Reflecting on 30 Days of D/s- Day 24

Hello fellow bloggers! I have decided to partake in the 30 Days of D/s, which I will utilize as a writing exercise, presented by John Brownstone and Kayla Lords at Loving BDSM.  As suggested by the title, this free activity explores topics surrounding D/s relationships.  I know that there are many of us in this particular circle of writers who are engaged in this writing activity at the moment, so bear with me.  I think that this will be a useful endeavor in further exploring this new lifestyle that Daddy and I have set out on.  As always, thank you for reading!

~nora

Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s – Day 24

Prompt: We sincerely hope that whatever good, healthy D/s relationship you find yourself in never ends or doesn’t end on bad terms. But the reality is that, for at least some people, they’re going to experience a D/s break-up at some point. For submissives, it can be particularly hard as you’ve come to rely on a person to help guide you and then they’re gone. It’s not easy for Dominants, either.  It’s important to know that many of the feelings you might experience are normal, and that you will recover.

Due to circumstances in my own life (i.e. recent, tragic deaths of family members), when I read this prompt, all that goes through my frantic mind, is what if Daddy dies?  That is something I struggle with a lot right now…every time he walks out the damn door to go to work, I think, what if this is the last time that I see him?  But, this is emotionally unhealthy for me…something I need to work past and I am trying.  I no longer cry each time he leaves and I am alone (and yes, this used to occur a lot, right after my mom died), but the thoughts still run through my mind and I am focusing on changing that and reducing those thoughts.

Having never been submissive to anyone other than Daddy, it’s hard for me to address this prompt with regard to “breaking up”.  I honestly feel that Daddy is my life partner, so while I worry about death separating us, I don’t spend time worrying about us choosing to split up.  Losing Daddy is unthinkable as my current life would be over.  Would I somehow pick myself up off the floor and continue on?  God, I hope I never have to find out.  Our new D/s dynamic has brought us closer in many ways and has brought an intimacy about that has enriched our marriage.  But, if I were unable to live this life with Daddy, I’m not sure that I would seek out a D/s dynamic with another individual.  To be honest, I can’t even comprehend that.

Sorry to be a Debbie Downer this morning…

nora

18 thoughts on “Reflecting on 30 Days of D/s- Day 24

Add yours

  1. I think breaking up is hard for everyone….I’m a really strong character I couldn’t ever rely on anyone. It frightens me. So I can imagine a bit of what’s it’s like for a sub being alone for whatever reason

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I know I wouldn’t seek out another relationship either. For starters I’m naturally dominant, I did this for the sake of my husband not so much for myself. Submission is not really something I require ….. but the BDSM is fun though! ;P LOL

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I understand what you are saying but I was never domineering …. I think that is the way it is understood every time I try to explain but it is not true.
        I was and still am dominant … I take care of and put plans into action for others all around me and all the time. None of that has changed here, I simply let Sir take the lead when He wants it, He has final say but for the most part I still run the ship.
        This might still be clear as mud, but truth is I haven’t really changed, other than giving Him the lead.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. No, that makes a lot of sense. I still struggle with not taking the lead, but husband has been doing a fantastic job. It’s been really nice to not feel all the responsibility on my shoulders.

          Liked by 2 people

  3. Thank you for sharing, Nora. This is indeed a difficult topic.

    Losing my fiance/Domme to cancer was absolutely devastating. I think what changed the most in its aftermath was my perspective on the passage of time. Time is absolutely precious. If anything it made me more expressive and affectionate.

    I understand the worry but over worrying steals from fully appreciating the time that is here. I believe a healthy amount of worry is doing things that promote safe well-being like eating right, getting exercise, wearing seat belts, making sure the tires on the car are good, testing smoke alarms once a month, and such.

    Take care.

    (I had this worded more eloquently before my phone decided to eat the comments)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for the insightful comment, furcissy! I know you are right about over-worrying and about time being precious. It is something I am really working on right now. Looking forward to the two week trip to the UK Daddy and I are taking in September. It is something we have been wanting to do for forever and we’ve both realized we can’t keep putting off the fun stuff for career advancement. Can’t wait!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. You’ll have a great time in the UK! One of the best things about traveling after starting a blog, is the chance to meet online friends in person. If you have a chance to get together with even one person, don’t hesitate, but take the chance.

        Like

  4. To live with constant sorrow of the past, or abject fear of the future, detracts from enjoying the passionate present.

    It is normal to wonder ‘what if’, but the reality is, we will never know what happens next; only hope we are worthy of the challenge.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Such a valid point, LS! I’m working hard to move forward and sort through my grief. I bought a garden sign recently that reads “Live for your Bliss” and I’ve been trying to do just that. Blogging and journaling brings me a lot of bliss so I’ve been doing tons of it on summer break. Feels good 🙂

      Like

  5. After experiencing such profound and significant loss twice in such a short time it’s no wonder you worry about your Daddy. You are probably still grieving and we all are fragile after suffering great loss. I think you will recover stronger than ever and I’m going to read about it right here. All the best Nora!

    Liked by 1 person

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