I woke up this morning thinking about the close bond that domestic discipline has forged between my husband and I. We have always been close, best friends even, but this new journey has brought us closer than ever. There are no secrets between us, no hurts that haven’t been addressed, and the way we can speak so honestly with each other now is (at least for me) mind blowing. We have been honest with each other in ways that has brought us so much closer as husband and wife.
We both feel that this lifestyle enhances our natural gender traits. I certainly feel more feminine and attractive to my husband and as he said when we were discussing this issue, “You have awoken something inside of me”, referring to his own dominant, masculine traits. I realize that I look at my husband through a different lens now and I love what I see. I see a strong man, my protector, my lover, my Daddy, and my disciplinarian. I see a man who wants to ensure we have a stronger, healthier marriage and that moves me in ways that I am not yet able to put into words.
While our sex life is better than ever, there is something about being bared by my husband for a spanking that is intensely intimate, in a different way than making love/sex/fucking is. When I am due for a spanking, all my defenses are stripped away and it seems the world just disappears. It is just he and I, my bare bottom under his firm hand, for however long he deems necessary. During these moments, I often cry out in distress and sometimes I cry very real tears from the pain of my spanking. And yet, resolved to better our marriage, my husband continues the spanking until he feels that a lesson has been learned. While his left hand is generally on the small of my back, holding me firmly in place, occasionally he will reach down and take my hand in his; an acknowledgement of the pain I am enduring to better our marriage, a signal that he is proud that I am taking my discipline without complaint.
And after…nothing can describe the love and gratitude that I feel toward him after he has thoroughly chastised me with a spanking. I feel small, feminine, and loved. I feel worthy of his time, attention, and love. When I am in his arms, being held against his chest, my panties still down revealing a scarlet red, throbbing behind, I know that we have discovered the greatest intimacy we have known together…the intimacy of domestic discipline.
~ Nora
Finding Strength in my Submission 
I wish that those negative people could see this part of CDD/DD. All they do is concentrate on the negative. They make it out to be what it isn’t, abuse. They want to make it about men oppressing women. They don’t care about how this has made good marriages stronger and bad marriage great. They don’t want to listen to the fact that, as I learned several years ago, that it is 9 out 10 women bring this to their husband, and i have talked to a few who did. It isn’t about abuse, but a connection and order of how God desired marriage to be.. So I wish that people would either try to learn about it before they open their fat mouths and speak ignorance, or just don’t say anything at all. But that is my opinion. I wish you two the best and a very long and fruitful marriage.
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I agree! I know many couples who would probably benefit from this type of marriage, but in today’s “politically correct” world, I would never suggest it. I suppose each couple must find their path. Glad to be on this one!
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I have told some people that I am in favor of it. But it is a different from reactions you would get 80 to 100 years ago. I think that the feminist movement has been so drilled into women these days that top mention just the word, SUBMISSION, you get looked at like you want to oppress women. You are in favor of abusing women. That isn’t what it is about. This has nothing to do with that. So if they would take the time really understand, even if they still don’t agree with it, then at least they won’t be so negative about it.
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Agreed!
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I may be late to this party, commenting on an old post. I learned about CDD from 2 women about a year and half ago, both who (after all their children were grown) have left their marriages. They told me all about how CDD works and directed me to read some of these websites. I have learned much. They plan to never divorce as they do not believe in divorce, so their choices are to live separately and celibately from their husbands for the rest of their lives, or reconcile. Their situations were as is mentioned in another post, that their husbands felt CDD was their biblical right, and the wives could not say no. But even if it against the bible and a sin to say no to your husband and separate from the marriage, in the end, if the submissive spouse (or I guess, for that matter, the dominant spouse?) cannot sustain this life, they must do the painful thing and look out for themselves. The good news is that their 2 husbands reach out to them regularly and want to reconcile, and assure them that punishments will no longer be part of their marriages. So I pray that it will work out for them. I do think these 2 couples still really love each other. These women have also told that DD marriages not based on religion do have a stronger element of initial and ongoing consent.
So while I may not understand someone’s reasoning for being in such a marriage (and didn’t even know about it until recently), I totally respect a couple’s choice to live in a DD or CDD marriage, and it is definitely not abusive if both people agree and continue to agree, and that, if the life becomes unstainable for one of the partners, the punishment structure will cease, or at least pause, to discover what is going on. The author here says elsewhere in the blog that she and her husband both want this and that they did not enter this life for religious reasons, and I say bravo, live the life you have imagined.I am heartened to know that many women ask for this, but if they change their mind later, it is not such a surprise to me, as they may not have really known what they were getting into. This holds true of course for Female led marriages and same sex marriages.
To close, my mom, God rest her soul, used to say “marriage is not all gold that glitters. It is daily hard work but worth the effort.” So for the CDD/DD marriages that fail, there are many that flourish and are so happy. And for non-CDD/DD marriages that fail, there are many that flourish and are so happy (such as mine for 40 years, my siblings, my extended family and many friends). It is just important that there is a chance to consent to whatever life you want, and then pause and relfect if something is going wrong. This consent is what makes it NOT abuse. Thank you.
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I am not a part of a CDD marriage, but I was in a DD marriage…which is completely consensual. It is very important to distinguish between the two concepts.
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Nora, thank you for posting my comment and for your reply. And yes I have learned that DD is completely consensual. Sorry if I did not make that clear in my original post.
I saw on a much more recent post you had some serious health problems. I hope you are recovering well and feeling much better.
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Thank you for your kind and supportive words, Lucinda. They are much appreciated ❤
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A very accurate description of the emotional side of spanking.
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This is a good post, Nora. Very sincere and thought provoking. D/s relationships really do have a way of strengthening trust and communication. — AJT
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Thank you for the comment, Alpha! My husband really enjoyed reading this one. While we talk about our new lifestyle quite a bit, sometimes I am able to express in writing what I cannot with words.
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