Reflecting on 30 Days of D/s- Day 21

Hello fellow bloggers! I have decided to partake in the 30 Days of D/s, which I will utilize as a writing exercise, presented by John Brownstone and Kayla Lords at Loving BDSM.  As suggested by the title, this free activity explores topics surrounding D/s relationships.  I know that there are many of us in this particular circle of writers who are engaged in this writing activity at the moment, so bear with me.  I think that this will be a useful endeavor in further exploring this new lifestyle that Daddy and I have set out on.  As always, thank you for reading!


Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s – Day 21

Prompt: You might have never heard of subfrenzy and still experienced it whether as the submissive or a Dominant. It’s a moment that happens for new submissives or submissives in new relationships where they get a little intense about their submission, sometimes to the detriment of their own safety. It can be overwhelming in healthy relationships and dangerous in bad relationships. It’s good to know what it is and how to recognize it, even if you’re past the point of thinking you’ll be affected by it.

Prior to this prompt, I was unfamiliar with the term “subfrenzy”.  To rectify this, I visited both the Loving BDSM website as well as a kink website provided by kate kinsey.  The definition of subfrenzy provided by miss kinsey is “that first rush of overwhelming, consuming desire to experience every kind of kink, as soon as possible, often to the point of neglecting all other concerns”.  The point being made is that a submissive may be so caught up in experiencing his/her submission that he or she may neglect their own needs, safety, etc.  While I always love expanding my understanding of this new (new to me) world of kink, I do not feel that I have experienced subfrenzy.  I am still taking care of my own physical (working out, eating healthy, plenty of orgasms) and emotional (journaling, writing, time with friends) needs, as well as seeing to Daddy’s physical and emotional needs.

Now, this isn’t to say that Daddy and I haven’t been exploring various avenues of the D/s lifestyle…oh, have we been!  But, we spend a lot of time discussing something before we incorporate it into our life, as we both see this as an investment in our relationship.  Obviously, Daddy always has the final say but he tells me that he loves when I bring ideas to him, regardless if we apply them or not.  For example, we recently incorporated kneeling into our marriage and I am still blown away by what this simple act as done for us.  I think I may write more on that later…

As I read this prompt today, it brought to the forefront of my mind a blog post that I read yesterday from ddjennifer.  While the intent of the post was not referencing subfrenzy, what I took from it was that it can be beneficial to just slow down sometimes.  I feel that this is great advice.  While it is fun and exciting to explore new fantasies, it certainly doesn’t need to happen all at once and it is important to consider new ideas from all angles.  I look forward to savoring new experiences with Daddy in the future.


Happy writing 🙂


8 thoughts on “Reflecting on 30 Days of D/s- Day 21

Add yours

  1. I think ‘subfrenzy’ is a word for something that can occur whenever you find something new. Binge watching Netflix, or listening to every single Elvis song on repeat.

    I did think of Jen’s post as soon as I saw the prompt. You and Daddy seem to be taking this DD business nice and easy.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for sharing, Nora.

    Not to try and speak for the authors here but I believe this is related to the topic we discussed about evolution.

    Basically, when a sub gets their first “taste” of submission they get overwhelmed by their feelings and their minds tend to go racing far ahead of what they are actually prepared for (often tossing common sense and sound judgment to the wayside.)

    The safety issues in these topics are mostly related to BDSM-oriented play that does not necessarily involve relationships or even people that the individuals know well. This can be quite dangerous. Eg. Having one positive bondage and discipline scene and then rushing out to play with nearly anyone in hope of experiencing more. I always see this as the equivalent to someone having sex for the first time, loving it, and then running out and having sex with willing strangers.

    In your situation, the closest thing to frenzy probably happens when you are thinking or fantasizing about things and all of a sudden a LOT of things start seeming like something you want (in the moment) without regard for the long-term repercussions and/or how reasonable they are in both how they appeal to him as well as if it is something that could be maintained over the long haul. Basically, it is when arousal clouds judgment.

    I agree that your methods of discussion probably keep this all in check.

    If you ever find yourself in a position where you were thinking or reading and find yourself feeling a very strong draw intense things such as TPE, tattoos/branding, or wanting a whole set of new piercings, etc., that is likely caused by frenzy. I do think you are aware of when your mind gets ahead of itself 🙂

    Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I experienced subfrenzy and posted about my experience with it last year. The endorphins your body releases can actually create an addiction of sort, leading to the “frenzy.” And even outside that intense frenzy, there can be a tendency to slowly pursue greater and greater submission – which is what led my husband to finally say “slow down!”

    Liked by 1 person

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