Hello fellow bloggers! I have decided to partake in the 30 Days of D/s, which I will utilize as a writing exercise, presented by John Brownstone and Kayla Lords at Loving BDSM. As suggested by the title, this free activity explores topics surrounding D/s relationships. I know that there are many of us in this particular circle of writers who are engaged in this writing activity at the moment, so bear with me. I think that this will be a useful endeavor in further exploring this new lifestyle that Daddy and I have set out on. As always, thank you for reading!
Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s – Day 29
Prompt: We talk about D/s in very general terms as “Dominance and submission” but it can mean so much more. Are you into Caregiver/little (Daddy Dom, Mommy, littles, babygirl/boy)? Maybe Master/slave? Handler and puppy? Just like our kinks, our relationship can be anything we make of it. You can be a little of everything, depending on your mood, your partner, and what works for you right now in your life. If you’re not sure what dynamic you want, this may be a good time to explore and think about your options. If you’re in a relationship right now, we encourage you to think of the other aspects of D/s that intrigue you and see if there’s a way you can explore that.
Back to labels, again… To start, we are first and foremost, husband and wife. As husband and wife, we decided to incorporate domestic discipline into our marriage in an attempt to smooth out some of the rough edges of our marriage. This has largely worked for us and we are both much more satisfied with our relationship, which has matured in many ways. Like many married couples married for any length of time, we had adopted some pretty bad habits with regard to communication patterns, the lack of demonstration of respect toward one another, and the resentment that can stem from taking each other for granted. Domestic discipline (DD) has begun to change this for us, as we both work hard in our new roles. My husband works hard to show me that he cares for me and our marriage, by not only taking care of my emotional needs but by disciplining me when I act out against the rules that we have set together. I work hard to show my husband that I care for him by trusting him and his decisions, doing my best to obey him, and accepting punishment when I have earned it. We have one clear head of household, there is just one final say in all decisions, and I cannot reiterate enough how much stronger our marriage is within this new structure.
That is where we started six months ago. However, we then began to explore the world of Dominance and submission (D/s). We have both learned a lot about ourselves and each other on this journey. I have recognized a need within myself to learn true submission. This goal has not been easy for me to attain- in fact, I have not attained it yet- but I continue to strive to find my submissive self. In those moments where I experience the submissive mindset, I feel a great inner peace and joy and I feel that this is who I was meant to be. My husband has communicated to me that experiencing himself as a Dominant has done great things for his mindset as well…he feels more confident, more able, and more ambitious. He told me that for the first time in a long time, he feels pride in his work, in our marriage, and in himself. Those words rock my world as all I have ever wanted for him was to experience self-confidence. Just a quick side note about my husband…he grew up in a household of all women (Mom and three sisters) with no male role model. Some of the benefits of this include his deeper understanding of women, his compassion, and he is an AMAZING listener. But, he also feels that the lack of a strong male role model left him floundering in his development a bit as he grew up. When we met in our early twenties, I was in full-stride earning my degrees and trying to conquer my goals, and he was pretty content to just be along for the ride. Now, I feel that he is really coming into himself, growing, and becoming the person he wants to be…and I am so proud of him.
So here we are…14 years together and completely re-vamping our marriage. I love to call my husband “Daddy” as I am sure you have all picked up on, as it reminds me of how I am to trust him and let him care for me. He calls me his baby girl, his darling, his princess and he treats me as such. He also structures my day for me (other than when I have to be at work) and assigns me tasks and chores to complete. He disciplines me when I misbehave which typically includes a spanking, corner time, and writing lines, though he does implement other punishments as well. Many of these acts appear to fall within the dynamic of DaddyDom and babygirl, but I am still unclear if those particular labels suit us. I do greatly enjoy art work (including coloring), I have quite the collection of stuffed animals (but I don’t sleep with them), and I’ll be honest…Disney musicals are still my favorite thing in the world to watch. But, I don’t identify with any particular childhood age, I’m not really sassy or whiny toward Daddy, and I’m not attracted to the idea of diaper play or punishments. So…who knows.
In summary, I am not sure that figuring out our D/s labels are all that important. At the end of the day, we are just husband and wife on this crazy journey called life. I am grateful to be married to a man who desires to grow and mature together and who shows me his unfailing love each day. And, I will continue to seek out my own submission as I feel that it is one of the greatest gifts that I could ever offer.
Love you Daddy.
Happy writing 🙂