Refocusing on Domestic Discipline

Refocusing on Domestic Discipline

Lately, Daddy and I have really gotten caught up in our D/s dynamic…rituals, sexual submission, trying new things at a rapid pace, etc.  While exploring ourselves sexually has been incredible (emphasize the incredible part), we have really gotten away from the original reason that Daddy and I embarked on this journey in the first place.  That reason was to change our marriage for the better…to encourage my submission to my husband and to encourage my husband to be a stronger leader in our marriage.  We decided to accomplish that goal through a strong commitment to both of our new roles.

As I mentioned, we have gotten really caught up in our sex life (not necessarily a bad thing).  However, outside of the bedroom, our roles began to slowly revert back to our old selves.  I could feel myself becoming overly critical again.  Daddy was beginning to feel defensive constantly and engage in avoidance behaviors.  We had two arguments last week over STUPID things.

Thankfully, we both recognized what was happening.  We agreed to discuss things when my husband returned from work tonight.  My assignment was to think about things, create a list of punishments we would review, and write down transgressions that I had yet to be punished for.  The list of punishments that I created (and Daddy approved this evening) are:

Physical

  • Spanking
  • Strap/ruler to palms
  • Mouth washing with soap
  • Figging
  • Large plug (at home or public)
  • Restraints/hog-tie

Time Outs

  • Corner Time
  • Nose pressed against wall
  • Punishment stool
  • Sent to bed early
  • Writing lines

Privilege Removal

  • Grounded to the house
  • Internet sites (WordPress, etc.)
  • Alcohol or Coffee
  • Speaking (use of bit)
  • Sitting on furniture
  • Orgasm/Sex

Daddy and I reviewed this list together and he thanked me for putting this down in writing.  We also decided that I would keep a list of transgressions daily and record my punishments, to bring more focus to behavior modification.  I also shared with Daddy three transgressions which I had yet to be punished for.  One of the transgressions included spending too much time on the internet and not enough time dedicated to my academic writing.  For this, Daddy has restricted me from WordPress tomorrow (I will miss reading all of your blogs with my morning coffee!).  I was surprised at how it felt when Daddy announced this as my punishment…I actually teared up and felt very, very sorry that I had not used my time more wisely.  I suppose that means it is an effective punishment.  Daddy wanted time to consider my other two transgressions and I do not know yet how I will be punished.

Overall, from our discussion, we both came away wanting a total re-commitment to our DD lifestyle.  Daddy has stated that he would like to be more consistent, apply more on-the-spot corrections, and be more proactive in helping me learn to be submissive.  I stated that I wanted to continue to work on not only behaving more submissively but also on thinking more submissively and that I would follow his lead and obey his decisions in these matters.

I have come to believe that life is mostly about hard work and fun.  Daddy and I really got caught up in the fun of D/s…now it is time to start putting the hard work in again, so that we can enjoy the benefits of a happier, less stressful marriage.  Don’t get me wrong, I hope the kinky sex stuff keeps up as well, but I have a feeling I may be sleeping on my tummy the next few night….

Happy writing, all!  See you Thursday 🙂

~ nora

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24 thoughts on “Refocusing on Domestic Discipline

  1. Its good to see your dedication to why you chose this lifestyle. Hoping it continues to bring you growth and unity. One day we must sit down so I can pick your brain. You still intrigue me. My thoughts keep returning to….beauty in divergence.

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  2. Hi nora, hope things are well. We entered M/s for the same reason to better our relationship. Kit used to get angry over something really small and Master would get into his defensive mode and just ignore the Kit. We don’t like to shout at eachother so it becomes more like passive agressive war between us. It wasn’t really sex that had attracted Kit into M/s relationship…it’s Kit’s desire to feel happy. A M/s relationship provides Kit the structure and security that Kit needs to feel at ease, which in turn allows the Kit to do things to make Master happy. It’s good you’ve recognized what’s going on in your relationship. So yeah don’t be too hard on yourself. Hugs.

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  3. Aww, a lot of D/s isn’t necessarily a bad thing like you said but I think it’s important in finding a balance between D/s and DD that will suit your relationship with your Sir. It’s good that you both recognized it and rectified it right away, that’s a huge step in your journey.

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    1. Figging is insertion anally of a peeled and carved ginger root. It was used in Victorian life/erotica quite a lot, they being obsessed with all things bowel related. The use of ginger in the rectum is to provide a burning sensation, thus keeping the bottom relaxed for punishment because the person being caned/birched/spanked will not want to clench up, but rather push up and out in a manner to minimize the burning feeling.

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    2. You may be sorry you asked, shewassetfree! You should really look it up if you are going to try it (for technique) but basically, it is when a piece of ginger is inserted into the anus. It stings TERRIBLY after 2-3 minutes. It is a punishment like no other and reduces me to tears within minutes.

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        1. LOL…yes, absolutely decline! I despise the fig and would do just about anything to avoid it. Thankfully, my Daddy usually forgets about this type of punishment, though I am required to keep fresh ginger in the fridge just in case.

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  4. Holy Mackerels… you are far braver than I will ever be… no way is Daddi getting near my backside with ginger or any other roots.., I bow to you oh brave one!!, I wanted to say to your Daddy…. when it comes to you having to stand with your nose against the wall… your Daddy should put a quarter between the wall and your nose… and don’t drop it… what he does with you if you do is up to him I guess… not that I am trying to get you into more trouble or miffed, just adds an extra element is all *smiles*

    like any relationship, a D/s takes constant work, perhaps a bit more at times because not only do you have to do your routines and chores, you have to remember your place always, and if you struggle with that part have consequences for petulance and such … add to that your duties as a wife and mother and the daily grind of a world that doesn’t understand… while maintaining your identity … it is often a fine line, and it takes practice and time and lots of work just as any other relationship, marriage * big smiles* just keep the communication every day/night whenever, and dont ever hide feelings, let your Daddy know when you are having a bad day or are struggling with balance whatevers… and togethers you can find solutions or make changes where needed 🙂

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