Reflecting on 30 Days of D/s- Day 9

Hello fellow bloggers! I have decided to partake in the 30 Days of D/s, which I will utilize as a writing exercise, presented by John Brownstone and Kayla Lords at Loving BDSM.  As suggested by the title, this free activity explores topics surrounding D/s relationships.  I know that there are many of us in this particular circle of writers who are engaged in this writing activity at the moment, so bear with me.  I think that this will be a useful endeavor in further exploring this new lifestyle that Daddy and I have set out on.  As always, thank you for reading!


Loving BDSM’s 30 Days of D/s – Day 09


Do you know what your hard limits are? Are there a few things you’d like to try but you’re a little nervous? They’re such a big part of D/s and kink, it’s never a bad idea to think about them no matter where you are in your relationship.

This is an interesting topic to me and one that I will openly admit, Daddy and I have not discussed much (though I am anxious to now!).  When I consider why this is, I feel that Daddy and I know each other so well we didn’t feel the need to talk about hard and soft limits.  Over the years, we have explored many different facets of our sexuality and we both have a pretty good understanding of what the other enjoys.  However, when I read through the kink checklist provided by Loving BDSM I realized that there are quite a few activities listed that we have never tried, some that I might like to try, and many that I will need to research as I have no clue as to what the activity is (what the heck is a Wartenberg Wheel???…note to self, must Google this later).

After reading through the checklist though, I realized that I do have some hard limits and I’m sure Daddy does as well.  I have zero interest in any kind of bathroom play…no golden showers here.  I am not interested in diaper play.  There will never be any kind of cutting or mutilation occurring in my marriage.  I am not interested in what I perceive to be negative name calling (i.e. being called a whore or a slut).  I am not interested in using duct tape during bondage play as it scares me.  I’ve never heard of mummification, but no thank you.  However, please note as you read this, I do not judge others who do enjoy these activities.  I have strange kinky fantasies and I respect the fact that you do too.  It is that kink that brings us together on WordPress and that is something of great value to me.

With regard to soft limits, there are things that are a little scary to me but that I might like to try.  I recently read about being collared.  This is something that Daddy and I have never done and I think that I might like that physical reminder around my neck of who I belong to.  However, I am really not interested in being led around like a puppy.  Another thing that I might like to try is face fucking.  Obviously, I give Daddy blow jobs, but what we have never tried is me kneeling before him and him actually fucking my mouth while fisting my hair.  This scares me a little…but I think I would like to try it, especially if it would please Daddy.  Another thing I might like to try is an anal hook.  I saw one of these for the first time in a sex shop and I couldn’t help but ask the lady working what people used it for.  She explained to me that it was to be inserted into one’s bottom and then it could be hooked to something (she gave the example of hooking it to hand cuffs or being used during suspension play…oh, suspension play might be another hard limit for me).

Overall, I look forward to continuing to explore kinkiness with Daddy.  I cannot wait to have a conversation with him about hard and soft limits, and read him the kink checklist, as perhaps there are kinks he would like to try that we have never even discussed.  What a conversation that will be!          

10 thoughts on “Reflecting on 30 Days of D/s- Day 9

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  1. Hi Nora, there are a lot of things out there done in a very large number of ways, often completely changing the symbolism behind the act. It can be quite interesting to figure out all the different approaches you will find and the justifications/reasons/motivations behind it all. Sometimes it only takes one eloquently worded romantic description to make something seem appealing.

    As for a Wartenberg Wheel it is basically a spiked pinwheel on a stick used in testing reflexology and for nerve damage. In BDSM it is used to create other sensations 🙂

    Take care.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for the response, furcissy! My Daddy and I had a great conversation last night about trying some new things. Very exciting! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That sounds like fun, Nora.

        A handful of random tidbits you might find helpful:
        -Unless you have a really bad reaction, it may be worth giving things two tries. Sometimes the mood, environment, and mindset won’t be conducive for a good reaction.
        -If the idea of something puzzles you more than anything, feel free to ask why. Generally people will be more than willing to share their perspectives on topics they like or dislike.
        -Spend some time reflecting upon how new activities affect you. Look for trends when it comes to themes and symbols. It is very likely there are certain factors that will speak to your subspace (submissive mind space) and it will take a lot of the guesswork out in the future.

        D/s relationships have a natural tendency to evolve. It can be quite fun.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I highly recommend a collar, nora, and being collared in a formal ceremony. It’s not about being led around like a puppy, but a symbol of the commitment you both desire. Think of it as a wedding band amplified by about 100. Once you wear his collar, you’ll never want to take it off.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I wear cuffs, not a collar during the day but they have the same meaning to us. My cuffs are bolted on and can’t be removed without tools and Sir … different strokes right? 😀 We decided that a collar would be too obvious for what I do and because I was always known to wear necklaces as it was … I have so many it seems silly to now put all that ‘pretty’ and money aside just because everyone else did it that way.

    We have a short ritual in the evenings where I get my leather for evening, bed, and weekend wear until we go out … otherwise the choice is up to me (to match my outfit for the day), as long as there is something around my neck.

    Since I tend to lean more towards being dominant instead of submissive anyway it’s also a nice way for me (and my brain) to switch gears once Sir is home and the work day is done!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love this, nijntje! Question though…as you wear your cuffs during the day…don’t people notice? How do you explain them? Just curious as to the ins and outs of this. Last night, Daddy put cuffs on me and had me sit on the floor at his feet while we watched tv. I LOVED it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Some people notice, normally I get comments on how pretty they are. We picked a piece of jewelry by W. Britt that is obvious to anyone in the ‘know’ but understated enough to be ignored by others. It’s called the ‘small screw bracelet’ and they have been on permanently for a bit over 2 years now with no issues. 😀 Shower, hot tub, gardening you name it.
        It’s no longer available but there are many others with a similar feel, her stuff is very industrial in look normally. We just thought outside the box sort to speak! 😀

        Liked by 1 person

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