Reflecting on 30 Days of D/s- Day 13

Hello fellow bloggers! I have decided to partake in the 30 Days of D/s, which I will utilize as a writing exercise, presented by John Brownstone and Kayla Lords at Loving BDSM.  As suggested by the title, this free activity explores topics surrounding D/s relationships.  I know that there are many of us in this particular circle of writers who are engaged in this writing activity at the moment, so bear with me.  I think that this will be a useful endeavor in further exploring this new lifestyle that Daddy and I have set out on.  As always, thank you for reading!


Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s – Day 13

Prompt: Let us be clear, in D/s, pain isn’t a requirement. You don’t have to be a masochist or a sadist to be D/s. But it’s always good to have an idea of where you stand on the subject.

As a submissive, would you consent to a painful spanking as punishment? As a Dominant, do you want to inflict pain on your submissive? Does the idea of it turn you on or off?

There are no right answers with this one, but because it’s so common, it’s worth thinking about.

While exploring this new (new to us) D/s lifestyle with my husband, I have come to realize that pain is a critical aspect of this journey for me.  If you look up the word pain in the dictionary, it is described as physical suffering or distress, or, a distressing sensation in a particular part of the body, or, mental and/or emotional suffering or torment.  I am learning that different types of pain help me to release different kinds of emotions associated with various stressors.  I’ve found that pain helps motivate me to change and reach my goals.  And, as both my husband and I have realized, pain is a bit of an aphrodisiac for me.

Yes, as a submissive, I have consented to painful spankings.  My Daddy has set clear guidelines for my behavior which include always being respectful, always being obedient, and always striving to please him.  If I demonstrate in any way that I am not adhering to these guidelines, then a discipline spanking will take place.  To answer the second part of the prompt, on behalf of my dominant, yet, Daddy does enjoy inflicting pain on his little girl (me).  He enjoys how powerful it makes him feel, the confidence it instills in him.  However; it has taken him time to become comfortable inflicting this pain.  In the beginning, he was afraid of hurting me and he would hold back.  He now has a much better understanding of what his discipline does for me, and what a wonderful gift it is to our marriage.  He has expressed that it is still sometimes difficult for him to give me the amount of discipline I need, especially when he sees fear in my eyes.  But, we both know that if I don’t fear his spankings and fear his discipline, I won’t work hard to avoid them.

I mentioned above that for me, different types of pain provide a release from different stressors.  I experience much emotional pain right now stemming from the unexpected loss of both my mother and my younger brother.  My husband and I have found that a good hard spanking to release these painful emotions truly helps me to release and move forward with my day.  Another type of pain that I experience is more self-inflicted…the type of pain that comes from a lack of self-confidence in my own abilities or skills.  In these cases, often a challenging workout, which is somewhat painful for the body, helps me to release those feelings.  I also experience the pain of the dedicated submissive who sometimes fails her dominant, and a painful, stinging lecture from him can help me to release these feelings and move forward (as well as his stinging palm across my backside).

Lastly, I have realized that pain and domination are aphrodisiacs for me, and this was hard to accept at first.  However, the dominance that my Daddy displays over me, the pain that comes from his discipline, creates sensations in my body like no other.  I apologize for my indelicacy, but when Daddy spanks me hard to tears, I become wetter than either of us have ever known me to be.  This was difficult for both of us to understand at first.  I think Daddy worried that I was enjoying the spankings he meant as discipline though that wasn’t and isn’t the case…a spanking hurts and during one, all I want is for it to stop.  However, on some level, my body responds to a spanking as some type of foreplay.  The combination of being dominated by Daddy and feeling physical pain applied by his hand is an experience that I don’t ever want to live without.

Thank you, Daddy…you fulfill me, and you rock my world.

Love, nora

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