At one time or another, we are all plagued with depression, self-doubt, angst…some more than others. I am blessed to be able to say that I have led a relatively happy life. Happy childhood, met my husband at 23 right out of college, happy marriage, love my career…I’ve been very lucky. But, then my mom died, unexpectedly. Mom and I were incredibly close and neighbors as well. My husband and I bought our property just a few driveways away from hers, as he loved her very much too. A few months later, my younger brother died, tragically. My whole world was turned upside down and some days, I am just swimming in grief. So, I write to make myself feel better. I write academic journal articles, I write in my personal journal, I write naughty blog posts as you all know, I write spanking fiction…and it helps.
Yesterday and today were hard days. I have been overwhelmed with feelings of depression, struggling in finding self-worth, feeling down about many aspects of my life. When I start feeling this low, I remind myself to reach out to my husband, my rock, my anchor in this crazy life. So, I did. I expressed to him how I was feeling…maybe not in the healthiest way at the start of the conversation, but in his knowing and loving way, he set me straight. I’d like to share the text conversation we had earlier this afternoon.
Me: I’m sorry I am so much work. I know it must be taxing on you. I totally understand if you want to take a break from DD and D/s for a little while. (This text came out of nowhere…I’m sure Daddy was a bit shocked to receive it as we had not been discussing stopping this lifestyle in any way).
Daddy: Knock that off.
Me: Yes Sir, I’m sorry.
Daddy: Thank you.
Me: I’m just feeling a little insecure. I don’t know why you would want to be with me when I am so depressed. I wonder if you wish we had a normal relationship. One where you didn’t have to spank me to make me speak respectfully to you.
Daddy: For starters, you are the love of my life, my soul mate.
(That was it for about 2 minutes and then his next message came in)
Daddy: Go out on the back deck right now.
Me: Yes Sir
(And I immediately obeyed. I stood outside for several minutes, admiring my flowers and enjoying the way the sun felt on my skin, before I texted him again).
Me: I’m out here, Daddy.
Daddy: Take a look at our home we built together.
Me: It sure is beautiful.
Daddy: We did that together, because we love each other, and neither of us could have done it alone. This life works for both of us.
Me: That is true. But, you’re sure? You aren’t just doing this for me? (referring to DD).
Daddy: Yes, I am absolutely positive.
Me: I’m sorry…sometimes I just freak out inside…
Daddy: Well, you need to stop.
Me: Yes Sir, I will stop
Daddy: Now, go back inside, get the medium plug, put it in, and get started on your journal article.
Me: Yes Sir
Daddy: Thank you
Me: (sent Daddy a picture of the medium plug lubed up and my panties down)
Daddy: That’s the one (referring to my retrieval of the specified plug).
Me: It’s in now Daddy. Thank you for always being here for me.
Daddy: You are MY baby girl and I am responsible for you.
Me: I love you so much. You really couldn’t have said anything more perfect.
Daddy: Well, thank you. I really love you baby.
Me: And I really love you Daddy
Daddy: Good. Now get to work!
Me: Yes Sir
It is amazing how this little exchange completely turned my day around. Having completed some academic work for the afternoon, and now writing this blog to you all, my spirits feel lifted and I am looking forward to my evening with Daddy. We are going camping with my family this weekend for Father’s Day and tonight we are going to start prepping our trailer for the adventure.
Happy writing 🙂