As Daddy and I made the 8-hour car trek back home last weekend, we decided that we would write a blog together to pass some of the time. This was exciting to me as we had never- to this point- done anything like this together and I was looking forward to collaborating. After considering several topics to talk about, we decided that it might work better if I “interviewed” Daddy and just got his perspective on some matters down in writing. So, while he drove, I asked questions and wrote verbatim what he said. Our conversation began with the topic of pain… so here it goes!
nora– How do you feel about giving me pain, Daddy?
Daddy– I’m not a big fan of pain, giving or receiving. I really don’t get any pleasure from feeling my hand slapping on your bare skin or leaving welts on you. For me, it’s not about inflicting pain it’s more about the power, the control. I like feeling powerful over you. I feel more sexually confident when I dominate you. It has also helped to build my self-confidence in general. I feel a lot of responsibility in this new role, I am responsible for you, for us. I want to be fair and consistent with you. I do believe that I am pretty fair but I definitely need to be more consistent.
nora– How do you feel when you need to discipline me?
Daddy– When you do something that I have to discipline you for, I first remind myself that I don’t need to get angry because I have the control now. I remind myself that this is a moment where I can help you change your behavior for the better. My next thought is when am I going to discipline you, if it will be right then and there, or if I am going to send you somewhere (i.e. bedroom, living room) to wait. I then figure out what the punishment is going to be and how will I do it. This might be a spanking, or use of the plug, or spreader bar, corner time. If I am going to spank you I consider if it should just be a hand spanking or a spanking with an implement, which depends on the severity of the crime. I like to change things up each time so you don’t know what to expect and it keeps your mind racing and not complacent. So sometimes I bare you or I may tell you to be waiting for me with your pants and panties down. I usually determine the length of the spanking by the severity of the incidence. If it is a first time offense, I am generally lighter on you than repeat offenses. I generally keep track of the time and how you are crying during your spanking. Most of your spankings are about 5-6 minutes of continuous spanking. After your spanking, I typically give you corner time so that you can think through fully and have a full understanding of what happened. During the spanking I also pay attention to if an implement is leaving marks on you as I’m not trying to leave long term marks or bruises on you. Seeing marks on you doesn’t scare me but it’s not my intention to leave you black and blue. I’m not saying I would never spank you that hard, if the situation warranted it, I would. But, my intention is to discipline you, not just put welts on your body.
nora: What has our new lifestyle done for you?
Daddy: It’s given me more confidence, self-esteem, and more self-worth. I also have more self-discipline and motivation in general. It’s improved our marriage by far. We are both happier. Our roles are more balanced. Before D/s, you did everything and I just followed along. Now, even though I am in charge, we talk a lot more about things and you are still involved in decision making even though I have the final say. There are still things that you are responsible for…finances, cleaning the house, but I pay more attention to those areas of our life too. Our sex life is way better. Our sex drives are higher and I am more sexually satisfied.
nora: Why do you like me to call you Daddy?
Daddy: Because it is a position of authority over you, one that you recognize. I also like that it is personal, a term of endearment. It’s personal and positive but still authoritative. I don’t personally care for the term Master though I do like you to call me Sir as well.
nora: Is there anything you’d like to work on?
Daddy: I’d still like to be more consistent. I always want to be better for you. I think this will be ever evolving for me.
nora: Is there anything you’d like me to work on?
Daddy: I would like you to be more submissive, and lose the more domineering part of your personality. I would also like you to be less argumentative and learn to not use your lecturing tone. I know you are working really hard on these things and you have told me that you would like to learn to think more submissively which I support.
That’s as far as we got with this before we stopped for a break from driving. From this experience, I learned some things about Daddy that I didn’t know. I had assumed that on some level, he liked the physical experience of spanking me, giving me pain, but it turns out he really doesn’t. He likes it on a mental/emotional level, he likes dominating me…but the act of flesh hitting flesh…that doesn’t do anything for him, whereas for me, it is really exciting. I also got a bit of insight as to what goes through his mind when he needs to discipline me.
Thank you for participating, Daddy! Best car ride ever 🙂