It is hard to believe that Daddy and I began our journey with Domestic Discipline (DD) and Dominance and submission (D/s) almost eight months ago. In those eight months, so much in our relationship has changed while many of the good parts have been enhanced. For example, our friendship is stronger than ever. There is no one that I would rather spend my time with than Daddy and we continue to enjoy working on our home together, camping, playing board games, watching comedies, swimming, shopping, traveling, etc. together. Also, our sex life has been reborn! While we enjoyed each other prior to D/s, the love we make is now off the charts and we are “together” 3-4 times per week if not more. Things that have changed include my constant criticizing and questioning everything that my husband does, and in turn, he has really stepped up as a leader within our marriage. We both feel much happier in our new roles….he feels more masculine, confident and in control, and I feel more feminine, more in control of my reactions, and cherished.
Part of this journey initially included me participating in the Loving BDSM’s 30 days of D/s writing prompts. I faithfully completed the prompt that was emailed to me each day and I must admit, I miss that structure and focus! In a quest to fill that void, I researched other D/s related writing prompts. I have a found a few and welcome any suggestions that you may have. But today, I am going to begin addressing Submissive Journal Prompts, hosted by lunaKM. The author writes that these prompts, “are help for mental blocks and to tickle your submissive thoughts” and that they need not be completed in any order.
Therefore, I choose to address the following prompt today:
“How do you handle your temper around your Owner? Are you allowed to express it in some way?”
My temper has always been a source of contention between my husband and I. I am one of those who angers quickly, lashes out, and promptly is over the whole matter a few minutes later. This used to drive my husband CRAZY. He is more the type who angers slowly, allows it to build up, and then blows up at the most inopportune time. That was Daddy and nora prior to D/s.
Now, I am not allowed to demonstrate anger at Daddy when I am feeling it in the moment. If I do, I am almost immediately disciplined. I am allowed, however; to respectfully communicate my feelings to him and we have protocols in place to help us through this process. Specifically, if I have a problem with something he has said, or is doing, or is planning to do and I feel that I must communicate this to him (rather than submitting to his authority), I am to kneel before him and say, “May I please, respectfully, say something Daddy?”
This may seem extreme, but the act of this ritual greatly improves my demeanor and reminds me of my submissive place within our marriage. It is not uncommon that by the time I have kneeled and made my request, that I feel foolish for what I am about to say and disappointed in myself for not just trusting him. But, there are also times where I do need to express my opinion because I may have knowledge about something that Daddy does not, or an alternative view point which may be valid or helpful in some way.
Learning this protocol was difficult for me. In the beginning, it was not uncommon for me to start in on something and for Daddy to say calmly, “Shouldn’t you be kneeling?”. I am proud to say that I am getting much better at this! I still mess up occasionally, but I no longer lash out in anger every time that I feel defensive, criticized, etc. In fact, the last time that I grew upset while we were working on a project together, instead of “going off” on Daddy like I used to, I started crying out of frustration! In his wisdom, Daddy still gave me the spanking I had earned for expressing my anger/frustration inappropriately, but I was pleased with myself that I was able to control my tongue! Not something I had had much luck with in the past. Granted, my level of frustration still brought me to tears, but I still see this as a gain…I am learning to control what I say.
I also want to touch on how Daddy deals with his anger for he is growing too. He is much better at staying calm and keeping himself under control when he is angry. If he does grow angry in the moment, he has gotten very good at announcing my discipline for a later time (when he has cooled down). In these rare occasions, he has sent me to our room or sent me to the corner while he thinks things through. I am very proud of his progress, and mine as well.
Thank you for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day!
Happy writing 🙂