it doesn’t take that long to compose yourself after a hard spanking. He’s also learned my sounds…what I sound like when I am reaching that pain threshold. He doesn’t go by color of the skin, as different implements leave various marks and redness. I will share this….the first time you are truly punished, you will truly want to change and learn to control your temper. It is amazing how it works. A good hard spanking = a sweet, submissive wife 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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