Reflecting on 30 Days of D/s- Day 24

Hello fellow bloggers! I have decided to partake in the 30 Days of D/s, which I will utilize as a writing exercise, presented by John Brownstone and Kayla Lords at Loving BDSM.  As suggested by the title, this free activity explores topics surrounding D/s relationships.  I know that there are many of us in this particular circle of writers who are engaged in this writing activity at the moment, so bear with me.  I think that this will be a useful endeavor in further exploring this new lifestyle that Daddy and I have set out on.  As always, thank you for reading!

~nora

Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s – Day 24

Prompt: We sincerely hope that whatever good, healthy D/s relationship you find yourself in never ends or doesn’t end on bad terms. But the reality is that, for at least some people, they’re going to experience a D/s break-up at some point. For submissives, it can be particularly hard as you’ve come to rely on a person to help guide you and then they’re gone. It’s not easy for Dominants, either.  It’s important to know that many of the feelings you might experience are normal, and that you will recover.

Due to circumstances in my own life (i.e. recent, tragic deaths of family members), when I read this prompt, all that goes through my frantic mind, is what if Daddy dies?  That is something I struggle with a lot right now…every time he walks out the damn door to go to work, I think, what if this is the last time that I see him?  But, this is emotionally unhealthy for me…something I need to work past and I am trying.  I no longer cry each time he leaves and I am alone (and yes, this used to occur a lot, right after my mom died), but the thoughts still run through my mind and I am focusing on changing that and reducing those thoughts.

Having never been submissive to anyone other than Daddy, it’s hard for me to address this prompt with regard to “breaking up”.  I honestly feel that Daddy is my life partner, so while I worry about death separating us, I don’t spend time worrying about us choosing to split up.  Losing Daddy is unthinkable as my current life would be over.  Would I somehow pick myself up off the floor and continue on?  God, I hope I never have to find out.  Our new D/s dynamic has brought us closer in many ways and has brought an intimacy about that has enriched our marriage.  But, if I were unable to live this life with Daddy, I’m not sure that I would seek out a D/s dynamic with another individual.  To be honest, I can’t even comprehend that.

Sorry to be a Debbie Downer this morning…

nora